Nemesism | GLEE

twenty two | britney/brittany

After writing 'Christopher Cross' on the whiteboard, Mr. Schuester turned to the Glee Clubbers and asked them, "Alright, who can tell me who Christopher Cross is?"

Brittany said, "He discovered America."

While Christian's eyebrows furrowed and Finn nodded his head, Mr. Schuester said, "Close. He did write an iconic chart topper-- 'Sailing'."

While Christian simply tilted his head and eyed Mr. Schuester, Kurt leaned in towards Mercedes and said to her, "I have a bad feeling about this lesson."

Tina said, "Never heard of him, don't want to hear about him."

With a sheet of paper in his hand, Mr. Schuester said to them, "Now some people think of the term 'Easy Listening' as a bad thing. But I'm going to let this music speak for itself. You guys love Lady Gaga and the Rolling Stones-- and you guys are really good about putting it all out there. But really good music can also be controlled, and restrained. It doesn't have to attack an audience, it can let them come to you."

As Mr. Schuester walked away from the Glee Clubbers, Finn asked him, "How could you get caught between the moon and New York City? They're like a hundred miles apart."

While Christian only raised his eyebrows to himself, Kurt said, "Mr. Shue? If I may. I think I speak for all of us when I say it's not that we don't love the idea of spending a week on this silky smooth Adult Contemporary, it's just that, as teens, this isn't the easiest music for us to relate to. However, there is a burgeoning Facebook campaign that has swelled to over five members. The ardent demand: that this week, at the fall homecoming assembly, the McKinley High School Glee Club performs a number by... wait for it... Ms. Britney Spears."

With a wave of his hand, Artie said, "Spears, Spears, yeah."

With an eyebrow raised, Christian eyed Mr. Schuester as he said, "Sorry, Kurt, Kurt, sorry. No, no, no. I-I don't think she's a very good role model."

Christian replied, "Well, half the time I don't think you're a good role model, but you don't hear me complaining."

While Mr. Schuester looked over at Christian with furrowed eyebrows, Rachel said to him, "But, Mr. Shue, we kind of grew up with her."

Tina told him, "She's literally why I wanted to become a performer."

Then Brittany said, "I don't want to do Britney."

Kurt asked her, "Why no Britney, Brittany?"

Brittany told him, "Because my name is also Brittany Spears."

While Christian slowly tilted his head and stared at Brittany with furrowed eyebrows, Mr. Schuester said, "W-What?"

Mercedes asked, "What the hell is she talking about?"

Brittany told them, "My middle name is Susan, my last name is Pierce. That makes me Brittany S. Pierce. 'Brittany Spierce'. I've lived my entire life in Britney Spears' shadow. I will never be as talented or as famous. I hope you'll all respect that I want Glee Club to remain a place where I, Brittany S. Pierce, can escape the torment of Britney Spears."