Nemesism | GLEE

eighteen | theatricality

With his head tilted to the side and his arms crossed over his chest, Christian did nothing but eye Tina as Artie said to her, "It's so weird."

Finn said to Tina, "This so isn't you."

Tina told them, "I feel like an Asian Branch Davidian."

Mr. Schuester asked her, "Tina, are there any other looks you can try?"

Santana said, "Biker chick?"

Finn asked, "Cowgirl?"

Mercedes said, "Hood rat."

Quinn said, "Computer programmer."

Brittany said, "Cross-country skier."

Noah said to her, "Catholic schoolgirl."

With a sigh, Christian elbowed Noah in his side, which got Noah to turn to Christian and say 'dude, what the hell', while Brittany said, "Happy Meal, no onions. Or a chicken."

Tina said to them, "Look, I appreciate it, guys, but it just isn't me. I know who I am, and I'm not allowed to show it. It's like communism."

With a shrug, Christian said, "I just think that you should dress up as one of those slashers in horror movies. You know, Michael Meyers, Chucky, Ghostface, Freddie Krueger, Jason Voorhees, Jigsaw, Norman Bates, Hannibal Lecter." When Tina slowly turned her head to look at him, he said, "What? Those were some pretty good movies. I'm pretty sure that if you were to dress up like any of them, you'd be doing them some justice."

Tina slowly turned to look away from him with furrowed eyebrows, just as Rachel Berry quickly entered the choir room and said to them, "Guys, we have a serious problem. You know how I've been doing some deep background on Vocal Adrenaline?"

Artie asked her, "Isn't that against the rules?"

Rachel replied, "No, not at all. Or probably. Whatever! Anyway, what I figured out; I rooted through the dumpsters behind the Carmel auditorium and I found eighteen empty boxes of Christmas lights." While Tina said 'oh no', Rachel said, "Which led me to Joelle Fabrics. I asked them about red Chantilly lace. They were sold out."

Mercedes said, "Oh, sweet Jesus."

While Kurt said 'oh, my', Mr. Schuester said, "Wait, what?"

Kurt told him, "They're doing Gaga."

Mercedes said, "That's it. It's over."

Rachel replied, "Exactly."

Kurt said with a shake of his head, "We should have guessed it. They're going for full-out theatricality. They know it's the easiest way to beat us. Damn them."

Noah asked them, "What's up with this Gaga dude? He just, like, dresses weird, right? Like Bowie?"

With yet another sigh, Christian elbowed Noah once more, which got Noah to yell 'will you quit doing that', while Kurt told him, "Lady Gaga is a woman. She's only the biggest pop act to come along in decades. She's boundary-pushing, the most theatrical performer of our generation. And she changes her look faster than Brit changes sexual partners."