53. Healing & Moving Forward

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                                                                                                Lucas

After two damn months in the hospital, I am finally home. Jaxon didn't want to leave my side, so we both did online courses for school. We didn't want to fall behind in our classes. Everyone from the team came by to visit as well as Coach Littel. Every time he came by, he had to show pictures of his new grandbabies. His daughter Elise went into labor the day everything changed.

"If you ever defile my locker room again boys," he gave us a stern look. "I will have you cleaning ever single inch of that room with toothbrushes." We both tried to hide our laughter until he muttered "bunch of jack rabbits." Then it was full belly laughter for a good ten minutes, even though it hurt like hell.

Come to find out I have slight nerve damage and might not be able to play football again. That hurt a lot but I'm learning it's part of life. I'm just happy that we are both alive and learning to heal and move on from that day.

"Is this okay Lucas?"

I hum in response. I learn that Jaxon gives the best damn massages. I feel his fingers trace my scar and I feel his breath hitch.

"Jaxon" I look over my shoulder and see him take a deep breath and he looks in my eyes. "I'm okay, I promise." He lowers his head and leaves a lingering kiss there. My heart melts for him more each day. "I think I'm good now." I don't want to see pain in his eyes anymore. I turn over on my back as he gets off the bed. "Come here baby" He slowly crawls his way up my body. I feel goosebumps covering every surface of me, as his hands slide up my body. Just a light touch from him gets me every damn time. You would think after a year that the spark would die a little bit. But for us it just shines brighter. I feel his lips trail kisses up my body. It's as if he is trying to mesmerize every part of me.

"Jaxon"

He comes up all the way making sure he is not putting all his weight on me. But I'm not having any of that. I wrap my arms around him and bring his body down on me. He then buries his face in the crook on my neck, as I run my hands on his back. "This feels nice." I murmur, this is the most relaxed I have felt in a long time. I feel his body shake a little as he starts kissing my neck.

 "Don't ever leave me again Lucas." I feel a tear drop down my neck and I hold him tighter to me. "Look at me Jaxon." He lifts his head up, and I wipe the tears away. "Never." I kiss his lips and hold him tight. I feel the tears fall down my face as well. He deepens the kiss as I slowly roam my hands down and grab his ass. He lifts his head and looks uncertain. "Are you sure, I don't want to hurt you." His lips say one thing, but I know his mind thinks another. I make sure I look into his mesmerizing eyes, that has captivated me since day one.

"I've never been surer of anything in my life." He crashes his lips to mine, and I move my hands down to take his boxers off. He lifts his hips not breaking the kiss so I can try to pull them down. I fail miserably and he chuckles into the kiss.

"Let me help you with that asshole." He lifts himself off me and takes his boxers off. Then he slides his hands up my legs to pull my boxers off. Once our only article of clothing is off, he lays back down on me and kisses my lips again. I feel our dicks harden and I moan into the kiss. I feel him smile as he deepens the kiss and starts moving his body against mine. I always love foreplay with him, but right now I just want to feel that connection.

"Stop being a fucking tease."

"I'm not." He pulls away smirking at me. He reaches over and pulls the lube out of the drawer. When he starts rubbing some on his dick and my ass, he looks at me with slight hesitation. "You tell me if it's too much."

"I will, now come kiss me."

He leans down and kisses me as I spread my legs wider. I feel him grab his hard shaft and slowly pushes the head of it in me. We both gasp and I deepen the kiss as he pushes further into me.

"You, okay?"

"Yes" I lied, my back hurts a little but I don't want him to stop. "Lucas don't fucking lie to me."

"I'll be okay"

"Maybe we shouldn't. It's too soon."

I feel him slowly start to pull out. "Jaxon stop!" He stops right away and has a pain expression on his face. "Please Jax, I need this, we both fucking need this." I bring him back down to me and kiss his lips. "I love you Jaxon. I fucking need you." I kiss him again. I have never felt this desperate for anything, or anyone in my life.

"I need you to Lucas. I love you so fucking much." He kisses me again and pushes himself back inside me. Jaxon moves his hand between us and starts stroking me. As he thrusts in and out of me, his lips never leave mine. I wrap my arm around his neck to bring him closer. I want to be fused with him, and I know he feels it too. He moves his lips to my neck and kisses me and I tilt my head back. I feel like my eyes are going to roll into the back of my head.

"Lucas" he kisses my neck as he buries his face into the crook of it.

"Jaxon" I can barely breathe his name out as I'm on cloud fucking nine. My muscles clench around him as he cries out and I feel him release. I cry out my own release and feel him pulsate inside me. Jaxon pulls out and cleans up our mess and then lays beside me and kisses me tenderly.

"Fuck you made me see stars." He says with that gorgeous lazy smile. I can't help but snort out a laugh. "It was phenomenal for sure." I caress his cheek. "I love you Jaxon more every single day." He kisses my lips and then stares into my eyes. "I love you more than you'll ever know." He lays his head on my chest and kisses me where my heart is, and I feel content in this moment. I close my eyes and have the biggest smile on my face. In a way it feels like we are free from the past and are finally able to move forward.

Some people have different ways to heal and move forward. This right here was our way to help us heal. I never believed in fate or soulmates or any of that crap. But now I believe, because I just gave him part of my soul tonight. He already had my heart a long time ago, but tonight I finally feel free.

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