Queen Bee

November 2004 (3)/December 2004 (1)

Swinging my bedroom door open, Des busted through screaming with nothing but excitement as I was abruptly pulled from my dreamland. "Mama! Mama it's my birthday!" He squealed, quickly crawling onto my tall mattress.

A lazy laugh escaped my lips as my eyes peeled themselves open, landing immediately on Des jumping up and down on my bed. "I know, baby. Happy birthday." I rasped, trying my absolute hardest to regain as much consciousness as I could. 

"Thanks, mommy!" He smiled, jumping as high as possible into the air before crashing back down onto the mattress one last time and quickly running into my open arms. Securing them tightly around him, I felt as my eyes became heavy once more. "Mommy!" Des yelled in his best, most demanding and authoritative voice, causing them to be flung back open once more. "No sleeping!" 

"I'm sorry, baby, I'm sorry." I croaked, wiping the sleep from my ducts. "What'dya wanna do today?" 

"It's my birthday party!" He yelled. 

I laughed. "No, baby, not today. Your parties on Saturday, it's only Wednesday." 

"Oh." He paused. "Well, I wanna call daddy!" 

"I think daddy told me he was gonna call you 'round supper time, baby." 

"Why? I wanna talk to him now!" Des whined.

"I know ya do, I'm sorry, but I think daddy's workin' today." 

"But you're not working?" He asked, obviously feeling confused. 

"Yeah, 'cause you're here with me. When you're at daddy's for Christmas I'm sure he wont be workin' then." 

"Are you gonna be at daddy's for Christmas?" He asked inquisitively. 

A small, empathetic smile ran across my lips as I shook my head gently. "No, baby." 

"Is daddy gonna be at my birthday?" 

I sighed sadly. "No." 

"Why not?" A somber look began taking over his facial features. "Why can't I live with daddy and you?" 

"Well, baby, you do live with daddy and me-" 

"No! At the same time! With Hai and Lainey and Stevie!"

"'Cause-" I sighed once more. "That's just not how it works, Des."

"But why?!" He screeched. 

"Because me and daddy don't want to live together." I said in my most softest tone of voice. 

"Daddy does!" 

"No, baby, he doesn't-" 

"Yes he does! One time, I even saw daddy cry!" 

"Really?" I asked, my brows drawing into a confused frown. I realize I shouldn't be pumping my own kid for information on his dad, but I at least need to know what the hell Des has been seeing over there! If I even get the slightest inkling that he knows anything about the pills, I swear to god I'll be over at that courthouse faster than Marshall can blink. Or maybe there's just a sick part of me that wants to hear about Marshall crying over me, who knows? 

Des nodded furiously. "I gave him a hug so he was otay. He said he just missed mommy."

My lips thinned into another gentle smile. "That's really nice of you, baby, but just remember it's not your responsibility to make daddy feel better, okay? Or to make me feel better. We're here to make you feel better, not the other way around. That's why we're the adults and not you, baby."

He nodded once more in understanding. "Otay, mommy." 

My cheeks balled into a larger smile. "Good." Kissing him on the head, he giggled with tons of joy as my fingers slithered their way towards his sides, starting a vicious tickling attack on his tiny body. As he scream laughed and flailed his legs around in his best attempt to get me to stop, I finally complied a few moments later, both with big grins on our faces. Staring at him through my love-filled eyes, I just felt so incredibly happy that he seemed so happy. When he originally came in and started asking about Marshall, I couldn't help but feel like today was gonna be a bad day for him. Recently, and I don't know why, but he's been starting to act out a little here and there whenever the topic of Marshall gets brought up.