April 2004 (2)

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As me and the boys piled out of our limo and onto the red carpet for our album release party, I knew I didn't wanna be here right now. Cameras flashed, paparazzi yelled stupid ass questions, and the sweltering L.A. air was about to be my last straw. I mean it's only fuckin' April! How the hell is it this hot here already?! 

Thankfully though, my Valium was definitely helping to calm my nerves at least a little bit. But still, the intruding thought of Angel coming to pick up her shit today refused to leave my mind. I had known about a week ago that she was coming to pack up today, but that doesn't mean I wasn't still pissed off about it. She had told me the only reason she was coming today was just 'cause I wasn't gonna be home so it made it easier for her to come and get her stuff, but I knew that was bullshit. She chose today 'cause she knew it was the day of our release party and she wanted to fuck with me. She wanted me to just be miserable all day, and not have any fun at the party for the album I worked so fuckin' hard to create, yet she calls me vindictive. Fuckin' bitch. 

But I did know she was gonna have to come get her shit eventually considering the possession date for her place in Brooklyn was only about a week away. I ended up signing that stupid fuckin' custody agreement once I realized there was really no stopping her at this point. She had already paid the 2.3 million dollars she owed for her stupid fuckin' house, she had already bought a fuck tonne of furniture, I mean hell, she had even gotten her mail forwarded to the new address! She was moving, and there was nothin' I could fuckin' do about it... So, instead of continuing to fight with her, I signed it, and now I officially only get to see Des every other month. Well, as of May 1st, 2004, that is. But still. 

"Come on, dawg. I can tell ya upset. Just try to stop thinkin' 'bout it." Proof said as comfortingly as he could, throwing his arm over my shoulder as we made our way inside the large venue. 

I nodded, my ears quickly becoming filled with the sound of My Band as my eyes adjusted to the extremely low light level. "Yeah, I'm tryin', Doody."

"Look, this is our night, aight? And ya single now! There's way too many bad bitches in here for ya to continue thinkin' 'bout Angel." Nodding again, I knew he was just tryna make me feel better. I'm sure I'm not the ideal person to wanna party with right now. But how can I stop thinking about it when I know I'm 'bout to go home in a few days to a half empty closet? A half empty bedroom? A half empty bathroom? As much as I hate her right now, I still love her. I still want her back, but maybe he's right. Maybe it's my chance to start tryna move on tonight. She clearly is anyway, so why shouldn't I? 

Making our way through the club, we saw Dre, Obie, Fifty, Game, both groups of their boys, and a million fuckin' executives that I did not feel like talkin' to in the slightest. So, instead of pretending I was interested in whatever bullshit small talk they were offering, we all headed upstairs towards our reserved section and began throwing back as many drinks as we could. That's the key for tonight, I think. Just gotta get as high, and as drunk as I can. Eventually Angel'll leave my mind. I know she will, even if I have to kill a few brain cells first. 

As I moved my drunk and blurry gaze around the room, I looked at the multiple different groupies, strippers, and waitresses that were just standing around, obviously hoping to fuck someone famous tonight. "What 'bout her?" Proof nudged my shoulder as he jutted his chin out towards a red head with extremely pale skin. 

I shrugged. "Big forehead." 

He laughed. "Aight, what 'bout the blonde one over there? In the bikini top?" 

"Small tits." I slurred, continuing to graze my eyes over each chick until I noticed one staring at me. As soon as she saw me look her way, a big smile flashed across her face. "What 'bout her?" I looked back towards Proof, motioning with my head towards the chick. 

Looking for a second, he cracked a smile. "Dawg, that's Superhead." 

"What?!" I yelled in shock. "No it ain't. How'd the fuck she get in?! Was she invited?!" 

He shrugged. "It's Superhead, she ain't need to be invited. She finds her own way in." 

"Don't go anywhere near her, homie." Fifty inserted, leaning over Proof after obviously overhearing our conversation.

"Why?" I questioned. 

"She's nuts. Yayo fucked her a few months back. Said she wanted her toes sucked." Immediately, all three of us bursted out into laughter and for the very first time tonight, I felt like I was actually having some fun. 

"Lemme see, lemme see." I said in between my laughter as I tried my best to compose myself. Once I did, I looked back towards Superhead who had clearly not taken her eyes off me once as I motioned for her to come over. Instantly, she left her group and began swinging her hips towards us. 

"Hi." She purred, her eyes low and sultry looking. "Mind if I sit here?" She pointed towards the empty chair in front of us.

"Nah, come sit here, baby." Outstretching my arm, she smirked and quickly took the hint as she gently sat herself down on my lap. Snaking my hand around her waist, her arm went around my neck as she crossed her legs. "So, you're Superhead, right?" I asked, earning immediate chuckles to come from both Proof and Fifty. 

"Karrine." She flashed a passive aggressive smile. "But you can call me whatever you want." 

I nodded. "We was just talkin' 'bout some of the rumours we've heard." 

"Mm, about me?"

"Yeah." 

She nodded. "Like what?" 

"That ya like gettin' ya toes sucked."  I said with a big, goofy smile and once again all three of us erupted into laughter.

"Mhm, well I don't know about that. But I know Curtis begged me to let him do it a few weeks ago." She said with attitude. Honestly, it was almost the same kinda attitude Angel used to give me when we first met. 

Instantly, me and Proof began howling with laughter once more as Fifty just smiled, trying his best to not look embarrassed. "Ahh, Karrine, come on now, girl." He lazily waved his hand at her, attempting to just brush her off. 

"Mhm." She smacked her lips together before bringing her attention back down towards me. "Anyway, it's Em, right?" 

I nodded. "Yeah." 

Smiling, she gently ran her fingers through the back of my hair, the exact same way Angel used to do and I knew I was about to be putty in her fuckin' hands. Goddamn it! I was tryna find someone to get over Angel, not to feel like I'm fuckin' Angel! "Y'know, a little birdie told me you might be newly single?" She questioned.  

"Yeah? Well that lil' birdie might have told ya the truth, then." 

"Mm, and if it did, does that mean you would wanna hang out tonight?" 

"Only if ya wanted to come back to my hotel." 

Nodding gently, she sunk the top row of her teeth into her bottom lip, her eyes quickly darkening with lust as she began to lean into me. Slowly, my eyes fluttered closed and I allowed as her lips softly met mine. Hm. She might have the same sort of demeanour as Angel, but she definitely ain't taste like her. Her lips definitely ain't feel like her's. The top one's too small to feel like her's. One of my most favourite things about Angel is how full her lips are, when we would kiss it was like my entire mouth was engulfed by her. I loved it. This chick sucks. 

Pulling away from her, I glanced down at her body. Fuck. She is hot, though. Whatever. I can't wait around forever lookin' for the right chick to sleep with. I gotta get it outta the way now, get it outta my system. I mean, to be fair, it has been damn near two months since I've had sex. It's now or never I guess. 

Deciding I still wanted to sleep with her, I let her stay with us until I was ready to leave, which actually wasn't for a few more hours. I ended up having such a good time that I actually wanted to stay and drink and hang out with everybody. Maybe it was the fact that I was fucked up on almost every substance I could find, but oh well. If that's what I need to have fun right now, then I'll fuckin' take it. 

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