Learning

Past

Bucky got up slowly but winced at how sore his neck was. He walked towards the kitchen and recognized the sound of the water running.

He walked in and saw Sam washing dishes. There was a plate of food on the counter with a post it on it that said Bucky.

Bucky walked in and held the plate. "This for me?" Sam jumped slightly but looked at him. "Damn you scared me... yes that's yours." He said as he dried his hands.

Bucky sat down and removed the Saran Wrap and took a bite of the food. He nodded his head as he continued to eat. "Very good." He mumbled.

Sam smiled softly at that. "I'm glad..." he watched him but cleared his throat. "I'll be in the other room."

Sam walked out to the Therapy room and stood in front of the massive window watching the rain fall. He closed his eyes and just listened to it. He felt a soothing feeling come over him.

He had gotten Peter situated in another room so he could get some quality rest. The kid had been through a lot the last few days.

"Enjoying the rain?" Bucky said as he walked into the room sipping on some water. Sam looked at him slightly but looked out the window again. "Yeah... I used to do this a lot with my fiancé." He said as he thought of Riley.

"I understand why... it's relaxing." Bucky stood next to Sam watching and listening as well. "This.. this was one of the things that helped me when I was in Hydra. The sound of rain would relax me.... it was a life saver."

Sam looked  at him. "So we both got a connection to the rain huh." Sam said with a chuckle. "That we do." Bucky said continuing to watch the rain.

Sam smiled faintly and turned his gaze. "Hey... um. The pictures got released to the news. So... everyone has probably seen them."

Bucky tensed slightly but sighed. "It was expected... he keeps his word." He said calmly. Sam nodded, but sighed.

"Do you regret it? Kissing me? Like... it wasn't romantic or anything right?" He said quickly.

" it wasn't romantic. It was just, two friends.." Bucky said as he looked at Sam. Sam looked at him.

"Two friends... right?" Sam said.

Bucky stayed quiet for a bit, ignoring the question. He cleared his throat and looked at him. "Well... I think you should get to bed. You've been a lifesaver today..." Bucky said with a soft smile.

Sam nodded slightly. "Yeah... uh. See you tomorrow." He patted his shoulder and headed to the other room. Bucky stayed there and sighed as he watched the rain.

"That was painful to watch." A voice said behind him. He rolled his eyes and looked at Dr. Raynor. "Imagine being me... it hurt a lot more."

"You're afraid." She said as she sipped her tea. "Maybe I am scared who knows." Bucky said.

"Afraid of someone loving you for you ?" She said, giving him a faint side eye. He just shrugged. "I don't know... I like him. A lot, but... he doesn't need me like that, and I don't want to burden him." He said. She sighed and patted his back.

"Alright... I'll stop bugging you about it. Now, go get some rest." she said. As she said that Peter screamed in his sleep.

Bucky ran over to him since they were sharing a room. "Hey hey..." Bucky said as he helped Peter up. Peter was crying and holding his head. Bucky was slightly hesitant but he held him and sighed.

"What happened kid?" Bucky said calmly as he rubbed the kids head. "I- I saw Uncle Ben die again..." he said in between sobs.

"And.. and I saw you and Sam die as well. I couldn't do anything..." the boy started to cry harder. Bucky just held him tighter and covered him with the blanket.

"Hey... I'm right here. Sams right upstairs in his room. Everyone is okay." He said as he looked at the kid. The kid had some things that were unresolved and that needed to be addressed. He's been hiding this for awhile.

"We're all here... okay?" Peter teared up as he nodded. Bucky hugged him and sighed. "I'll sit here while you fall asleep okay. I won't let you get anymore nightmares tonight."

Peter nodded slightly and leaned his head on him and just closed his eyes. Bucky rested his eyes and started to hum quietly as the boy fell asleep. Bucky soon after fell asleep.

Sam and Dr. Raynor watched the whole situation. Sam was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. A faint smile was on his face. "He reminds me of Riley..." Dr. Raynor said.

Sam nodded slightly. "He does... just different temperaments." Sam thought about Riley but winced  as he grabbed his side. He sank to the floor slowly. Dr. Raynor helped him back up, and took him upstairs.

"How bad was the diagnosis?" She said as she helped him onto a bed. Sam laid back exhausted. "I either have a year to live or five..." she frowned as she sat by his side.

"You need to rest Sam..." she said, worry filling her voice.  He chuckled tiredly. "I know... but this country needs Captain America, Peter needs to be protected and Bucky needs me." He said.

She teared up and sighed. "I wish you could rest."

He chuckled again. "Me too..."

She held his hand. "Riley... Riley would want you to rest. I remember when you got into a small car accident and he just made sure you took a week off... he really cared for you." She was quiet. "I can't lose you too, Sam."

Sam looked at the ceiling and smiled sadly. "You won't..." Sam closed his eyes and thought back to the days with Riley.

"Sam I swear .... you need to rest for once. You can't take all this work on." Riley said as the two walked into their apartment kitchen.

"First off, I can, and second. You aren't going to tell me what to do? Deal? Deal." Sam smirked as he took off his Air Force jacket.

Riley rolled his eyes. "Uh huh. I will tell you what to do wether you like it or not." He flicked the back of his head.

"Is that how you treat your fiancé? Dang I'm curious as to how you'll treat your husband." He said as he walked over to him.

Riley smiled softly and kissed his cheek. "Marry me and you'll find out." Sam chuckled and rubbed his cheek. "I can't wait."

Sam shot up with a jolt. He had been dreaming apparently... he held his head and realized he was crying.

Dr. Raynor was sitting on the chair by his bed asleep. Sam glanced at her and covered her with a blanket.

He stared at his hands and teared up more. He just covered his face and cried quietly.

As you know, Bucky has nightmares of losing people  and of Hydra. That's what keeps him up at night, but for Sam, it's the sad feeling of wondering what would things could've been like.

Sam was struggling with the topic of Riley. He had to watch his Fiancé fall to the ground and crash, and then watch him die right in front of him at the hospital.

The one failure that haunted him forever.

He believed that he didn't fly fast enough to save Riley, which caused the woman asleep in the chair next to him to be completely alone.

Losing her husband in the war, and losing her son in a war as well.

Sam wiped his eyes as he pulled out a necklace from under his shirt. Two wedding bands.

"Forgive me, Riley." He kissed the rings and went back to sleep.

The memories rushed back.