Sanders Sides One-Shots

Heal | Background Intrulogical and Roceit

summary: roman has one memory that he regrets with his entire being. he gets the chance to fix his mistake, but will he take it?

word count: 1359

this is a part 1, i'll finish the second half later :)) btw the fight happens when they're 22, seniors in college, and the present is when they're 29/30 :) yesterday was so much fun, might make some one-shots based on it idk sdkhfksjd

tw/cw// fighting, yelling, sad roman/remus/logan, tears, lil flashback of unsympathetic roman, mentions of ab*se and trauma, abusive ex, that should be it

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Roman didn't have many regrets so far in his life. In the past 29 years of living, there weren't many things to mope about for him, just wishing he'd done better in school or that he'd been nicer to his parents growing up. There was, however, one memory that he regretted big time, one that left a permanent stain on his life everywhere he went.

This memory was the reason family gatherings were awkward, why he constantly needed assurance about his actions from the people around him, why he could never move back to Florida, his fight with his brother Remus and his friend Logan back when they were in college.

He perfectly remembered the chain of events leading up to the fight because of how often he'd gone over them, scolding himself for the mistakes he made. There was a boy named Jack. Jack seemed like a nice enough guy, shy and awkward but still kind when he wanted to be. But they all soon found out that Jack was quite abusive toward Remus when they were dating and had even hurt Logan when the nerd tried to protect his friend and crush at the time. 

They all agreed Jack was a bad person and cut him off immediately. Three years later, at 22, Roman decided it'd be a great idea to go on a date with Jack because he'd "changed" and "wasn't that person anymore."

Remus and Logan took this horribly for apparent reasons and tried to explain to Roman why it was wrong and that he shouldn't see him again. Roman being Roman, took this as a challenge and started an argument with them.

"You guys are overreacting; it was just one date!" Roman yelled frustratedly. "Yes, but Roman, you have to understand that Jack is an excellent manipulator, and before you know it, he could rope you into a toxic relationship as well," Logan said, stern but still holding back to remain calm.

"Roman, you have to understand where we're coming from too. There's a lot of trauma for us when it comes to him-" Remus said, annoyed yet fearful Roman would take it the wrong way.

"Then get over it!" Roman cut him off. "It was years ago; it happened, now move on! Look, I'm sorry he did that to you, and I care. But it's so annoying having you guys bring it up every five seconds. It's my life, and I can take care of myself; stop trying to control me."

"We wouldn't have to if you could actually think for yourself, but it seems that every idea out of your mouth is stupider than the last!" Logan shouted back. 

Roman shook his head to rid his brain of the memory. That argument went on for about an hour, throwing insults at one another before the couple finally left with the promise to leave Roman alone forever. They didn't fail that promise.

The hotheaded twin went on another date with Jack before spotting the multiple red flags Logan had mentioned. He never called him back after then. He always thought Logan and Remus would reconnect with him at some point, but they didn't. Graduation passed, then Logan's promotion at a super prestigious company, Remus's business start-up, their engagement, it all went by without so much as a text or invite.

The only way he kept up with their lives was through Facebook, which they thankfully hadn't blocked him on, and Patton and Virgil, the two friends they still had in common. Roman regretted his college self's choices every day, but there wasn't much he could do about it. 

Pattoncake: Hey! I heard you're in town for a few days, and Leslie Odom Jr is at this cafe for a bit rn. If you're in the area, you can probably make it!

Roman audibly gasped and tugged on his boyfriend Janus's sleeve. "Jan! Leslie's here, just a few blocks away; can we go?" He exclaimed excitedly. Janus chuckled at his antics then checked his phone. "I mean, we can. But I haven't seen anything that says he's here-" Roman ignored him and dragged him along the streets he used to roam as a child. 

Janus was great at reassuring Roman and helping him make the best decisions; it was the main reason the eccentric man fell in love with him. Even though he tried to keep Roman out of trouble or even keep him from believing everything he read online, he'd sometimes indulge in Roman's naturally curious and excitable nature just for the sake of it. 

They stopped as Roman looked around then looked at his phone with a pout. "I think we missed him." Janus smiled and wrapped his arm around his shoulders. "Or he was never here." 

Roman hummed and gasped as he spotted Patton. "Patton should know, come on!"

He tapped on Patton's shoulder, hugging the man tightly as he saw who it was. "So, where's Leslie? I need to see him." Roman rushed as he pulled back. Patton nervously laughed. "About that..."

"Virgil, we were perfectly fine inside; I don't know why you'd insist on-" Roman practically felt the world around him drown out. 'It can't be.' He looked behind Patton, tensing as he confirmed it was, in fact, Logan's voice he'd heard. Logan and Remus, following behind Virgil, complaining about how they'd prefer to be inside right now.

The two looked so much older than Roman remembered; they never posted many pictures after all. Remus had grown a mustache, and Logan wasn't wearing his uptight professional outfit anymore, just a dark blue and orange striped shirt underneath a black denim jacket with dark blue jeans. 

Roman gulped nervously and looked back at Patton. "It was great seeing you, Patt. We have to go." He went to pull Janus along with him but was stopped by a hand on his arm. "Roman, I know this must be scary for you, but you guys need to make up. It's been like five years-" Roman cut over Patton's pleas, trying to keep himself from getting too choked up. "Over five years, I'd prefer to keep it that way."

He tried to leave again but was stopped by Patton once more. "I'm sorry, I know it's hard. But he's your brother, and Logan used to be your best friend. You've spent hours telling me how much you miss them, how much you regret what you did; now's your chance to fix it."

Roman bit his lip and turned to Janus, talking lowly so only his boyfriend could hear. "What do I do?" Janus took hold of his hands and looked into his eyes. "Whatever you want to do, I will support you. It might be a good idea to resolve this issue; I know how much it weighs on you. But I won't force you to do it if you don't want."

The tearful man sighed shakily and nodded, turning back to Patton while gripping Janus's hand. Patton gave him a sympathetic look and a sad smile. 

After getting into a mild, harmless argument with Remus and Logan, Virgil finally approached the three men. The couple seemed to finally notice that Patton was there, letting their faces fall once they saw Roman there as well.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Virgil, what the hell are you doing?" "Trying to fix this. I don't care if you still hate each other after this, but at least you'll have closure." The emo replied. Logan's face remained neutral, much to Roman's dismay, as he seemed to be studying the man up and down.

"He's not wrong. All three of you have constantly brought the fight up for years now, and it's getting stressful to be in the middle of it all." Roman mumbled a shy apology. "So, Virgil and I figured it was time for you all to settle this. Like he said, it doesn't have to end well, just as long as you guys resolve it. And we're in public, so you can't fight." Patton said with a smile that left no room for arguments.

'There's no backing out now. This is it.' Roman thought nervously.

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okay, this is already pretty long, so part 2 later sdhfksj i finished driver's ed but can't get my permit until november :,) yesterday was a ton of fun, so sorry for not posting; part two will be up on tuesday just as planned and, as always, hope you all enjoyed, love you all, stay safe, buh bye!!

8/27/21