Sanders Sides One-Shots

Close | Demus

summary: janus can't seem to click with any of the girls at school, maybe it's because he's looking in all the wrong places

word count: 918

ughh i'm so sorry for not posting lately, everything has been so hard lately and it's like no one's fault but my own but oh well, we're only speaking positiely of ourselves in this household :) (also the progression in this fic is so fast there should be more conflict or whatever but sjdfkjf i'm tired :))

tw/cw// kinda sad/angry janus, that should be it :))

~~~~

Janus slumped beside Remus and his other friends, hearing the eccentric boy snort amusedly. "What's wrong, Laney wasn't 'the one'?" Janus weakly glared at Remus. "No, she wasn't."

"You know, you don't need to find a high school sweetheart, Jan. It's okay to be single," Patton said with a shrug. Janus rolled his eyes. "Okay, but if I don't meet someone right now, the chances of marrying a complete stranger that could be an ax murderer go way up. Virgil agrees with me." Virgil looked up tiredly and shook his head. "I'm not thinking about that this early in the morning, don't bring me into it."

"Just take things slow; maybe the one you're destined to be with is a lot closer than you think," Roman told the upset boy. Janus shrugged, not noticing what Roman was implying; nor did he notice the wide-eyed look Remus sent his twin brother. "What Roman means, Jan, is just to take things slow and don't stress over this too much."

Janus nodded without another word. 

~~~~

Janus sat tiredly as his new girlfriend, Taylor, went on about her favorite music, Sabrina Carpenter, if he remembered correctly. 'I want to listen to her, but she's just so...boring.' Janus thought sadly. "Maybe that's because you'd rather be listening to me speak about the beauty that is Ninja Sex Party." A small chuckle escaped Janus while he nodded. He turned to where he heard Remus's voice, and his face fell when there was no one there.

He scanned the lunchroom, spotting Remus on the other side of the room, in his usual spot. "Are you still listening?" Taylor asked; Janus glanced at her and idly nodded. She kept talking while Janus got lost in thought. "Yap, yap, yap. Does she ever stop talking?"

Janus quickly looked to the side, seeing a ghostly-looking Remus sitting there with a bored expression. His expression quickly shifted into a smug smirk as he glanced at Janus. "Although, you'd love to listen to me talk for hours, wouldn't you? I can see right through you." Janus's face flushed as he stared down at his notebook. "I-I don't know what you're talking about."

Remus hummed. "I remember when your first relationship. You were upset because that girl dumped you; what was her name? Lame-y?" "It was Jaime," Janus said quickly. "Right, Jaime. You came over, and I comforted you like a good friend. Then, you got lost in thought. You wanted to kiss me; you wanted to tell me that you loved me, didn't you? But you didn't; you chickened out. Just so you know, I'm not into wimpy people." Remus teased cruelly.

Janus clenched his hand, trying not to think about what Remus was saying. "So you try to bury it down, right? By getting a new girlfriend every week? Why is that?" Janus glared down at the table. He wasn't angry at the ghost Remus, he was angry at himself. Angry that he can't just accept who he is, who he's in love with.

'Why can't I just be myself?'

Janus's eyes shot open as he breathed heavily. He looked around his dimly lit room, 'It was just a dream.' Janus sighed and grabbed his phone, squinting at the bright light. The digital clock read '3:45 AM', behind it was a selfie of him and Remus.

Janus flopped back onto his pillow with a tired groan. Like the dream showed, he really did care about Remus. It's one thing to date any girl he wants, hoping something will click. It's another thing to be entirely in love with his best friend but refuse to say anything out of the fear of coming out and losing said best friend.

With a heavy sigh, Janus willed sleep to take over him, hoping to avoid his anger for a few hours longer.

~~~~

The next day, Janus watched Remus sitting at the lunch table from his place at the cafeteria entrance. He took a deep breath. 'I can do this. Remus is bisexual so he'll, at the very least, be accepting of me.'

He approached the table, plan running through his head. 'Ask him to talk privately, tell him you're gay, confess your feelings. Simple.'

However, the moment he arrived and Remus looked up at him curiously, the whole plan went out the window. "I think I'm gay and I'm in love with you."

Remus's eyes widened and the friend group awkwardly left to give them some privacy. Janus sat down beside Remus, refusing to make eye contact with him as he mentally scolded himself out of embarrassment. "Um, are you serious?" Janus slowly nodded, still staring down at the table. "Jan, look at me." The overwhelmed boy took in a deep breath and nervously peered up at Remus, who held an amused yet comforting smile.

"Jan, I love you too, but I think we should take this slow." Janus nodded. "I mean, I'm not disagreeing with you but why?" Remus sighed, smile never leaving his face. "Because you just came out to all of our friends and you're shaking; I don't think you're ready to jump into this just yet."

As he looked down at his hands, Janus realized he was, in fact, shaking. "Okay, I'm fine with that."

"How about a hug for now? In time, I'll officially be your boyfriend. But for now, let's make sure you're okay." Janus smiled and pulled Remus into a tight, much needed hug. 

'Maybe the one I'm destined for is closer than I think.'

~~~~

gosh, it's been taking me so long to post lately, i'm so sorry sjhfdkdsj also, a huge conflict (that inspired those vent fics) is kinda gone but it's also still like right there, idk it's really weird sdkhfkj anywho, i hope y'all enjoyed it, i love ya, stay safe,  buh bye!!

10/30/21 (i did zero spoopy fics :( i'm so sad)