17. Saying Goodbye

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"Th-thank you."

I hide my face in Jax's shoulder, so they don't see my lips trembling, or my eyes where the tears are threatening to fall. They all lay their hand on me as they walk by and head to their cars.

"Come on baby let's go."

Jaxon leads me to his car, and we make our way to the church. Once we get there the first people, we see is Kate and Eddie.

"My babies!" Kate strides over and hugs us both.

"Honey let the boys breathe."

Jax whispers in my ear. "I'm telling you I really think she loves you more than me." I chuckle for a moment until I see pictures of my sister by her casket.

"I can't do this." I'm about to turn around but I'm engulfed in a hug by Jax, Kate and Eddie.

"We are all here for you son."

I am so grateful for this family that has considered me their own. If I wasn't with Jax I would be doing this alone, and that scares me even more.

The church fills up with my teammates, Uncle Jack, our family attorney George, her doctor and some nurses. I'm relieved that my parents haven't shown up. I stare at her casket, I don't hear a word the minister is saying. I just stare, Jax nudges me, and I look at him. "Babe, you going to say something?" I see that they are waiting on me.

I walk up to the casket and place my hand on it and take a deep breath. "I love you, Kayla." I walk up and turn to see all the faces. I see my sister's friends and this place is packed. "My sister was the best person I knew and judging by how many people are here you knew it too." I take a deep breath again and I see Jax staring at me with tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Sh-she was loved by all around her." Except for the two people who should have loved her the most. I clench and unclench my hands into fists. "Kayla was the best part of m-me." The tears fall and my body starts shaking. I see Jaxon get up along with his parents and come by my side. Jaxon comes up behind me and wraps his arms around me. Kate and Eddie take a hold of my hands. "It's not fair that she was taken from us at a young age." The door flies open and all color drains from my face.

"She wouldn't have been taken. You killed her!" My good for nothing mother says. I feel Jax tighten his hold on me. I don't know if it was for his sake or mine. "You killed my baby." She brings on the fake tears that no one is buying.

"OUT!" I yell. I let go of Kate and Eddie's hand." You do NOT belong here. This is MY sister's funeral. What the HELL is wrong with YOU!"

"Blasphemy!" She yells out. My Uncle Jack gets up and grabs her arm. "You are making a fool out of yourself Sheila and disrespecting my niece and nephew." She rips her arm out of his hold. "Disrespectful! That thing up there is disrespecting this church."

If I thought she couldn't hurt me anymore she just did. I'm nothing but a thing to her.

She looks at my father and starts shaking. Then she turns back at me. Is it me or does the emotion in her eyes change for a split second? I shake my head because I must be seeing things. She continues on." Disrespecting the church with your lifestyle. You're disgusting."

"That's ENOUGH!" Jax yells and I cry. Not because of my mother, but because this was about saying goodbye to my sister. "You need to leave NOW!" The whole church stands up disgusted by her remarks and glares at her. "If you loved Kayla so much, you would not be doing this not today, not here."

"GO TO HELL!" She says as she storms out of the church.

"I'm sorry everyone. I need a moment."

My Uncle Jack comes up hugs me and takes my place to talk about Kayla. I walk and Jax turns me around. His face wet with tears and I wipe them away. "Don't listen to a damn word she said." he begs me.

"I'm not. I just need a moment." I start to walk off, but he pulls me to him. "I'll go with you Lucas." I shake my head and give him a hug.

"I'll only be a moment Jax. If I'm not back in ten minutes, then come get me." He nods his head and reluctantly let's go of my hand. I walk outside and I regret it the moment I do. As soon as I step foot outside, I get the wind knocked out of me with a punch to the gut. Someone clamps their hand over my mouth as they drag me away from the church.

I start swinging and land a blow somewhere to someone. It's no use they grab my arms and legs and carry me. I twist and turn but they got their grip on me tight. I can't see their faces they all have masks on. Once we are away from the front of the church, they drop me on the ground and start kicking me and punching me.

"You deserve everything that's coming to you fag."

I somehow managed to get up and land some punches but one of them clamps their hand over my mouth again while the other one grabs my arm and twists it. I feel a bone snap and try to yell out from the pain, but voice is muffled.

"He likes it up the ass so much let's show him." He protrudes a big stick out of nowhere and my eyes bulge, as he starts trying to pull my pants down. I squirm and try to escape but one of them stomp on my chest hard.

"I didn't sign up for this. We are only supposed to scare him." One of the guys say.

"Shut up!" The guy with the stick says. "Hold him down. One guy walks off as I struggle to make this stop. My ribs hurt and it's getting harder to breathe. I can't do much with my arm because there is a searing pain. He pulls my pants down and I feel the stick as he whacks me hard with it on my back and my ass. I also feel blood trickling down my face.

What did I do to deserve this? 

"You deserve worse than this queer." Did I say that aloud? " I'm going to shove this so far up your ass, I'll make you bleed." I start shaking for the first time in my life, I am scared shitless. Then I hear his voice.

"Lucas where are you?"

Jaxon!  I want to scream out, but I can't.

"Shit, we got to go!"

The ringleader of this shit show bends down next to me and tilts my chin up. "Next time I won't be so nice. Maybe I will go after pretty boy next."

Over my dead fucking body, you will.

They take off running and I hear Jaxon's frantic voice. "I can't find him. Where did he go?"

I try to speak but I'm so shaken up. I try to move but my body aches everywhere. I cry out in pain, as I land on my arm that is definitely broken.

"I heard him mom... LUCAS!"

Last thing I think of is I didn't get to say goodbye to my sister.

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