THIRD PERSON POV:
"Why are they slicing their palm for blood? Do you have any idea how many nerves are in your hand? Slice your arm, or the back of your leg or something!" Clint shouted at the tv. They were only 15 minutes in and it was already going downhill.
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"It's called center of gravity, sloth your way across that plank. I don't care if you look stupid, it's better than almost dying!" Natasha shouted. "Especially if you're a guy!"
"What does the main character being a guy have to do with how he walks?" Steve asked.
"If you're male, your center of gravity and most of your strength is in your upper body, where women have much more lower body strength, meaning we have a lower center of gravity. Women would be much more likely to survive walking like that." Nat explained.
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"That is a broadsword! Why are you fencing with it!?" Clint shouted. Now they were only half an hour through and Clint and Natasha had interrupted them three times.
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"There is a freaking door right there, why do you keep smashing through the windows?"
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"Chest compressions! Chest compressions! Why aren't you doing chest compressions? Don't shock them, do chest compressions!"
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"Yes Mr Action Hero, I award that running dramatically from the bad guys is important, but you know what else is important? Not getting shot! Run in a fucking zig-zag pattern on the off chance that the bad guys were not coached in marksmanship by the imperial stormtroopers!"
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"Oh hey there hero breaking into any place for any reason? WEAR SOME GLOVES! There's something called fingerprints and you're putting them everywhere!" Natasha yelled. "These guys are incompetent." She whispered.
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"If something fucking huge is falling on you, don't run along the length! Just take two fucking steps to the right!" Bucky shouted.
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"Are you going to comment on them ripping the IVs out?" Tony asked.
"No, I actually do that." Natasha said.
"Same." Clint agreed.
—x—x—x—x—
This was a bit different. Hoped you liked it!
❤️❤️❤️
Chloe
YOU ARE READING
Avengers one-shots!
FanfictionIt's the title. Of course there's enough of these, but I'm trying. Constructive criticism is welcome and so are requests I don't own anything (duh)
