Herophine A tale of two

Chapter 45

As her words hit me I can't help but close my eyes. I feel a crushing weight on my chest.

'I can't, I'm sorry'

What the fuck, I feel like an idiot. I thought after today she would be sure to want this. I had the best time with my girl doing everything couple's do. My mates even gatecrashed but Jo fit in so well with everyone. Watching her joke with my mates made me realise I didn't want her to leave again. I wanted her to be here with me, making a life together and facing anything the future threw our way beside each other. I honestly thought we both felt the same but now, I'm not so sure. I must be a fool, I have fallen head first and can't find a way back and she isn't there with me. She said No. No reason or explanation just No. I need to get out of this room, I need some air away from the embarrassing situation that just unfolded. I'm pissed off but worse than that my ego has taken a hit and I don't know how to deal with. I've never been refused, fuck I've never asked anyone this so I get up and go to my room to process what just happened. I sit on the edge of the bed, waiting to hear footsteps but nothing. She didn't follow me. Does she even care? Is she downstairs now planning an escape from me due to the awkward exchange. Tears form and drop from my eyes. You idiot, you fucking idiot. Embarrassed and crying like a bitch what the hell is happening to me.

The longer I sit, the more angry I become. This is ridiculous hiding up here, especially since she didn't even bother to come and talk about it after I left her in the livingroom. I decide to go down and try to find out where I stand. I mean what's wrong with London, she said she loved it. Why doesn't she want this with me. As I make my way down stairs my thought process chbages and anger boils within me. Fuck this, she didn't care enough to come and talk about her vague reply so I decide to grab my jacket and walk straight out the front door not even checking in on her. As I pace down the pavement my mind is going crazy, I walk to Jack's and when I arrive he let's me in after a few knocks.

'Not a word Jack, just a drink please' I state passing him on my way to his kitchen.

'Sure thing man, a few of us are playing Fifa. You in?' I'm glad he doesn't interrogate me and instantly calm at the idea of forgetting the last few hours. As I pull up a seat and engross myself with the game. When it's my turn the guys grill me for my poor attempts. The alcohol has affected me quicker than usual and I can't seem to make a goal no matter how hard I try. Giving up I throw the controller at Valand in defeat. I wake up so uncomfortable, shit I fell asleep on this chair. I only came here to relax for abit and they left me crashed out in this chair, I scan the room and see Valand on the sofa and Felix on the arm chair. Fuck, I need to get back to my place. What a prick, ai didn't mean to stay out all night. Jo will hit the roof which isn't helping my Plean for her to stay here with me. I grab my stuff from the table, phone, wallet and keys and shove them in my pocket. As I head home I check my phone.

11 Missed calls (Jojo)
1 Missed call (Mom)

✉️ Jo

I instantly open the text, my heart is pounding as my pace quickens to get my ass home pronto.

Hero, this is fucked up. You just left, you left me sat here like an idiot whilst you swan off. You should have spoken to me but instead you bailed.

She's pissed. What did I expect, of course she ism I was out of order for doing that but it wasn't intentional. Not that it helps me any. As I reach the door and rush in I call for Jo whilst checking every room. Where the fuck is she. I run taking to stairs at a time. Bathroom, nope. Bedroom, nope. Spare room, nope. What the fuck. I head back downstairs rechecking. Nothing, where could she be. Dread fulls me at the idea she left. Would she just go. I fall to my knees at the realisation that she came here when I needed her most, she showed up and never gave it a second thought and I fucked up by leaving because my ego was bruised. What. The. Fuck. Hero. I can't blame her, I wouldnt stick around to be treated like a fool but ai genuinely didn't mean to be gone all night. Shit! I call her, after being put straight to voicemail the 6th time I decide to wait and see if she comes back. Maybe she just went for a walk. I race to the bedroom to check for her case. It's gone.

Jo's POV -

I can't believe he left, he walked right past where I was sitting and left. I'm raging at the fact I flew here and he did this to me. After calming myself down, I decide to get a drink and something to eat. Maybe he just needs some time, I did just refuse his offer with no explanation but he should of told me how he felt not hid away and then run off like a spoilt brat. I wait for an hour and hear nothing from him, after the second hour I am starting to get annoyed quickly. Pacing around, I call him. Nothing. I ring and ring but he chooses to ignore me. After the 11th call I decide that this is not acceptable, i won't tolerate being ditched because he didn't get his way so I look up some hotels and order and Uber. I'm not sitting here waiting for him to show, it wouldnt be a good idea now with the mood I'm in. If I saw him I couldn't promise I wouldn't slap his face and that wouldn't help diffuse the situation. As I grab my things I consider leaving a note but talk myself down. He hasn't given me a second thought so why should I. I arrive at the hotel and book a room for the night. As I take my key and enter the room I feel nothing. My emotions are numb, we have only been away from Atlanta for 2 weeks and already this shit is unfolding. Maybe we can't do this, better to find out now then further down the line. Imagine if I lived here and this was how we dealt with anything we came across. It confirms that my response was valid, atleast now I have a reason for declining his offer. I take a shower and shut off my phone. I need to think about what happens next, should I just leave and fly home? Being in London alone isn't as appealing as it was with Hero.

The events from today have worn me out and I nod off whilst watching something on TV. I welcome the sleep and find I have a peaceful night all things considered. When I wake I feel different, I'm not mad just disappointed at how Hero behaved. I wish he had of spoken to me rather than leaving. We could have been waking up together and enjoying another day out seeing the sights and making memories. Instead I am here alone and he is, well I don't have a clue where he is or was. I decide breakfast is a good idea, who knows what today will bring so I go down and enjoy a coffee and full English. I thought I would be a mess this morning but I'm glad that I am still the Jo I was before Hero. I have a toughness in certain situations, you have to in acting you get so many no's you build up a resilience. Or was I acting, covering up how I really feel about all of this. I'm unsure for now but I will take the unbothered option. Beats crying in a hotel room. After breakfast I head to my room and decide to face the music, when my phone powers up I have 6 missed calls from hero and a voicemail.

'Jo, please come back. I am so sorry I acted like a dick to you. I fell asleep at Jack's house after a few drinks and when I got back you was gone. Jo, come back please' he begs on the voicemail. Atleast I know where he was but the fact he ran off to his mates, got drunk and fell asleep irrates me. Didn't he learn anything from what happened before. Fucking idiot I think silently. As I think over what to do next I take my time wandering around the room. Should I just go back and talk about it? Why should I, I didn't do anything wrong apart from refuse his offer? Do I want to try and work this out? My thoughts come fast as I sift through to process them, I don't know if this is worth all the headache it seems to be causing. I have had so many emotions since meeting him. Some have engulfed me and completely taken over. I have felt passion, love, excitment, dissapointment, hurt, loss, lust, contentment all sorts. Was this roll coaster really worth the ride?

I decide to go and explore some more of London, maybe the answer will become apparent if I am outside and get get my thoughts together. As I head outside I walk and walk taking in the be scenery as I go. He can stew a little longer I smirk to myself.