The Moments In-Between - A JeongHyo fanfic

Chapter 37 - Moment of Confession

It all happened so fast.

Jeongyeon and Jihyo were alone in their dressing room with the door closed, although, Jeongyeon could hear some of her co-members walking outside of the dressing room, talking to each other in the hallway. She heard Nayeon whining how she missed Blackpink's debut due to Twice's radio interview being longer than originally planned while Mina tried to comfort her. She heard Momo and Chaeyoung running around, stomping their feet and Jeongyeon guessed they were tickling each other again, due to their high screams of laughter. Soon no one was behind the door anymore, at least that's what Jeongyeon thought.

But all of that kind of blurred out in this moment while she was talking with Jihyo.

Jeongyeon was calm that morning and during the day in general, but all of a sudden, during the interview, she just felt like she couldn't take it anymore.

All the years of pent up emotions, all of the past months of those same emotions building up even further, mixed with Jihyo's behavior where they snuggle up next to each other, watch a movie, compliment each other and then ALL of that mixed with Jihyo saying that Jeongyeon would be a perfect girlfriend along with the fact that according to Jihyo anyone would be happy to be with Jeongyeon?

Yeah, no, it was putting a bigger strain on her than she thought it would and Jeongyeon was at a breaking point.

Jihyo, being the gentle type, wanted to comfort Jeongyeon and be there for her as she asked her why Jeongyeon was feeling upset after the interview, but Jeongyeon just felt like she was being harshly exposed in front of the world. And this even angered Jeongyeon.

The fact that Jihyo was being so gentle again, so nurturing, and here Jeongyeon was, angry at herself and just angry in general - all of that made Jeongyeon sink deeper into herself as she talked with Jihyo.

"Well... Can you please help me at least? I... It pains me to see you this way... You really seem angry..."

Even Jihyo's soft voice had so much care towards Jeongyeon. She just wanted to know if she could help. Jeongyeon felt like closing in again. She felt like crying.

"No, it really is stupid... And the fact that your leader role puts you in "mommy mode" makes it even harder to admit..."

And there, she said it. She had something to admit.

And now there was just a matter of time before Jihyo peeled off all the layers and Jeongyeon would just have to confess.

Jeongyeon felt so exposed. So vulnerable. So hurt from the inside that things were going to happen this way. She didn't want them to, but she couldn't help it anymore. She felt like she was gasping for air and this would be the only time she could breathe properly.

She didn't think about her promise that she made to herself. About how she wouldn't make this whole discussion a "possessive type of thing". She didn't think about what Jihyo needed in that moment. She couldn't anymore.

For once, and for the first time in a long time, Jeongyeon could only think about herself.

About survival.

She knew what Jihyo had said about dating - she has no time, she has no "focus" to do it. She would rather focus on the group.

Jeongyeon also knew that Jihyo is currently hurting now in regards to the whole "commitment thing" since her concept of love was reflective of her parents' relationship.

It stung her. It stung Jeongyeon as well.

But Jeongyeon just couldn't think about that anymore.

Time slowed down just a little bit. Just a tiny, little bit for this exchange.

"Clue?" I have no idea what's making you so angry... One minute the group was happy... Then we went to an interview, we joked around with each other... and after that you've been mad... Not even at us, or even at me specifically, now that I think about it... You've just been mad" Jihyo spoke. 

Jeongyeon could feel the pain in Jihyo's voice. She was hurting seeing her this way, and that made Jeongyeon feel even worse. However, Jeongyeon felt like another layer was peeled off of her and she spoke, raising her voice just a tiny bit to make a difference:

"Oh, you're getting awfully warm with that interview... Do you remember what we joked about when it came to me?"

And this was basically it.

If Jeongyeon and Jihyo were playing chess, this would basically be Jeongyeon setting Jihyo up so that she could checkmate her. It felt like Jeongyeon just wanted to "lose".

Jihyo was unsure what Jeongyeon wanted to hear as a response to her question, but she soldiered on:

"Uh... I don't know, probably that you're the nation's girlcrush or-"

"Exactly!" Jeongyeon interrupted her. It felt like she was about to jump out of her skin.

"Exactly what?" Jihyo was confused.

"What you just said!" Jeongyeon was basically shouting at this point, but realized her voice went up, so she calmed down. Jihyo just asked:

"Girlcrush?"

"Yes..." Jeongyeon said in a shy tone of voice. She felt like she overstepped a line with her previous shouting. However, Jihyo's next question just gave her a reason to shout again. Jihyo asked:

"What part of that made you angry?"

"THE PART THAT I DON'T WANT TO BE ANYONE'S GIRLCRUSH EXCEPT YOURS!"

Jeongyeon immediately covered her mouth with her hand and then in an even faster motion turned around, opened the door and ran out, holding her face in her hands.

She didn't even see Jihyo's reaction beyond Jihyo slightly opening her mouth and widening her eyes to the confession.

And there it happened, Jeongyeon admitted to Jihyo. She ran out of the room and Jihyo followed immediately.