Time

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A/N: This will be in Kakashi's POV, starting from 2 months ago, the night Y/n and Iruka make things official. It's kind of a short chapter, my apologies. But, it's an important one.

-LHatake ❤️
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Kakashi POV

Just the night before, I left her sleeping soundly in her apartment, that I had paid for. I paid for it hoping that she'd move back at some point. I knew she hated it, and hated me, but I had to hold on to some kind of hope she'd come back. When I heard she was sleeping at the ANBU barracks, I held out some hope she would move back.

Earlier this week, Anko made sure I heard the rumor Y/n had slept with Kankuro. At first, I doubted Anko's words, but the longer I thought about it, the more it sounded like the truth. The way she was flirting with him in Suna, the way he looked at her in her kimono.

I had taken time to follow the four one day, observing his demeanor as well as hers. The way he watched her was maddening to me. She acted no differently, but that didn't mean anything, she was a walking statue most of the time. Always putting up a front, always pretending everything is okay. She's no different than me.

Now, I stand behind her, watching Iruka kiss her temple. His eyes held mine, he was standing his ground. He was claiming her. I lost a battle I never agreed to fight. A battle I wanted to avoid at all costs. Though the words would never pass my lips, in my heart, I knew how I felt, and I knew I had lost her forever.

Iruka was best for her anyway, he would never hurt her. He would protect her in every possible way, including from me. I bit down on the anger that surged through me, thinking of him holding her, making love to her. Once I had gained my composure, I turned and left, knowing she had felt my presence.

I was a fool, but it was my own fault. If I had said something all those years ago, things could've been different. If I had told Hiruzen the truth when he asked me why I requested to be removed from her detail, maybe he wouldn't have asked for her to leave with Jirayia. If I had told Jirayia the truth, admitting how I longed to see her, and hold her again, maybe he would've made her come home. Told him how I ached to kiss her, even if it was just once, just to know the feel of her lips against mine.

Her lips. I lay here frustrated and kicking myself, trying to not drown myself in sake like I had before. Her lips were like silk to my rough ones, fitting perfectly against mine. Everything about her fit perfectly with me. Her body curved to fit mine when I held her to me. When I hugged her, she was tucked into me, shielding her from the harsh world around us. When the walls of her perfect, hot and wet pussy clenched around me as she came- ugh. I groaned.

Her body was a map to her hardships, new and old. I wanted to leave the lights on, just once even, in order to kiss every single scar that graced her soft flesh. When her hands ran over my body, I shivered with need. Her thumb as it traced my scar from a day that changed my life forever, it was something I wanted to experience every day.

Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. Two months since I had seen her. Two months since her and Iruka has started dating. Over those two months, every time I slept with a woman, I had to drink until I could see Y/n laying with me. Even still, my mask remained on, I refused to kiss another woman at all.

I saw her walking through the streets, laughing and giggling with Kurenai as Asuma and Iruka trailed behind them. Her hair seemed even longer, the h/c locks flowing behind her. She glanced back to Iruka and smiled softly, her eyes twinkled just slightly. I could tell she was happy, but I could also tell she wanted more. I couldn't give her either though.

I sighed, I needed to talk to her, I wanted to see her up close. It's wrong, I shouldn't do this. I knew where they were going, I would go later. I made my way to get some ramen, hoping for some quiet. I set in the stall and waited patiently.

"Kashi-kun?" Dammit. I couldn't get so lucky. "I haven't seen you in weeks it feels like."

"I've been busy." I mumbled.

"You seem free tonight." The civilian woman, who's name slipped my mind, smirked before me.

"I'm eating."

"Afterwards?" She hinted.

"Going home." She smirked again, thinking it was an invitation, "Alone." I drew.

"Kashi-kun." She wrapped her arms around me and snuggled into my neck.

"Off." I growled.

"Here, Kakashi-san." Ayame's voice broke through the tension as the woman moved off of me.

"Fine." She said as she stepped away, "Don't come looking for me again."

That wouldn't be an issue. I didn't respond and I didn't speak again as I quickly ate my meal. I paid for my meal and started across the way, the door of the bar in view, I hesitated. I probably shouldn't do this, it's not fair to her, or to Iruka. It would hurt seeing her with him, but I needed to see her.

The moment both feet were in the bar, her laugh filled my ears. My dark eye found her immediately, softening at seeing her smiling face. She seemed happy, she really did, but I could still see the mask she had on. It was too much like my own for me to not see it. I made my way to the bar, on the opposite side of the room. I could still see her, but it wouldn't seem as though I followed her here.

I watched casually, trying to not feel the ache of jealousy as I saw Iruka brush the hair from her face as he leaned in to kiss her. The blush on her cheeks as he whispered into her ear. The shine in her eyes as she laughed at something he said. Her e/c eyes sparkled slightly as she excused herself, I wasn't sure if she was about to cry, or if I just never truly saw her this happy before.

I snaked my way to the hallway, deciding if I was going to really do this. I made my way out the back door, trying to talk myself out of it. In the end, I made a clone, deciding that if she decked me, it wouldn't hurt this way. My clone slipped inside and broke into the bathroom.

She was washing her hands, her hair tucked behind her ears, it had grown longer. She never looked up as she spoke, "Breaking into the women's bathroom these days?" Her tone was flat and uninterested.

"You really are in a relationship with him?" I could clearly see that, I just had to hear her say it. Say that she didn't need me anymore, that she didn't think of me anymore.

Her eyes caught mine in the reflection of the mirror and I my breath caught. Kami, she's so beautiful. "Yes." She seemed unsure of the word as it came from her mouth.

"Does he make you happy?"

She didn't hesitate as she said the words, "He doesn't make me cry." I noticed how her voice cracked and her eyes became glassy.

"I just want you happy." The moment I said the words, my clone vanished.

It's time I left her alone. It's time I moved on as she had. It's time I allowed her to be happy. That's all I ever wanted, her to be happy. She deserved so much more than me, she deserved the world, and I surly couldn't offer her that. Iruka was a much better man than me, and he would try and give her the world, even if it killed him.

Time. It was time to face reality. The woman I loved and cherished had moved on. The woman I desired in every way, was falling in love with another man. The woman that my heart ached for, thoughts lingered on and body yearned for, was being held by someone else.

Time. It was time to forget.

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