★·.·'¯'·.·★ sᏢᎪᏒᏦs fᏞᎽᎥᏁᎶ ᎥᏁ ᏞᎥmᎪ★·.·'¯'·.·★

The Quarterback 5x03

This isn't happening, he was just next to me a day ago. Laughing about baby names and our future wedding. He can't be gone

I pull myself together and put on the black dress I got from my side of the closet. Not the side with all of his things. I've been avoiding that side. 

The lace embellished dress feels uncomfortable. I can't tell if it's the fabric or the event I have to wear it for, but all I want is to get out of it.

Memories flush through my mind as I see his red letterman jacket hanging on the knob of the bed post in the corner of our room. Well, now it's just my room.

Burt and Carole are already at the high school where there's a ceremony happening. Too bad I didn't rush to get ready, or else I would already be there instead of driving all by myself.

When I get to the school, there's cars flooding the parking lot. Looks like there's a good attendance for a great person.

The auditorium is packed which makes me wanna throw up. I head to the choir room where everyone is supposed to meet and I get sympathy hugs from each glee club member in attendance.

"Alright guys, let's go out there" I whisper, not wanting to dwell in the room that I fell in love with him.

We get on stage and everyone goes dead silent. 

Brad starts the piano to one of the biggest songs of Broadway history:

Seasons Of Love.

I fight back the tears that are threatening to roll down my cheek any second, but it's too late. The waterworks have broke. My face is wet, and bright red.

Still, I keep singing but once the song's over. I get in my car and head to the church for the real ceremony.

I realize I'm all alone in the chapel, just me and Finn's casket. I find myself talking to him.

"We were just on the phone Finn" I tear up. "I just can't believe it's been seven whole days, I just wanna see your face" I start breaking down.

The funeral's beautiful, we really honored Finn. But the next few weeks are even harder.

Mr. Schue has decided to have a week dedicated to Finn, to celebrate his life. This is my first time coming into the place we met since the day before he died.

I work up the courage to come in on Monday to celebrate him. I walk by his old locker where there's a display of candles, little notes and stuffed animals lined up against the steel.

I sit back in my old seat, where I used to sit next to Finn everyday back in high school, in the choir room. Quinn to my right, holding my hand. 

Pretty much everyone showed up for this. Puck, Santana, Rachel, Quinn, Mike, Mercedes, and the others are already here because they haven't graduated yet.

"The funeral was for everyone, but I wanted to do something special to remember him just for us" Mr. Schue says. "So, over the course of the week, if there's a song that he sang or something that reminds you of him, just come on up and we'll cope the only way we know how. By singing" 

"Singing's not gonna bring him back" Puck says.

"no, but for 2 minutes, he'll be with you." Mr. Schue responds.

Mercedes gets up "I can't wait any longer Mr. Schue, if I don't get this out now, I don't think I'll ever be able to" She gets up and sings I'll Stand By You which I remember Finn sang for Quinn's unborn baby.

She finishes the performance and I just have to break out of the room, going to the bathroom and just standing there, in the mirror, watching myself. Wondering what to even do with my life because it seems like life just is out to get me at this point.