Isn't She Lovely -h.s-

Isn't She Lovely - Chapter 35

Sarah’s POV

Everything added up now, and it wasn’t what I expected.  I sat there unable to move  or even speak, everything was out in the open and yet it didn’t change a thing.   It Didn’t matter why I left tat hotel room or what Harry was actually doing because either way we were sitting her today two completely different people.  I did however leave that night completely resenting Harry but now I could let go of the resentment  along with Harry -- the story was over now he could leave. 

“ So what do you have to say for yourself?” Harry replied smugly 

“ Leave” I didn’t even look up at him.

“ What?”

“ Leave” I just stated the simple word again. 

“ You are only saying that  because it turns out that this is all your fault, there was no whore and I am not a cheating bastard  or a jerk.  In fact I am not a bad guy Sarah which is why I gave you  a chance to explain the whole story before I jumped to conclusions and I’m not a bad guy because I am willing to work this out.”

“ Leave” I paused as everyone looked at me in shock. “ Yes you all heard me right! I want you guys to leave, I had fun reliving the past but  this is the present so leave!”  I screamed, yet no one moved. 

“ Don’t we get to work this out?” Harry asked and I didn’t answer. “ I explained everything and I did nothing wrong. You left me  and never talked to me again for no reason and now that you realize you were wrong you still don’t want to work things out?” Harry shouted, this time everyone got up and left the room. 

“ It doesn’t change anything Harry. No matter what happened that night we still aren’t together and we are completely different people now.  I am no  longer that sweet Sarah that puts up with Harry’s bullshit because ‘ I  love him’ and you aren’t that charmer that found his true love, you even admitted it in your interview ‘ Harry styles doesn’t believe in love’ and you said singing Isn’t She Lovely at your auditions meant nothing to you!” I finally gasped for air.

“ I said that in the interview cause that’s what I tell myself. I say I wasn’t in love with you and that you didn’t break my heart because if I told everyone then I would have to face the fact that the girl I was completely in love left me and I would never see her again…at least that’s what I thought till today.  And did you ever think that I didn’t share the Isn’t She Lovely thing  because it meant so much more to me then just a press release? Huh?  Or are you just going to jump to conclusions again?” he spitted

“ Whatever Harry I am done. I didn’t ask for o you to come back into my life” I started to tear up.

“ That’s the difference between us Sarah. I prayed for you to come back into mine every night, even if we could just be friends, just friends…” it seemed like he was begging but he looked pathetic.  Even though he looked pathetic I felt pathetic, if I hadn’t jumped to conclusions back then, then maybe everything would be different. Then again we were better off now than we were before.

“ You are pathetic Harry” I said how I felt about myself to him.

“ How am I pathetic? You the one who caused all this”

“ Exactly, no matter how close we would ever became after this you would play the blame game and I am not prepared for another  emotional roller coaster!”

“ We can just be friends!”

“ We can’t”

“ Why?”

“ Because to much has changed Harry, your life may be perfect but mine is far from it and I would prefer to keep anymore drama out of it. I was fine with out you and you were fine without me so we can be fine without each other.  I don’t need you Harry, in fact I don’t want you” 

“ I guess that’s it then” he looked hurt but the other pert of him was angry

“ I’m sorry Harry but I didn’t ask you to come chase me down from that signing, I never asked  you to be in my life, I never asked you to take singing lessons with my mom, I never asked to become best friends with you, I never asked to be in love with you,  I never asked to move in with you and I never asked for anything of this! Okay? But now I am asking you to leave and please don’t come back.” That’s it that’s the last words I said to Harry  before he quietly left the room not exchanging anymore words with me.  Him and his band mates left without so much as a goodbye and although I may seem heartless, I did secretly miss them.   I wanted to run into all of their arms and tell them how much  they meant to me, heck I wanted to tell Harry I was still in love with him but I couldn’t, things were just to complicated. 

A little while  after the boys left Shawna slowly made her way back into the kitchen.  She looked at my sympathetically but I could tell she had something to say, when doesn’t that girl have something to say.

“ Serena? I mean Sarah? I don’t know what I should call you”

“ I don’t know either” I  started to cry  a bit. “ You should probably just call me Serena,  I am not part of my past anymore”

“ But you want to be”

“ I don’t want to be, I just wish my past didn’t exist”

“  You  don’t mean that. I may have not known your true life but I have gotten to know you so well and I can tell you loved Harry. I can tell you still love Harry, the way you talked about him in your stories  there was just so much passion and a twinkle in your eye.” She  smiled.

“ Like I told Harry, it’s different now”

“ What’s so different? You are still the same girl that  loves all those things you did back then, did you even bother to tell Harry about Julliard? I never knew you played because of your mum but that doesn’t change anything. You are still the same girl”

“ I just…I can’t” I started crying. 

“ Serena, you can tell me what’s wrong, I am still your best friend”  She comforted me 

“ I am just afraid to fall in love again”  Part of that was the truth.

“ You have been lying to me our whole friendship, I think it’s time you start with something that’s the truth.  You aren’t afraid of  your heart getting broken so what is it?” 

“ There is more issues  then just that night between Harry  and I, except he has no idea.  No one will understand it and it will just ruin things even more. I rather him leave thinking I hate him then him leave hating me. “

“ I think I know what it is, I knew something in that story didn’t add up” She rubbed my back. “ No matter what , it’s going to be okay.”  

Did she really know exactly what I was talking about, did I make it to obvious  when I was re-telling the past. I tried  to stay away from the whole topic in general.  I couldn’t bare living if Harry found out, he’d hate me.  If anyone  found out they’d probably hate me, after all I have been hiding  this  from everyone.   I couldn’t help  but  feel sick as I sat in the kitchen with  Shawna and the elephant in the room taking all the air.

Just as I opened my mouth to tell Shawna  my secret ,  the elephant himself came running through the front door --Robby

A/N: I am sorry it's short and mainly just dialogue but I tried writing if different ways and I liked this way the best.  Don't worry there is still  more to come in this story. I figure it will be aourn 40-42 chapters long. 

The dedication is for finding  one of the few hints I gave you about Sarah's secret. A lot of you already guessed it but this person pointed out hints a left along the way. 

Thanks so much for reading, it means the absolute world to me!! Please  VOTE AND !! :)xx