Glee: To the Next Level (the second book in the Glee series)

Chapter 36: King of Laziness

When Amity walked into the choir room, with Alex by her side, her ears automatically buzzed with the usual New Directions rumble that filled the room anytime anyone shared what was considered "big news."

"What's going on?" Alex asked John as they did their usual 'bro' shake. He felt as though he had shouted his question, but John still didn't hear him, so he just shook his head and took a seat next to Amity. In. The. Front. Row.

"Yes, yes, yes!" Joe said, calming everyone down. "The rumors are true. The dance will in fact be this Friday and it is a Decades Dance."

The room errupted again, this time with the girls being excited and the guys groaning and complaining. "Why are you doing this to us?" asked Rory. "Regular dances are painful enough. Now we have to wear costumes?"

"Yeah, we're lazy," said Jake. "We don't want to have to think hard about this. Or think at all."

"Exactly," Joe agreed. "Which is why John suggested the theme!"

"You did, babe?" Kitty said, turning to John with a smile. John nodded nonchalantly and stood up.

"Yeah," said John. "Umm, so here's the thing guys. I don't think there's anyone lazier than me in the room. Possibly in the planet. So I thought, well, what's a theme that will allow me to just show up in whatever I'm wearing when I forget that there's a dance and Kitty's texting... Oh, I mean, whoever I ask... is texting me and bugging me because I'm not there so I have to dash over to the school last minute? Easy answer. A decade's dance. Think about it. For those of you who want to go all out, Unique, Bree, umm... Ryder... You can choose something flashy like the 20s. If you want to wear things you already own and look like you dressed in the dark... Julie... Then you can just go with something like the 80s. And if you're the laziest person here, aka me, then there's the 90s. So that's the idea behind this dance."

"Do we have to do that thing from last year where we sing to whoever we're asking?" asked Sugar.

"Do our dates have to match decades with us?" asked Shana.

"Why do you assume you're the laziest in here?" Jake asked. John glanced at him.

"It's not an assumption," he told him. "There is no doubt in my mind that I am the laziest person here."

Jake stood up defiantly. "I don't think so," he said.

"Are they really fighting over who's lazier..?" Shana said, confused but also entertained. 

"What's going on?" asked Will as he walked in, late as usual.

"Boys fighting," said Bree, seeming incredibly bored as she summed up the current situation.

Will chuckled. "Fantastic," he said.

"How is that fantastic?" Joe asked.

"We can have our first ever male diva-off," said Will, grinning as he indicated for Jake to join John up front. Joe took his usual seat in the back row and Jake headed to the front.

"Can we call it like... a dude-off... or something though?" said Jake.

"That's not any better," John muttered.

"Alright," said Will, ignoring them. "So what's the argument? A solo? A girl? Sports?"

"They each think he is the laziest person in the room," Marley told him.

"Ok, then--" said Will, stopping mid-sentence. "Really?" Everyone nodded and John shrugged as Jake rolled his eyes.

"Mr. Schue," Jake said. "You've known me for a really long time. I'm sure you can settle this once and for all, tell everyone I'm lazier, and that way we won't have to sing a song."