To Hell and Back

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Qing's Tape 7, Side B

Dra.Yen: (sounding worried) What happened?

Qing: My father learned of my affair with Dayu.

Dra.Yen: (gasping) Is that why you requested an emergency session? How?

Qing: Yes. They just found out. And he got mad.

Dra.Yen: (sounding concern) Why? Because you are having an affair with another man? Or because it's with your stepbrother?

Qing: Because I said I love Dayu yet I am marrying Kim. Baba doesn't like that I will marry for convenience and not love.

Dra.Yen: Your father is correct.

Qing: Wow, from concern for me to my father is right. That fast?

Dra.Yen: It's because we love you and we want you to be happy. Even if you are the most logical person in the world Qing, you will still be unhappy in that kind of marriage. Now, if Dayu is not around, it might be a different story...

Qing: Yes, he changed everything. If Dayu is not around, this plan with Ato and Kim would have worked.

Dra.Yen: Do you want him gone?

Qing: (instantly) (behemently) No!

Dra.Yen: Then deal with it. Dayu is here. You love him. He is here to stay. What will you do?

Qing: I cannot back out of my deal with Kim and Ato. This is the only way to help Kim get away from her parents. Plus GrandPa had been waiting for this alliance for so long. He will be disappointed if it fall through.

Dra.Yen: Excuses. Why do you really want this marriage to push through?

Silence.

Qing: It will open the door of my dream to have a political career.

Dra.Yen: Now, that is more like it. You will benefit on this marriage. Is your dream really important?

Qing: I don't know. I don't know anymore. (Silent for a momenr) Baba is taking Maman and Dayu out of the country. To the US.

Dra.Yen: And what do you feel about that?

Qing: Angry. He is taking away my lover. Relieved. He is taking away Dayu so they won't witness me getting married to another.

Dra.Yen: Conflicted.

Qing: Yes. But I plan to follow Dayu. Of course...

Dra.Yen: Of course.

Qing: I love him.

Dra.Yen: I know.

Qing: He makes me feel. So many things.

Dra.Yen: Yes, I am aware.

Qing: (sounding tortured) Then why am I hurting him? What am I doing really? Why is it so hard?

Dra.Yen: Do you want to hear my theory about this?

Qing: Sure. Give it to me. At this point, I cannot even think clear for myself.

Dra.Yen: (sighing) It's hard to choose because I think you are in a transition period Qing.

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