Bed Partners

Luck

Qing's Tape 3, Side A

Dra.Yen: You watched a political rally and you saw your mother.

Qing: One day, I will need to know who your spy is.

Dra.Yen: I can tell who it is now. If you want.

Qing: No, don't tell me. The mystery will be lost. And yes, I saw my mother last night on TV.

Dra.Yen: What do you feel when you saw her?

Qing: Should I feel something for her?

Dra.Yen: She is your mother.

Qing: Yes, but I live with my Baba. And I don't know her. What can I feel for a person I don't know? I am having a hard time feeling for those I know.

Dra.Yen: I don't know if I should feel glad or sad that you don't feel anything for your mother. When she left, you were ten. What did you felt when she went away?

Qing: Relieved. She and Baba were always fighting. I sometimes can't concentrate on my school work because of her complaints and their fights.

Dra.Yen: You don't miss her?

Qing: And her constant complaining? No. Why would I miss that? The house got plenty quiet when she finally left. I know how to be grateful though. Because when Baba gave Mama what she wants, money for me, she left me to Baba. I don't think I can survive living with her.

Dra.Yen: That is a good thing then. You know how to be grateful. That's a feeling.

Qing: Yeah. I know.

Dra.Yen: Are you being sarcastic on me?

Qing: Yes.

Dra.Yen: (laughing) Ah I really like you, Wang Qing. You are like a son I never have and wish will never have.

Qing: And you are not bad yourself. Another ten years in school would have been beneficial for you but you are pretty decent now.

Dra.Yen: You won't give me a break right?

Qing: We are not here to give each other breaks. We are here to cure me.

Dra.Yen: But you are not sick. You are fine. A bit too logical. Maybe cynical and absolutely sarcastic, but you are fine.

Qing: Thanks, I guess.

Dra.Yen: Let's talk about your father. You love him?

Qing: I don't know.

Dra.Yen: But you said you are grateful to him.

Qing: Yes. But I am also grateful at the farmers who plant rice so I can eat them. That doesn't mean I love them all.

Dra.Yen: (sighing) You...

Qing: Should I love him because he is my father? Because we share blood? Because he fought for my custody? I don't know about all that. Baba...he works a lot. And I understand that. That's his life, he should spend it the way he wants to. I have my life.

Dra.Yen: But you are growing up without him by your side because he is constantly working.

Qing: I don't...we usually dine together at breakfast. Baba ask about my day at school yesterday. We will share the newspaper. I have to settle on sports because he always hog the business section first. But that is fine, I am a bit interested in sports too. Baba and I spend time together. We are fine.

Dra.Yen: Do you want more time with him?

Qing: Maybe. I don't know. Probably.

Dra.Yen: If I ask you to tell your father that you want to spend more time with him. Can you do it?