My Boss is a Freak (Published under Pop Fiction)

34: Vren

"Hey, Mira! Where are you going?" The thick crowd made it hard for me to catch up with her. "Stop running away from me! Saan ka pupunta? Hey!"

"Pupunta ako sa North Pole. Sasama ka?" I heard her yell back at me. Some people who I didn't even realize were watching us chuckled. I wanted to tell them to fuck off, but I was too busy chasing Mira.

"Mira, quit running away from me, or else —"

Or else what, Vren? Quick, think of something before Mira gets out of sight!

"Stop running or I'm not gonna buy you that stupid wizard stuff toy!"

I cursed myself for the lame threat, but it's the first thing that came to my mind. Kanina, itinuro ni Mira ang isang malaking Eldar plush bilang gusto niyang souvenir, kaya lang ay hindi muna namin ito binili dahil busy kami sa pagta-try sa iba't ibang rides.

Like I said, my threat was lame as fuck, kaya naman hindi ko inaasahan na mapapatigil nito sa paglalakad si Mira. She must've wanted that stuff toy badly to be scared of what I said. Childish, childish creature.

I almost flashed a triumphant grin but I faltered when Mira glowered at me and yelled, "Eh 'di wag! Pero 'wag ka ring umasa na makikita mo pa ang susi ng kotse mo!"

I cursed. "Hey, wait! Okay, Mira, listen. I'm gonna buy you the biggest Eldar stuff toy in the souvenir shop, you give me back my car keys, and we'll head back home together. Deal?"

"Deal your face, Vren Andrei Montevilla!" Lalo niya akong pinandilatan. "Makakauwi ako nang mag-isa!"

I gulped. Last resort, Vren. Just say it. Even if you have to throw up later.

"Please, Mira. I'm... I'm sorry. About being an asshole to that friend of yours. Hindi na mauulit. I promise. Now, can you quit running away from me? Ihahatid na kita pauwi, after we buy that stuff toy."

There, I said it. Even if apologizing was not my thing.

Mira must've sensed the exact thing because she gave me a surprised look and said, "Ano ulit ang sabi mo?"

"Ihahatid kita pauwi. But we're gonna buy that stuff toy," I said, breathless from our chasing game.

"Hindi, 'yong isa..."

I sighed. "You already heard it, Mira. Please don't make me repeat it again. Saying it once was hard enough."

"Psssh." She rolled her eyes. "Marunong ka naman palang manghingi ng pasensya, eh. Walang mawawala sa'yo kapag nag-sorry ka, Mr. Montevilla. Apologizing is not a sign of weakness; in fact, it takes a great deal of courage to do so."

I closed my eyes. "Saying sorry just doesn't occur naturally to me."

Mira shook her head. "Then I guess it's high time I teach you how to."

****

It took Mira such a short time to fall asleep during our ride home. If anything, ang pagsigaw niya kanina ang pinakanakapagpapagod sa kanya.

Hugging her wizard stuff toy, she rested her head against the glass window of the passenger seat. She looked so peaceful, like an angel, with her eyes closed. Malaya akong titigan siya ngayong nakatigil ang kotse dahil sa red light.

Before what happened earlier, there had been only one incident of me apologizing to another person — a rather unpleasant memory I couldn't help but remember because of Mira.

And as if fate was mocking me, the song I associate with that person started playing from my car's stereo.

'Coz I love her with all that I am
And my voice shakes along with my hands
Yes, she's all that I see and she's all that I need
And I'm out of my league once again

Pero ang ipinagtataka ko lang ngayon, kung dati ay halos isumpa ko ang kantang 'to, ngayon ay wala akong maramdaman ni kahit katiting na sakit habang pinapakinggan ko ito. "Out of My League" by Stephen Speaks was the song I used to dedicate to the only woman I loved — who left me and, in turn, made me the miserable person I am now.

But now, I admit, there's another person that's making me feel out of my league.

Today had been the best day of my life, true. It's been forever since I enjoyed this much. But I couldn't help being scared as shit because all this time, I am getting more and more aware of this feeling, this emotion Mira is giving me.

Call me a coward, but I'm an expert at being left without any apparent reason. It hurts like hell to love someone deeply only to lose that person eventually. 'Yong tao na minahal mo nang higit pa sa sarili mo, bigla ka na lang iiwan? Fucking painful, I tell you.

Am I being bitter? No, I'm just being cautious. A spark can turn to fire, and fire is deadly.

That's why it's better to kill this flicker of affection I'm feeling towards Mira, before it gets too late.