Six of Crows One-shots

Without armor

Kaz had waited for Inej's return. He had waited six months and then she returned for a week and he had to wait a whole year. It was impossible, he couldn't keep up with the struggle, without her there he was annoyed and frustrated. Her realized how much he truly wanted Inej, more than he feared losing her, more than he feared skin contact. He went over how irrational his skin aversion was over and over again. His hands yearned for hers against them again, the warmth sinking in.

Kaz felt like sometimes the only person in the world who truly understood him was Inej. He wouldn't have to say a word and a whole conversation could arose within the silence, but he knew that if he kept up his silence, she would leave. It was after all her own words, "I will have you without your armor, or not at all." He shivered in remembrance. Yes, he decided. Now he would let her in, he would allow her to help him heal, after all, there was nothing else he could do now. Pekka was gone, what more was there to his tale? He would still have to watch his back and still had many enemies but there was no longer any need to be here, the only pull factor had left. He only had one pull factor now, his family here.

A soft sigh escaped his lips. He was suppose to be doing documents but he just didn't have the time nor patience lately to do it. "I didn't expect you to fall behind on paperwork while I was gone." He forced himself not to jump at the sudden voice. "I didn't fall behind, I was busy with other things." Which was a complete lie, unless he meant he was busy figuring out how to workout his relationship with her that is.

"Something on your mind Kaz?" Inej asked curiously, sitting herself on one of the abandoned chairs in his office. "Everything." Kaz huffed without realizing the words escaped him. "Your going to have to be a bit more specific Kaz." Inej smirked at him, he kept his head down not wanting to look her in the eyes for fear all the words he held in might tumble loose. This, was a delicate matter, a lock to be picked, a precise time and the precise words.

"There's to much of it to simply specify Inej." Kaz muttered finally looking up at her when he felt he had the strength to. As usual she was as beautiful and saintly as ever, light brown skin dazzling in the dying sunlight, oak wood brown eyes full of a light Kaz would have otherwise never known. "Hm, how about we go for a coffee run then, and you can gather up your thoughts?" Inej asked, Kaz looked around at his desk, at the mountains of paper that needed to be done... and the Wraith in the room that wouldn't wait for him. "To hell with paperwork... let's go." Kaz grumbled, snapping up his cane and placing his hat on his head, dipping the rim low so it shadowed his eyes.

They walked side by side, Kaz's cane tapping upon the ground at a constant pace. Inej's hand stole Kaz's from his side, he let her run her hand across the leather, then look up at him quickly. A soft nod of permission and the glove was in Inej's other hand and his palm was pressed against hers. The longing in him settles a bit yet also rages for more, that he had waited too long and so had she.

They found a closing coffee shop and stole a couple of cups before walking around the harbors, watching the gentle lights of lanterns dance to the breeze, low whispering of wind and water echoing in the silence that eased around them. They finally found a perch near the water, sitting down with feet dangling above the water, one hand with coffee and the other in the others the night couldn't have gotten any better.

Kaz finally stifled his fear, he had had enough of it. "Inej... I- I don't think you should wait for me anymore." Kaz said slowly, the words were wrong he knew it. But he needed somewhere to start off. "What do you mean by that Kaz." Inej asked sounding unsure, afraid of what he might mean. "It's hard for me to word.." he growled in frustration, eyebrows creasing together in annoyance. Inej smirked, leaning against him slightly, "take your time." He sighed, "but that's the thing, I shouldn't be taking my time." Kaz said, Inej looked up curiously at him.

"I can't wait around for you and expect you to always be waiting for me... to get the nerve to take another step or to say a few words that don't fit in my day to day sentences." He paused, and shook his head. Inej nodded encouragingly, she had never seen him this open before. "When it comes to you I am always utterly lost." He said with any exasperated sigh, Inej just chuckled at this. "I want you to get to know me... I want to be able to hold you and get over my fears Inej... every second apart is killing me, I can't keep waiting, waiting for me to catch up to you." Inej smiled now understanding.

"Then start at the begging." She told him gently, "work your way slowly, this fear you have is for a reason I'm guessing. Maybe if I know where it comes from I will know how to address it." Inej said, tracing patterns into the top of his hand with her thumb, liking that he did actually care and notice. "It's the reason behind everything Inej, the reason I became Dirtyhands and the reason I went after Pekka." Inej perked slightly. "Your dead brother..." she muttered, Kaz nodded. Kaz's harsh words against himself and his brother at that age came back to Inej. "We were fools."

"It actually happened here." Kaz mumbled, looking down at the black water.  "After Pekka stole our money the Queen Anne's plague hit. It killed my brother and nearly myself..." Kaz tried not to smile as he felt Inej's hand tighten around his hand, clearly not liking the idea of him dying. "We were on the reapers barge, I had to get back somehow, but all there was around me were dead bodies, so I took my brothers corpse, and used him as a raft to get to shore but... his skin, it peeled and pulled away, I couldn't let go, but I wanted to so badly... the wet skin and water slushing over the dead corpse eyes.... it all stuck to me. When I reached the pier and pulled myself up... he floated away and the sea took him. I have hated the touch of skin and the ocean ever since... plus a fear of drowning." Kaz's voice grew quieter  the farther he went in the story.

"I see... I'm so sorry Kaz, I can't imagine it, how old were you?" She said gently, so softly and caring. "I was seven.." Inej shivered, "no wonder you were traumatized... is that what you see? When you are touched." Kaz had to think for a moment. "Usually, but it gets less and less every time... I can hold your hand without feeling the water pulling at me and a dead cold corpse beside me. I have a feeling I could manage to heal, since before I would be drowning in the memory right now." He said thoughtfully, Inej smiled thinking about clearly how much thought he had put into it.

His armor was down, she immediately realized it when she looked up into his eyes, saw a burden he always carried slightly lift. Saw a actual smile grace his face. Boyish and easy, Inej also realizes that while Kaz is a monster, he is a seventeen year old boy who had been left in a cruel world to fend for himself, she now saw the remains of that boy and she vowed silently that she would help this boy come back.

She put her empty cup beside her and leaned completely on his side, he stiffened and eased up a bit. Relaxing to Inej's surprise. "I will wait for you Kaz, you need some time to heal and I will heal with you." Kaz pulled her closer, and theytalked.  About everything under the moon and stars, about homelands and learning more about one another. Inej liking his much happier personality, with smiles and good humor Kaz was quite charming without his cold armor on. So she stayed with him and they stayed out till the sun slashed bloody streaks across the Ketterdam sky. The fell asleep in separate rooms because they couldn't hold each other yet, but the promise of soon rang in their heads.
When they woke in the morning they regretted staying up late, but never the new things they learned and Kaz realized Inej wouldn't hurt him and left his armor off around her, making sure to take off her gloves before seeing her.

They both knew the other would wait, but not forever. They knew they needed to heal even if in separate places, and so they set goals and accomplishments were normally greatly succeeded. Because even without his armor Kaz Rietveld was just as dangerous and determined as Kaz Brekker.

Hope you all enjoyed this is requested by kbandj thanks so much for the request. I hope this pleases and I am glad you were excited for it even if it turned out to be a major let down.

Anyway, enough about how awful at writing I am lol, I need some sleep, my eyes hurt. From your not so favorite author, Wildwolf65

Peace out!