✓ The Games We Play ⇔ Mileven {2nd - "Wake Up, Mike" Trilogy}

Ten

Hopper.

I'm not sure why I feel like this. Eleven wasn't mine, she wasn't even close to mine. But I feel like she was, and I'm hurting again. I haven't felt this since Sarah, but I was right to feel this with Sarah. It made sense. This doesn't.

I don't know what it is about today, but today is different. I don't want to go to work at all, I have this strong urge to go to Joyce's house. To see how she's doing. She doesn't have to come in to work today, they gave her the day off. I got the very early morning off, but I have to go in at one in the afternoon. I never get Christmas fully off, but I'm not surprised. I'm the chief of police, I have to be around as much as possible. And it's not like I have anyone to be with on Christmas.

I still have an hour until I have to be in to work, so I'll just stop in and say hi. Wish the kids a Merry Christmas. That's not wrong, it's just being polite.

When I did get there, it felt a bit weird. The last time I came here, I walked inside and greeted three kids. Jonathan was helping Joyce cook, but Will was with Eleven. He was teaching her things, which was probably one of the sweetest things ever, and that's coming from me. He had his school books out, along with a notebook. I know she sat in at school that first week, mostly to get a feel for the environment. She didn't go to learn, but she did. Will was teaching her, I could hear them from the living room.

-

Eleven.

Sometimes, when I get really bored, and I feel like my thoughts are shutting down, I like to do work in my head. I like to remember what Will told me about history, and about science. Math is the easiest to remember, though, so I do that mostly. I don't know much, but I'm learning more. Will taught me how to count on my fingers and what addition is. We were gonna learn subtraction, but we can't now.

I miss Will.

-

Hopper.

I knocked loudly on the door, and Jonathan was the one to greet me with a warm smile. "Hey, Jonathan, Merry Christmas. Your mom home?"

"Yeah, she's in the kitchen. Will is out, though. He's with the Wheeler's," he explained as I stepped in and pulled my coat off. It was toasty warm inside, and I could smell gingerbread being made. It made me feel better. I walked into the kitchen and Joyce turned to me with big doe eyes. Her face lit up, and the widest smile appeared. She was glowing, truly, wearing a bright green shirt in celebration of the day. I couldn't focus on that, though, I could only see her radiant smile and sparkling eyes.

"Oh, Hop! Do you know how to make gingerbread cookies? Well, I know how to make them. I meant do you know how to make them so they're...edible?" She gave me a nervous smile, shrugging when she said 'edible.' I chuckled, walking forward and beginning to make the cookies. She stepped back, rinsing her hands off and laughing at herself. It was silent, and I could feel the happy moment physically slipping away.

"How are you holding up, Joyce?" I asked gruffly, but with a tone that told her I cared. I heard her sigh from behind me, then she walked up to stand next to me.

"I'm alright, I'm taking it better than Will. Eleven being taken has made me feel...out of it. Not like I was with Will, but it doesn't feel right. She was only here for a few days, but she made me feel like I was doing something right. She was comfortable around me, and it was so easy to build an attachment to her. And I just...I feel like I lost a daughter, I really do." She nodded, her voice wavering a bit. I sighed, dusting my hands off. I put my hands on the counter, leaning on it. I stared down into the bowl and cleared my throat.

"I feel the same. I didn't see her too much, but I fed her for a year. I made sure she was ok, and she trusted me. I haven't had that since...I haven't had it in a long time," I breathed out, clenching my eyes shut. I felt a hand on my arm, and opened my eyes slowly. I turned my head to look at her, and she was giving me a small smile.

"I believe you can find her, Hop. I believe you will, and I believe she'll learn to feel the same about you. It'll take her time, considering what she went through with her last 'dad'." She shook her head, using air quotes when she said dad. Dr. Brenner was not her dad, he was a sick man. "What is it, Hop? You look worse than you did when you first got here."

"I just...maybe she'd be here if I hadn't screwed up so bad," I mumbled out, starting to get emotional. I silently cursed myself, and Joyce kept shaking her head.

"Hop, no, when did you screw up? You did nothing but help her," she rushed out, stepping closer to me, her face contorted in confusion.

"I gave her away, Joyce. She was in the school and I told Brenner where she was. I didn't even hesitate, I just handed her over," I sniveled out, now letting just a few small tears fall. She started shaking her head again, repeating the word 'no'.

"Hop, you listen to me. You did that to save Will, who would've died if you didn't. Sure, you told him where she was, but he didn't even end up getting her. She disappeared while saving her friends. That had nothing to do with you," she insisted, but I shook my head and sniffled some more. "No one else has cared for her the way you have. Mike may be a close second, yeah, but you top everyone. Hop, you said it yourself, you fed her for a year. I know you aren't paid as much as you'd like, and you spent all of your money on her. All of your time and effort went into keeping her alive. I've never met someone so caring and willing."

I smiled, then, and she smiled back. I went back to making the cookies, and she talked about how Will and Jonathan are doing. She made me laugh, and I made her laugh.

She makes me happy.

-

JOPPERJOPPERJOPPERJOPPER

edit, 6-15-19: ^wow saaame