Finding the Right Words

Chapter 99- The Familiar Scent of the Air

The way the fans had screamed for us when we opened the concert, you would've thought it was the first Kpop concert in Chicago. 

Oh wait...

It wasn't hugely different from the concert we'd had in Beijing. The biggest difference was really that almost all of the songs were entirely in English. I opened with "Black Magic," and then the music changed to SuJu's introduction while I disappeared from stage. Back down below, I pulled my outfit off, disregarding the tech people also running around down there. They were doing their job, I was doing mine. There was no need to be shy. Nor any time.

I discarded my black sorceress costume and pulled on my next change. A close-fitting golden tank top. Tight black pants. Then a pair of truly fantastic black, high-heeled boots, fitting nicely over the curves of my calves. Then, untuck my hair from underneath the tank top. Slide on the leather jacket for the finish, and let one of the costume hands pin up my hair.

I listened carefully to the music above me. At the moment, we were at Kangin's part in the second verse. "I do not have any more words-- it is really just you. And it's too late for me and now, it is really just you..."

They were still in the middle of the English version of "It's You". Which, incidentally, was written by me. And was reported to be the second most popular song on their album, after "Paper Wall." I'd always liked "It's You." It was one of my all-time favorites.

I still had time. I wouldn't have to be on until after they performed "Sorry Sorry", something they would do while in the big cities, but not in the smaller, more private concerts. And then it was "No Place for Weeping," a track from my own album that was more rock than pop, which would automatically turn into an exhausting performance of Cascada's "Evacuate the Dance Floor". Which you think would be unpleasant for me, considering I'm not that great of a dancer, but actually, I loved it. My choreographer had done a good job of teaching me, and it was especially fun when Eunhyuk and Donghae came out for the rap part, and then the rest of the members came out for a dorky free-for-all.

And the audience must have liked it, too, because they were still cheering, even after I'd gone backstage. And not because the guys had started performing, because it was a long time before I heard the music to "Paper Wall" beating down through the stage.

"I'll take this chance for happiness.
With you I feel like I could fly.
Precious moments being near you-
Can't help but smile as you walk by.

But on the inside, I'm dying,
While next to you, I'm flying.
It feels so wrong--
Soon I'll be gone...
because this moment can't last...

I'm clinging to a paper wall-
holding tight as it tears,
and soon it'll fall.
I'll take the time in my hands
and spend it with you.
It's a short, burning flame,
and I don't know what to do.

So I hold onto these moments,
though I don't know how long.
I'm too happy
to let anything go wrong.
'Cause I'm tough-
and they don't know how strong."

I smiled as I listened to it, hearing the roar of the audience. I'd written that song when I was certain that I would lose them all someday, someday soon. Now that the wall wasn't paper, I didn't have to hold on so tightly.

"Don't be too happy.
Don't forget, my time is short.
It'll end, and I'll be destroyed,
always, always wishing for more."

I listened to the rap part as I pulled my stockings on and slid a pretty, flowy white dress on, ready for my next piece. I bit my lip a little, feeling slightly guilty. I wasn't much of a rap writer, so it was fairly short, just barely long enough for Eunhyuk, Shindong, and Henry to each get lines in.