Finding the Right Words

Chapter 35- A State of Absolute Happiness

I still wondered about the answer to Sunsaeng's question. What exactly had I done to make the members like me so much? I mean, I wasn't complaining, but really, what had I done? Why was I now being visited by almost the entirety of SJM during dance class, personally requested by MiMi to co-write songs, and invited by Kyuhyun to be a Kyu-line member even though I'm not even a debuted artist?

I wouldn't find out the answer until the next time I met Henry. He'd kidnapped me after my last class of the day, as usual, and then there I sat in some unfamiliar place in Seoul eating hamburgers, as usual. I started off by explaining everything that had occured back in Korea while he was gone, to include my happenings with JiHoo, and how I had almost had the ability to perform. I even pulled out my computer and showed him the video Min Hee had made of my performance.

"You scare me sometimes," was his response when the video was over.

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"That you're totally okay with dancing like this? What happened to my sweet, innocent little Mel?"

I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Okay, so maybe you were never actually innocent. But what am I going to do if you start getting chased around by guys because you dance like this? Not to mention that you're getting prettier. What sparked that, by the way?"

I told him about how I felt after JiHoo left the company, and Tiffany's advice. "I wanted to be a better version of myself when you guys came back. You know, to show my Oppas that I was working to be worthy of their attention. I hadn't really expected... to be quite so welcomed. I'm still a bit confused about that."

"About what?"

"The members. Why they're so friendly with me. I mean, I'm not even debuted. I'm just a trainee. I could get kicked out of the company any day."

Henry leaned back in his chair and made a face. "Well, I can't say about me and Zhou Mi, but I think the rest of the members are grateful for how you helped Kangin."

"Seriously?"

"You bet. I mean, they liked you from the start, since you were a very determined, not to mention American, ELF, but when they heard from Kangin about what had happened, they were really surprised that you went to such lengths to help him. You are one serious piece of work, Mel."

"I'm not entirely sure how to take that."

"I mean that in the best of ways. Really. But most people, even the ones who call themselves ELF... would've left him out there in the rain. But you thought of his reputation before your own. That's really dangerous as an artist, especially if you want to stand on your own in SM. It's a dog-eat-dog world. but you did it anyway. Maintaining the reputation of just one member helps to keep the reputation of the whole group, so now we had to take even better care of you as payback. At least, that's what Teukie-hyung said."

"Leeteuk knows?!" 

Leeteuk was still in the military, so it was a pretty good trick. 

"Yeah, he was one of the first ones to find out. We like to pretend that we're working without a leader, but we actually talk to him a lot when we start to get a bit out of control."

"Such as when one of your members gets ridiculously drunk because he hasn't quite adjusted to being an idol again?"

"Exactly."

"Ooooohhhhh..."

Well, at least I had an idea of what made me so special all of a sudden. It was a huge warm-and-fuzzy feeling, really. Getting special treatment from one's idols isn't something that happens to everyone. Now I just had to let it not get to my head. Note to self: slap yourself every time you start to get sincere thoughts of vanity.