Finding the Right Words

Chapter 29- Sure, Sunbae

True to my punishment, the next day, as Jessica demanded, I got up at three in the morning so that I could wash Jessica's car before I went to SM to go to my Korean language class. 

I hadn't slept much, and felt bone tired. I'd drunk about six cups of tea that morning to try to keep myself awake, but it was hard. I got into a taxi, and then relayed the address that Jessica had given me to the driver. I watched Seoul go by through the taxi's window, and wondered how I'd found myself in such a big, densely populated city like this one. After Jessica's harassment, sometimes I missed the feeling of being safe at home, out in the country, where I could play my music as loud as i wanted, and the neighbors were too far away to care. 

I kind of missed going to a school where I could refer to my teachers by their first names, or tease them for saying something wrong. I missed waking up my little brother in the morning, and then riding the big yellow bus to school. I didn't think I regretted my decision to be where I was, but there was still a burning ache in my heart for all of those little things I had always taken for granted back home.

I didn't know how much time I would have before we arrived at Jessica's house, but my mind was swirling with thoughts of my house out in the countryside of Wisconsin. I pulled out my notebook and started writing, and I finished the lyrics to the song just about the same time that the taxi came to a stop.

I stepped out of the taxi and looked around. Well, it didn't look like too much from the outside. But I guess K-idol dorms were in the eye of the beholder. My dorm's building looked like a dump to me, but that might just be because I knew it was a dump. Maybe to some poor, childish SNSD-obsessed fanboy, this plain-looking place might look like the door to heaven. Not me, though. 

I didn't know what I was supposed to do now. I couldn't just go to the parking garage and start, since I didn't know which car was Jessica's. Unless all of their cars were labeled, which I severely doubted was the case. Should I go to the door? But which one was their apartment?

I went to the main door and looked at the apartment occupant roster. Hmm... nothing that comes right out and says "SNSD dorm". I guess that would make it too easy for fans to come and creep on them. Let's see... what to do, what to do...

As I was thinking, I felt someone tap on my shoulder. I turned around and saw a burly man in a security guard uniform. "Excuse me, Miss, but you can't be here." He looked tired, as if he really didn't want to be kicking out little blond girls at three-thirty in the morning. I couldn't blame him. I would be tired if I had to be a security guard this early in the morning, too.

"I don't mean to be a bother, sir, but I was told to come here this morning. I'm trying to call up to the So Nae Shi Dae dorm, but I don't know which one is theirs..."

"Miss, the members don't want to be dealing with fans this early in the morning." Oh not this again! It was like when I was trying to talk to Kangta all over again! Am I a fangirl just because the person I need to talk to just happens to be an idol?! I'm an ELF, dangit! E.L.F! Everlasting Friend! I'm a SUPER JUNIOR fan, not an SNSD or Kangta fan! What was so hard to understand about that?

Not that he would know that. I guess most all fangirls look the same, no matter what their fandom is, so it's impossible to differentiate. Still, the least people could do would be to listen when I say I'm not a fan.

"No, sir, I'm not here as a fangirl. I'm a trainee for SM Entertainment, you see, and Jessica-sunbae asked me to come here to... do something for her." Commanded on punishment of death was more appropriate. "I'm telling the truth. See? This is the address that she gave me."

I held the piece of paper out to him, and he glanced over it and handed it back. "Alright, call up. If they answer, you can go in. If not, you have to get out of here."