Finding the Right Words

Chapter 63- Heaven Isn't Real

Mom asks us both what we want our new sibling to be; a boy or girl. Both my sister and I say that we want a boy, because we already have a sister; now we want a brother.

The first day Mom brought Patrick home from the hospital. The family all strains to see the little boy in Mom's arms, but I'm still too short to see. Mom gives him to Jackie to hold, and I'm jealous because I wanted to hold him. Jackie just sticks her tongue out and says that I only want attention. Maybe I do. I'm not the family's baby anymore.

Our first day on the school bus for our new school. I don't know anyone on the bus, and I swear I'm even getting a few of those "Ew, it's the new kid" looks. I don't know where else to go, so I sit next to my sister. 

My sister and I sit on the couch, playing Halo on Legendary mode, getting our butts kicked. I screech, and then my player dies. I respawn where my sister has been hiding, and yell, "Your turn, Sis!!" 

Jackie and I, playing card games at the kitchen table. It's too hot to go outside, so we play games for hours. Mom comes home from work, and looks at the empty container of Countrytime lemonade powder. "Did you guys drink over a GALLON of lemonade in the past four hours?!" My sister and I look at the empty pitcher, then at each other, and burst out laughing.

Try-outs for the fall play. I'm a freshman, and Jackie's a senior. I'm nervous, and don't know everyone very well. I've met them before, because they're Jackie's friends, but they kind of scare me. They have no respect for personal space, and I really do not like anyone touching me. But my sister tells me that I'll do just fine, since I'm apparently a better actress than her. 

I do a duo audition with one of Jackie's Senior friends. I feel a bit intimidated by her, because I know she's a really good actress. But I put all of my heart into the character, and we bounce off of each other really nicely. When we get offstage, everyone tells us that we did really well. Still, I'm just a Freshman, and Freshmen don't get parts in the plays.

"OHMYGOSH I got a part, Jackie!" I squeal, and jump up and down, and she just laughs. 

High school graduation, and it still hasn't sunk in that my sister is moving out. She's going to college, and, for the first time in my life, she won't be there whenever I need someone to talk to.

Jackie's moved into her college dorm, but a lot of her stuff is still in my room. It still feels like I'm sharing the room. Over the course of a few months, I pull all of her stuff down and carefully package it away in a smal corner of the closet, replacing it with my own stuff. I dial her phone, and when she picks up, irately say "You need to come get your crap."

"Yeah, love you too, Mel," she replies, but I can hear the laughter in her voice.

Fall play my Junior year. It's the fourth play I've been in, and the sixth production, since I've been in musicals before, too. Jackie materializes from the crowd of people exiting the auditorium, holding a bouquet of flowers. "Good job, Brat," she says as she gives me a hug. "I think the 'OH, TONY!' part was my favorite." She grins, and I punch her.

"Ow," she says, but laughs. "I've never seen you act so romantic."

"Personally, the role felt a bit unnatural to me. But whatever."

My going-away party, the last time I saw her. I open up my present from my mother and hold it up for everyone to see, and there's my sister, standing next to me, with her own present for me. Now I'm going to be the one leaving. But I'm going much further away than the next city over. Still, she holds out the present. "Melissa." she says, "Melissa'.