Finding the Right Words

Chapter 62- Any Negative Influences

I left more notes than I could count. Notes for Min Hee that something was wrong with the shower, that there was plenty of leftovers in the fridge, that I was paying for the flight using an advance on my paychecks, and the money we had been saving would pay for groceries for a while, and that John was welcome in the dorm while I was gone. Notes for the SuJu members, that I had washed all of the laundry for the past week, and instructions on how to do their laundry in case I didn't come back for a while. A note for Ryeowook, on how to make a lot of my recipes, since he was most likely to take over the cooking duties for me. A note for Sungmin to stop feeding Caocao people food. A note for Kyuhyun that he should stop falling asleep playing Starcraft, because it messed up his save data and made his bedsheets hard to sort out. A note for Eunhyuk that I had left bottles of air freshener in his room and three sticks of deodorant, and that he needed to wash his blankets at least once a week, because Choco shed a lot. Also, I'd bought enough strawberry milk to last him the next few weeks. A note for Kangin that his favorite pair of underwear was ripped, and I had got him a new pair. A note for Donghae that I had thrown out two of his hats because they creeped me out and I was sorry for it. 

A note for Henry to remind him that he knew why I had to go, and I would try to be back as soon as I could, but I didn't know when or how that would be, and I was scared to find out. But he was in charge of telling FASE that I was gone, and they would have to pick on a different Maknae for a while. 

A note for Zhou Mi, written in careful Chinese and taped to the vocal training room door. I was happy that he was better, and I hoped he could sleep more, and not work so hard. I would be gone for a while, but I was still cheering for him. I hoped that knowing that, he would have confidence in himself, and not make himself sick, like before.

Even as I boarded my plane for the United States, I worried and fussed that I hadn't left enough notes, even though my sticky note pad was completely empty. But I couldn't turn back now. All that was important was forward. Back to my home. Still, as the plane lifted off, I watched the South Korean landscape disappear beneath me, and wondered if I would really feel like I had returned home when I got back to Wisconsin. Or even if the circumstances in which I was returning would allow me to think about it.

I hadn't really thought about how I would get to Saint Elizabeth's after the plane touched down in the airport, since I had barely any leftover money, so I just grabbed my bags and walked. I hadn't been able to sleep at all on the plane because of worry, so I probably looked like a zombie, stomping through the streets. Fortunately, I had a rough idea where the hospital was. I didn't hesitate at all, heading straight there from the airport.

Finally I arrived, not feeling the pain in my ankles. I walked up to the front desk, where the secretary looked down at me and my rumpled clothes, and my bags, and didn't even try to hide her look of disapproval. "We don't have any beds open, Miss. This isn't a homeless shelter."

"I'm not a homeless person! I live in Seoul, South Korea!" I snapped, not caring if it sounded strange. "I just got off a plane and came right here, because I am worried about my sister. Spiderbite victim?"

"Oh... I see." Now she looked sorry for me, and a bit apologetic. Great. "You must be Melissa."

"I am. How is she? Is she okay?" I pleaded, searching her face for some information.

"Her room is on the fourth floor. You can speak with her doctor."

Without another word, I went to the elevator, bags and all, pressing the button impatiently as it took too long to get up the stairs. Finally, I burst onto the floor, scanning the hallways. Then I saw my mom, sitting on the floor just outside one of the rooms, with her hands in her hair. She looked like she was getting ready to tear it out.