Finding the Right Words

Chapter 51- Clean Mind, Melissa. Clean Mind.

Eventually I made it back to my dorm, feeling the numbness weighing down on me. Min Hee asked me what was wrong over and over again, but I just didn't know what to say. I didn't expect her to feel pity; I had brought it upon myself. I had to know that my awful mouth would get me in trouble someday. 

I knew what the next day would bring. Somehow, SM would find a way to pucnish me; to get all of the money I owed them, and then kick me out of the company. My time at SM was always going to be short. I didn't know what I would tell my family, and the Wisconsin Girls. I had failed, because I put my status as an ELF above everything else. 

Numbly, I got up and grabbed my bags. I pulled out the contents of my dresser and began to dump it in, not caring if it was organized. I'd be back in the United States soon enough.

"Mel, Mel, MEL! What are you doing?! Min Hee ran over, grabbing my hands away from my dresser. "Mel, I want to help, but I can only do that if you tell me what's wrong."

I felt the tears overrun my cheeks again, the heat and salt of a boiling ocean. I told her everything, probably looking like a complete weakling, whining to her while I cried and sobbed, but I just couldn't seem to stop. 

"And tomorrow they're going to kick me out. I know it. Why wouldn't they? They have every right to," I finished, wiping the last of my tears away with the back of my hand.

"But didn't you say that you owe too much money? And that they can't get it out of you?"

"I don't know how the legal system in Korea works. For all I know, they can. I just said that to make myself look intimidating. Besides, even if they can't get it legally, there are other ways."

Min Hee hugged me, her slim form a warm comfort. "Hey, you won't know until tomorrow, right? And you can't give up yet. Don't you have a song for Super Junior?"

"It's not finished yet."

"Exactly. So you have to stay in the company until it's done. Even if you have to force them to stay by kicking and screaming. You're good at that."

I choked a laugh. 

"So don't pack your things. If you leave, I'll be missing a roommate, and who knows the kind of person they might replace you with." She shuddered. "You can't leave me, okay?"

I nodded. "I'll try, Min Hee. I guess we'll find out tomorrow."

I had no idea what fate awaited me when I went into the company building the next day. Everything was different, and yet I started the day the same way, heading straight to Lee-sunsaengnim's classroom.

When I entered the room, I saw her, tapping her pencil on her desk and regarding me. I slid into my usual chair, steeling myself for whatever news she had for me.

I'm going to get kicked out. I made a terrible mistake, making a fool out of the management, and now I would have to pay for it. I'm sorry, Oppas, it's all my fault; I couldn't control my stupid mouth...

"So, Minsung, do you regret defending Zhou Mi?"

Did I? Despite risking everything in order to do it, did I really regret it?

"It was rash, Minsung. And dangerous. You needn't endanger your own future in order to protect Super Junior. It almost cost you your trainee status."

I looked up, wondering if I'd heard correctly. "Almost?"

"Removing you from the company was what was planned. They were going to do it. However, when the foreign investors asked the management about when you were going to debut, the company decided that you're valuable enough to keep."