"No, no more tears.
Not this time.
Not again.
I won't let them out.
I refuse.
I'll bite my lip
and swallow my words.
I won't become who you are.
I won't let myself.
This anger-- it's at you.
No one else.
Calm the heartbeat.
One, two, three, exhale--
that's right.
Steady the hands.
Left hand, right hand--
don't let them shake.
Bite back the vicious words--
they're things you would say.
And I will not be you.
Control the angry thoughts.
They solve nothing.
Understand, listen, believe.
Hope carries on.
Do not fight.
Do not kick and scream,
do not bite and claw.
and most of all,
do not cry.
I am strong.
Too strong for tears.
This is not sorrow--
no place for weeping.
This is anger.
This is jaw-clenching,
mind-numbing,
blood-boiling anger.
It will consume me
if I'm not careful.
So I must fight it--
swallow it.
Must not argue,
must not disobey,
must not show the pain.
But first--
do not cry."
I finished reading the poem to Nakata-sensei, proud of my work. I'd removed the sticky note, and now carefully put it back on the page. "What do you think, Sensei? I'm thinking of naming it 'No Place for Weeping' after that one line in the ninth stanza. I have to find music for it yet, but I like it."
"It's very nice, Minsung. Powerful. I've never considered you as someone who swallowed anger. You're deceptive."
"I'm just full of surprises!" I replied somewhat joyfully. "I usually don't have to. People don't realize it, but most of the crazy things I do, I do because I've already appraised the consequences, and disregarded them as minor. I generally don't consider a punishment to myself as important. But if someone else is going to get hurt because I say something... that's when the control has to come in."
"Interesting. Well, I wish you the best of luck. Your musical skills have significantly improved. I think you'll do well in the exhibition. I'm sorry for your failure at the group competition, by the way. From what I saw of you and Kim Min Hee, I thought you'd do better. It seems strange that the two of you didn't succeed."
YOU ARE READING
Finding the Right Words
FanfictionMel is known for her stubborn personality, her slightly eccentric tendencies, and her loud voice. But more than that, what separates her and her friends from the rest of the cold Wisconsin town around her, is their love of music- Korean music. When...
