Finding the Right Words

Chapter 33- A Person Can Change

I felt like a stranger. In dance class, I felt completely ashamed. When I walked in, everyone looked away, like they weren't able to meet my eyes. It wasn't my fault! I wanted to scream to them. I wanted to tell them everything that had happened, and explain why JiHoo had left, but I couldn't bring myself to say anything, because I just couldn't put myself over Kangin.

Sunsaeng saved me, at least temporarily. "Okay, okay, kids, it looks like there's a problem we're going to have to fix. See, I've been told that JiHoo, who was going to be performing with Minsung at the charity concert, has left the company. There's no way someone can learn his choreography fast enough, so, I'm sorry Minsung, but you'll have to bow out of the competition." 

He sounded apologetic, not incriminating. It was like he pitied me. I wanted to cry, but I just nodded instead, focusing on the floor to avoid everyone's eyes. 

"Since Minsung and JiHoo will no longer be performing, we'll have the third place team go with Min Hee and SoHee. You'll have to practice your dance more. You can go to Dance Practice Room 4 to practice. the rest of you are with me." His eyes landed on me sympathetically. I couldn't look at him.

After all of the work I had put in to make my partner dance look good, the steps we were covering in class seemed painfully simple, even for me. It was frustrating and disappointing.

Before I left, Sunsaeng pulled me aside and said, "It's really a disappointment. You guys had a really concrete concept. I was surprised by you, Minsung. Keep up the good work; you'll get another chance."

I hoped so. I hadn't expected much from dance class, but when the chance to get my name out had become tangible, I hadn't realized how much I'd wanted it. I hadn't wanted to step on m classmates for it, but now that it was gone, I felt empty. 

I walked out of the classroom, taking deep breaths so that I wouldn't start crying. I walked through the lobby toward my vocal training class, thinking that maybe I should get a cup of tea to cheer myself up. Then a smell wafted into my nose, and I focused my eyes to see someone holding a cup of green tea under my nose. Surprised, I looked up.

"Tiffany?"

She took my hand and put the teacup into it. "Drink it. It'll make you feel better."

"How did you-"

"Know?" She shrugged. "Found out through the grapevine."

"My classmates were talking about it, huh?"

"Caught me." She smiled and winked. "Hey, that sucks. But it's not your fault, okay?" 

She leaned in closer to me and whispered, "Thank you for taking care of Kangin-oppa. If anyone else were in that situation, they would've done the same thing."

She knew about that, too?! 

"You just got your first real feel for being a celebrity! Now you'll be prepared to handle it from now on."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"When you're an idol, there'll be a lot of people that love you, even when you don't know it person by person. It takes a bit of getting used to. And you can't get too attached to your dance partners. Your partner should have known that."

Well, apparently he was attached to me before we were even partners, I thought bitterly. "Thanks, Tiffany, that helps a lot." was what I said instead. It did help, but I still felt like a complete jerk. I was turning into Jessica.

I didn't realize that I'd said it out loud until Tiffany exclaimed "Don't say that! You're not! Your classmates are jealous. Really. I could tell just by listening to them. So don't beat yourself up about it. What you need to do is to practice more, smile bigger, and work harder, so that way when your SJM Oppas come back, you can show them how great you've become! Right?"