Finding the Right Words

Chapter 78- This Was The Very First Page

Day two, round two. 

That day was even more chaos than the previous one. EVERY one of the the trainees was performing at least once, and these were the performances that everyone wanted to see. The seats filled up before we even began to get ready for performances. There were reporters, photographers, people from companies I didn't recognize. As I headed to the dressing rooms, I heard one of the new people introduce himself as a representative for JYP. Seriously, other entertainment companies were here, too?!

Serious deal. 

Backstage, everyone was running around like a chicken with her head cut off. Big fluffy dresses, elegant tuxedos, fashionable jackets, and plenty of high heels. Makeup, accessories, everything had to be done and checked. Voices rang through the air, getting one last practice in before the performance was upon them. 

I set my bag in my spot, checking myself in the mirror. I'd decided to go simple for my costume that day. It was an outfit that Tiffany and Krystal had helped me pick out, a blue dress with a white belt that flattered both my figure and my fandom. Min Hee had done my hair that morning, curling it around my head so that it looked like I had a crown over the curls that spilled down my back. Simple, but it fit my concept nicely.

Concept. I really was an idol, at least in my head. Even if it was only for that one day, and never again.

I was oddly calm, I realized. Everything seemed to move around me, while I myself sat still, looking at myself in the mirror. Gray eyes not hidden behind glasses lenses. Long, honey-blonde hair. Pale, yellow-tinted skin from old Chinese ancestry. Long fingernails painted in blue and silver with floral designs. This was me. 

Once, my Creative Writing teacher asked me to write a poem about myself using only metaphors. Oddly enough, the best metaphor I'd thought of was that I was a grapefruit. The harder, outermost peel is bitter and distasteful. But if you peel it off, or cut it open, the inside can be both sweet and sour. Some people like it, some don't. But no matter what, it is always best if you add a little sugar.

This was me.

Min Hee came to stand at the counter spot next to me, beautiful as usual, her long black hair up in a high ponytail that swung behind her head. She was dressed less simply than me, in a sheer black fabric over a tighter black and white pantsuit.

"When's your turn?" she asked, leaning against the edge of the maekup counter.

"Twenty-three. I don't like that number. Prime number. I hate prime numbers."

She laughed. "That's a really weird reason, but okay."

"Twenty-four would be better. Easily divisible, and easy on the tongue. One of my lucky numbers. I was so incredibly close."

Min Hee laughed again. "Such a nerd. I'm going eighth and thirty-sixth, by the way."

"Eight's not a bad number. Twenty-four is better, but it's better than twenty-three. Meanwhile, thirty-six is fantastic. Well, break a leg, Min Hee. I'm rooting for you."

"You always are," she grinned, then let her expression smooth out. "About yesterday's performance..."

"Don't worry about it," I interrupted, "it doesn't matter. I have to focus on today. You should, too. Now come on, Min Hee. They're starting."

I looked up at the screen, then away. Despite the strange looks I was getting from the other girls, I turned my mp3 player on and stuck the earbuds in my ears. I saw Min Hee raise her eyebrow, and explained, although I couldn't hear her very well. 

"It's to keep myself calm. If I watch everyone else's performances, I'll just make myself nervous. So I'm not going to listen. I asked some of the cameramen to let me have the editing discs, so I can watch them afterward. But I'll watch yours, don't worry."