Chris.
We've been home for about two weeks. After Sabrina got released from the hospital in New York she had to hurry here and get to her neurologist and have the baby removed.
Ever since they told her that she could possibly have a tumor she went straight to being depressed.
Things were going so good and now she gotta stress over this.
I think I've been praying harder than I ever have. I hope once they do a biopsy on whatever that is we get nothing but good news. Seeing her like this is just breaking my heart.
"Baby you need to get out this room." I said while bringing her some food.
"I just wanna lay in bed Chris."
She grabbed her food. I went and grabbed some lotion off the dresser, pulled her legs out the cover and started massaging them.
"Man that feels good." She said while tossing her head back.
"I bet it does.
"Where's Aden and Reign?"
"Sleep."
"They're going to wake up in the middle of the night."
"They fell asleep after they are dinner. I think they out for the rest of night."
"Oh."
It got quiet.
"My surgery for the baby is next week and then I have to rest for another two weeks."
"I'm just ready for your neurologist to see you tomorrow."
"I'm not...I have never been so scared about going to the doctor in my life. I just don't get what did I do to get cursed with all of this nonsense. I wanna say that this is karma for having her killed or beating her but I sit think that no matter what I did I would still be in this position because she got jealous."
"You don't deserve this Sabrina. It's hurting me so bad that you gotta go through this man."
She covered her face and started crying.
"What if it's so bad that it's nothing that they can do. I won't even get a chance to see my kids grow up. My life is over. Why did I have to have cancer Chris?!"
I was ready to cry.
"Baby you don't even know what it is! It could be a bruise don't give up Sabrina. If that is the case I'll do whatever to make sure that you fight through it. I'm not gonna let you give up so easily baby. You'll be okay."
She just shook her head and cried. I know that no matter what I told her she was gonna think the worst.
I got up and grabbed her. She just cried on my chest.
She gotta be okay! What will I do without her? I'm telling her to think positive when I can't even do it.
FUCK MAN!
The Next Day.
We pulled up to her neurologist office and got out. I didn't even sleep last night. Every negative thing I can think of just ran through my head. When I did try to sleep I was having nightmares so I would jump right up. I just rubbed my babies hair and watched her sleep.
She was so nervous this morning. She barely wanted to go. They were just running test on her, it would take a week for her results to come back. I wish we could find out today. I guess that week will give us time to figure things out.
