I Hate Beautiful Men

chapter 29 "Decisions"

Chapter 29

*SANTANA MILLER*

I felt the world was on my shoulders when I heard Bret said that he would file a divorce with my mother. He was making me chose between being selfless and being selfish, and either ways… I will get hurt, hurt is even an understatement. If I choose, I would be crushed. If I chose them over me and Brian… that would totally break my heart and my soul. But if I choose… us… I wouldn’t be able to face my mom again. She has already sacrificed a lot for me.

I look at Brian who is still sleeping. He looks peaceful. The doctor said that he can’t remember what happened for the last two years. He doesn’t remember me. All that happened between the two of us was totally deleted from his mind. And it was my entire fault. If I hadn’t… if I hadn’t bugged him that fateful day… he would still remember me.

I sighed and faced them. Bret, Mom and Craig are all looking at me. Mom’s look is also hurt as me. I know she loves Bret and so does he.

“I have come up with a decision.” I said.

“Santana, you don’t have to go through this.” He turns to face his father. “Dad, you are being unreasonable. Are you really going to do this to Brian? I have seen them dad and I know that what they felt wasn’t just a fling or even a puppy love… they were in love dad.” Craig said.

I mentally thank Craig for doing this for me. I am very touched. Bret didn’t even budge with what Craig said. His mind is already set.

“No Craig… he… he’s right.” Craig jerk his head to me not believing what he was hearing. “This relationship with Brian is not right. And I think it was just a…spur of a moment.” I took all the strength that was left with in me to say the next thing in my mind. “I was a loner, and I never had any boyfriend. I think I got carried away when I saw Brian and the fact that we would be living together in one roof.” I saw Craig shook his head without leaving his eyes from me. I know, he’s disappointed. “Maybe it was just my teenage hormones that are kicking in…” I said forcing a laugh.

“Honey, what are you saying?” Mom said.

I pressed my lips together because they were literally shaking. “Mom, I’m saying that you should not file a divorce. And that Brian and I will remain siblings for the rest of our lives.” I said.

“Santana…” Craig mutters.

“Since Brian doesn’t remember me… it will be easy to make a new beginning with him.” I said looking at Bret.

He seemed surprise. “Is that you final decision?” he said sternly. I couldn’t find my voice anymore, so instead of answering, I nodded. Bret stood up. “I will talk to the doctor about Brian’s condition and ask him if we could take him home… but Santana… I will expect that you will be true to your words.” He said and left the room.

“Santana, you didn’t have to choose me.” Mom broke the deafening silence.

I look at her; her eyes were red from crying. “How could I not choose you mom? And I assure you the thing between me and Brian is nothing to be worried about.” I said. I hate lying, especially with my mom.

She didn’t say anything else. Instead she gave me a hug… I needed it. I need someone to hug me tight to keep me from falling apart.

I was the one who break the hug. “Mom… I should go back to the house… I want to take a rest.” I said.

“I’ll take you home.” Craig offered.

“Okay… rest well okay?” Mom said and gave me a kiss in the forehead.