Hide And Seek ~ Josh Dun

Chapter 58

(Josh P.O.V.)

"Why didn't you do something?" The voices scream, coming from every angle possible. They're everywhere. Blackness is everywhere, the only light being on the only thing I don't want to see.

"Why the hell didn't you do something! You could've saved her. You should've protected her!" The voices are getting louder, angrier, closer. But I can't move, I'm stuck, frozen in my spot next to her.

"You're pathetic. You can't even keep what you love most." The voices are so far yet they feel so close. My body starts shaking, and my chest closes as I get closer to her.

She just lays there, eyes lifeless. Her mouth remains open from when she used her last breath to yell my name. For once, her body is just cold. The light surrounding her slowly turns blue. And the blackness is creeping in.

"If you can't save her, what can you do? Nothing. You are nothing." Ghost like fingers brush at my arms, as if afraid to touch me at first. But once I react to their heated touch, they start pulling, scratching everywhere.

"It's not my fault!" I scream, but it comes out as a soft whisper. They go silent for a second, before I feel the intensity of her stare on me. Looking back down, I see her sitting up.

"It's all your fault. I needed you, and you did nothing." Blood starts oozing out of her eyes, traveling down her face and dropping on the ground. As soon as it lands on the ground, the blood catches flames, lighting up the little room. Everywhere is little clouds of blackness.

My chest locks up as I look at the darkness surrounding me, and Abby laughs. It send chills down my spine and causes my stomach to lurch. The darkness decided to take its chance and it rushes at me. I close my eyes tightly, refusing to see what happens next.

But nothing happens. I peel open my eyes, and it's just her and I again. This time though, her body is different. Around her throat, is thick purple bruises. Shaped like hands. Feeling an intense pain on the backs of my hands, I look down. On them is multiple scratch marks, as if someone was trying to escape... Trying to push them off.

"You couldn't save her, because you are what killed her."

"Josh!" Abby-Lynn screams, and I jump up, flying out of the bed. I'm standing on the other side of the room, staring at her. She has the lamp turned on, and she is looking at me with panicked eyes.

My eyes dart all over her, looking at her eyes, her hands, and her neck. When no marks are there, I drop to my hands and knees, struggling to catch my breath.

"All a dream. Just a dream." I ramble over and over again, mumbling the same phrase. I hear the bed shift and I see Abby starting to make her way over to me. I hold my hand up, and she stops in her spot. "Plea-please don't come any closer."

Her eyebrows scrunch and my stomach lurches again as the lifeless look in her eyes flash through my head. I slam my hand on the ground, and she jumps slightly. Leaning back on my heels, resting my head on the wall, I look at her with tears falling down my face.

"You died. You were dead. Jesus Christ." This is the hardest thing I've ever said and she knows, because now she is kneeling in front of me with her arms wrapped around my neck.

"I'm alive baby. I'm not going anywhere. I'm here." She starts rocking us back and forth. We sit like that for hours, way after the sun comes up. Her holding me, while I refuse to even lay my hands on her, afraid of what I could do.

~~~~

(Abby P.O.V.)

"Josh asked if I could explain everything to you while they're performing." Jenna flops down on the couch, twirling the hem of her shirt. We are sitting in the dressing room backstage. I nod and turn so I'm facing her. It's been all day, and Josh didn't want to tell me anything, and the expression he had all day made me not want to ask.

"Ok, so. Josh always has these... vivid nightmares. They're extremely dark, and mentally draining. For months Josh would refuse to sleep, and when he did he would wake up screaming. It was... It was horrible. His brain was tearing him apart, and we couldn't do anything.

"We took him to this therapist. Josh only agreed to one session though. But afterwards, he explained to us what was apparently going on. When he is under a lot of stress, his brain decides to screw with him.

"It creates these dreams that take what he loves most and does something horrible to them. He talked to Tyler this morning while you were in the shower and explained what happened last night." Jenna looks over to the corner, wiping away her tears.

Why hasn't Josh told me this before?

"You were dead in his dream. Something around you guys tried convincing Josh it was his fault that he couldn't save you. Then you came alive and blamed it on him. Everything changed after that and he said... He said it was him who killed you."

She looks at me with heartbreak in her eyes. I stop breathing, my throat closing up. Is that why he wouldn't touch me all day? Is that why he's been avoiding to look into my eyes?

Standing up, I rush out of the room while Jenna trailing behind me. I make my way to the side stage, and hear the song just about to end. As soon as Josh drums out the last beat, I dash over to him, flinging myself into his arms. He drops his drumsticks, catching me with ease.

"I love you, Josh. I love you. We are going to help each other. You won't deal with this alone anymore." I whisper into the crook of his neck and he tightens his grip around me. He buries his head in my hair. I can feel his shaggy breathing.

"I love you, Abby-Lynn." He says, kissing me. This is the first time he has kissed me all day, and it's full of passion and eagerness. When we pull away, I notice the crowd is cheering and Tyler is playing "Oh Ms. Believer".

I step away from Josh after kissing Josh again. Walking swiftly to the side of the state, Jenna grabs my hand. For the reminder of the concert, we watch the boys. Our boys.