Hide And Seek ~ Josh Dun

Chapter 49

Chapter 49

(Josh P.O.V.)

"Don't you know it feels good to be alive." I hum while running up and down the aisles before the concert. Tyler and I are trying to get past our nervous jitters before every show, and to do that we move around, a lot. Tyler's backstage doing some exercises while I'm running through the seats of the venue.

"You could be larger than life, bigger than the world." Abby-Lynm showed me this song the other day, Larger Than Life by Pinkzebra, and honestly it does help me with stuff before the show. I remember the conversation we had.

"What wrong?" She asked, leaning in and resting her hands on my shoulders. I was flipping out, having a panic attack. I could tell it worried her, but I couldn't stop, j couldn't push away the thoughts. So I just let it all spill.

"Why do people look up to us? It's scary. What if one time we can't be there for them? What if I'm just not good enough? I want to do everything for these fans but I don't feel like I do." Abby-Lynm watched me the whole time, a heartbroken expression on her face. She wipes my tears away with her thumb, placing her hand on my cheek.

"Josh, baby, do you know how much you do for everyone? Your music helps so many people, myself included. It is scary, I bet, but they listen to the music you make because it gives them hope. So many nights of your life goes to making your fans happy, whether it's be a concert, an interview, or even just going on social media. And don't you say you're not good enough, there's no one else that could take your place. You're Josh Freaking Dun."

Her eyes held hope the whole time she talked, and it made my throat close up. I don't deserve this. She must've known what I was thinking because she grabs her phone and sits beside me instead of in front of me.

Holding her phone up, it starts playing music. I look at her confused, and she just smiles and nods her head at the phone, begging me to listen. When it was finished, my head felt clearer.

"Whenever you're panicking or just stressed, listen to this song, I promise it will help you."

So now it's become sort of my mantra song. Not only do the lyrics help, but whenever I listen to it I just picture Abby-Lynn there. I do love her, more than anything. Even Tyler was shocked at how well she calmed me down the other day.

"I can't even do that, it takes me quite a while to get you ok again.. The only other person who can calm you that fast is your mom." Tyler said, stepping out from around the corner after Abby left to go get some food. I looked up at him, a tired grin on my face. "Just don't forget me when you guys get married." He winked at me and left.

Honestly, I won't lie, I have thought about marrying Abby-Lynn. It fills my heart with joy at the thought, but I know we just got together not too long ago. I wonder if she has even thought about me like that.

Out of breath, I stop running. Energy is coursing through my body from the movement and thoughts. Making the walk backstage, a beautiful thought hits me.