I'll Make You Mine

Forty-four

"Tyler stop! You're such a weirdo!" I laughed as he continued to tickle me for the remote. We were downstairs in the den not really watching tv, just goofing off.

"Give it to me then!" He laughed.

"Sorry I have a boyfriend." I giggled.

He rolled his eyes with a smile and whacked me on the arm. "Leave it to you to make everything sound perverted."

We both laughed. "Are you ready for senior year?" I asked on a serious note.

"Am I ready for senior year? Yes. Am I ready to go back to school? Hell no."

I laughed. "More then anything, I'm just ready to graduate." I said with a sigh.

He shrugged. "I guess I am too."

"Where do you plan on going afterwards?"

He shrugged. "I've applied to Duke, all the way to the University of California."

"California? That's pretty far." I didn't like the thought of my best friend being all the way across the country.

"Maybe to you. I wanna travel, go new places, see new things."

I smiled a little. "You're serious?" He nodded. "Well, I...wish you the best?"

He laughed and pulled me into him. "Don't sound so sad, senior year hasn't even started yet." I nodded. "What about you? Where do you wanna go?"

Where did I wanna go, or where was Hunter going? "I don't, really know. NC State sounds like a really big go."

He rolled his eyes. "Isn't that where Hunter goes?"

I cast my eyes down, was I that sad? "Yeah."

"Maggie, you can't let some guy dictate where you're future is going."

"But he's not just some guy Tyler, he's the love of my life."

"Maggie, you're only 17, how could you possibly know that?"

"Why are you trying to talk me out of this? Where ever he is is where I wanna be." I was a little on the defensive side now.

"Really? What if you guys break up?"

"We won't."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I just do okay!" He was putting a lot of pressure on me.

"Doesn't sound like you do. You realize you won't be the only woman in his life, he's got a family now, and newsflash, it doesn't include you." His words had came out a little harsher then he intended, but it was enough to make me feel bad.

I wiped at my eyes as his face fell, he'd realized the error in his words. "Mag-"

"Can you just, go please?" I tried to keep my voice from quivering, but I wasn't successful.

"Wait, I didn't mean that."

"Yes, yes you did. Please Tyler just go." I stood up and left him there, walking straight up to my room.

Could I really be mad at him? I mean, he was completely right. Hunter did have a family coming, and there was no place for me in it. I was only 17, in no way was I ready to deal with anything like that. This was something a married older couple dealt with, not a 17 year old girl with her first serious boyfriend.

Ergh! Why did everything in my life have to be so terribly screwed?! I just wanted to be able to enjoy summer vacation. When I sat there on my back porch eating ice cream with Sarah waiting on Hunter to arrived, which felt like ages ago instead of just two or three months ago, I had not been expecting all of this, at all.

I wiped at my eyes and sat down in front of my vanity. "What are you doing Maggie?" I sighed with a shaky breath.I was completely delusional to think I had a chance.

I cried for at least an hour, why? Many reasons. Reasons that I didn't want to admit to or think about.

******

"Babe, are you sure you're okay? You've been really quiet." Hunter noted. We were sitting on the beach watching the sun set, I was sitting between him with my head resting on his chest.

I sighed. "Yeah I'm fine."

"So I have stupid written on my forehead now huh?" He said with a low chuckle.

I sighed. "Really I'm fine."

"Maggie, what is bothering you, you seem upset. Did I do something?"

I frowned. "No, no it's not you."

"So it is someone then yes?" I ran my hands through the sand and said nothing. "Babe, talk to me, who upset you, what's got you like this?"

"Tyler and I..." I sighed, unable to tell him what I was actually upset over since it kind of involved him.

"Do I need to kick his-"

"No. What he said was the truth though."

Hunter sighed. "What did he say?"

I shrugged. "The truth."

"Margaret."

I huffed. "We were talking about our futures, and basically, he made me realize that I can't be a part of yours."

"What? Not this again, geez I really hate that kid." Hunter huffed.

"No, but Hunter he's right. I don't even know what college I want to go to, the only thing I was dependent on was the fact that I wanted to be where ever you were. But what about my dreams? What about what I want to do? I don't even know what I want because all I can think a out is you!"

"And I love that babe, I don't ever want you to stop thinking about me."

"But you won't be thinking about me Hunter, you have your own kid to worry about now. How is that fair to me?!"

I got up and Hunter followed me back down the path to my house. "Maggie, why worry about that before its time, babe, right now, I'm all yours."

"Exactly. You've proved my point. Right now Hunter, this is the right now. Is that all I get, is right now? Hunter my heart can't take that. It can't."

"Maggie, I love you, is that not enough? I've given you my everything-"

"And I've done the same Hunter, I love you, so much, to the point where it makes my heart hurt, literally. Is that what love is supposed to feel like, is love supposed to be painful, stressful? Geez Hunter, I know I can take a lot, but some things are just too much. And us," I gestured at the space in front of us. "Us is a headache, I can't keep doing this, I don't want to keep doing this." I cried.

"Maggie, what are you trying to say?" His voice broke.

My eyes fell to the ground, I couldn't and didn't want to look him in the eyes. "Hunter," I sniffed. "I'm saying I want to break up."