Hard Boy ✔️

73

- Can I Be Him; James Arthur - 

Aurora Holland

I've never been the one to attend parties. At least, on my own anyway. Paige had always taken me to one or two back in Point Prep, but I was more on my own than I was here. It was like she knew there was no changing my ways or what others thought of me when we were back there, but here? She had full access to turning me into someone I'm not.

That probably explains why shortly after I moved here, our relationship deteriorated - quite quickly at that.

Paige had immediately insisted I change the way I am, going to parties, wearing makeup and clothes you usually wouldn't see me in. Still, she failed to realize I'd already begun to figure out the person I was meant to be and she was trying far too late to have too much of an influence on me.

That being said, I've never really attended a New Year's Party. I still attended the ones my parents had and still forced Jason to attend, the ones where they drank wine or champagne of their choice and gave us kids that sparkling grape juice so it seemed as if we were drinking along with them.

I sat at the kids' table every year, silent in my thoughts as everyone around me mingled. Sometimes Jason would talk to me because he was bored and felt bad, and I let him. He was my brother after all, but then again I knew it was purely out of pity and he knew deep down I didn't have any friends.

Now, things are different.

I've now moved away from being Paige's little Barbie doll, and instead have found myself more than I had before moving here. Of course, I think I always knew myself, but I'm more confident that I'm not weird or a loser because I'm more into art and romance movies than partying and alcohol.

Parties aren't a complete no from me now that I've been to my fair share of them, but the idea of attending Ashley Wilde's New Year's Bash didn't give me the best feeling one would think. Usually, the idea of getting an invitation to the most popular girl in school's party would excite you, letting you think that for just once - for one night - you were one of them.

Unfortunately, not for me. I'm simply going because I want to put everything past me. I want to live my life without worrying about whether Ashley and her minions, the Jackson brothers, or even Paige will be there. I want to be able to spend time with my best friend without cowering away whenever Maya or Gwen come up and talk to her. I want to be able to be content with hanging out with my best friend's boyfriend - who is also one of my closest friends - without worrying if his best friend will be there.

I can't move on and live my life if I continue to act as if I'm a hurt little victim who doesn't get any love. I accept the fact that Carter and I aren't meant to be, and I accept the fact that Logan only wanted me because he liked the idea of me. I accept that the all-mighty Jackson brothers aren't who everyone makes them out to be, and I choose to not let that affect my life any longer.

Not to mention Elijah wouldn't leave me alone until I agreed to go, so there's that.

 A knock on the door caught my attention, and I glanced back at Katherine who had been sitting at the edge of my bed waiting while I finished getting ready. She sent a glance my way before standing up to get the door.

I put my attention back to the mirror in front of me, making sure none of the makeup I applied was smeared. 

It was different than my usual makeup routine, but it didn't look bad. Instead of just the usual foundation and mascara, I decided to add a little nude-colored eyeshadow along with a small winged eyeliner. It definitely causes the blue in my eyes to pop, but at the same time, it's nothing dramatic in the way that Paige or even Katherine does her makeup.