Hard Boy ✔️

32

- Bloom; Troye Sivan -

Aurora Holland

Silence filled the car, not even the radio or Elijah's party music filling the tension. Nobody said anything, not even Elijah -- who usually always had something to say. I know I screwed up by the way when I'd look at Carter, he wouldn't even send me glances as he drove.

Before, he was constantly making eye contact with me. For some stupid reason, that had given me hope that maybe, just maybe he had a crush on me as well. I know I'm delusional, and I'm beginning to sound like Paige.

The fight with my cousin replayed in my head over and over again, and although I'd thought the alcohol had left my system the moment she said the words she did, I soon realized it hadn't as the car began to move.

I felt slightly queasy at the movements, feeling even worse anytime we braked roughly or went over any speed bumps. My stomach was definitely beginning to regret the alcohol I consumed, despite the fact that it was almost nothing compared to some of the others.

My palms pressed against my closed eyelids, trying to sort my thoughts out. I had a headache, my stomach hurt, and my chest hurt. My feelings were hurt more than anything else, but I knew that would be a problem for another time.

The last thing I needed to do was trauma dump to the group sitting in the car right now.

My palms continued to stay pressed to my eyes, ignoring the fact that I was in a car with other people right now. I felt like shit because not only did I cause Carter to get into a fight with someone, but I ruined the party for everyone and said things I'd never done before.

I've never been the type to just up and say the things I said to Paige. Not only that, the way I said it was unacceptable. I've done so well at keeping things to myself and taking my emotions out in other ways. I've never blown up on anyone like that, but it seems to be a reoccurring instance as it was my mother first and now Paige.

I've gone completely psycho since I moved to Riverway, no doubt about it.

Eventually, I felt the car come to a complete stop. I looked over to see we were at an unknown house, and I watched Cameron and Griffin exit the car. I don't know whose house it was, but it was very similar to the size of mine.

"See you guys later," Griffin spoke up first, unsure of what to say.

"Hey," Cameron then spoke up, poking his head through my rolled-down window. I don't even remember rolling it down, but then again someone else could've done it in case I decided to hurl everywhere. "It'll be okay, okay?" He softly asked.

I wasn't too sure if anyone else could hear, but I just looked between his pretty eyes with what I would assume was a look of sadness. Sadness was all I felt, so I wouldn't be surprised if I looked like a child right now.

"It won't, but thank you." I softly spoke, the first time I talked since Elijah brought me to the car.

"It will," He said, glancing around before looking back at me. "We heard everything, and we heard what Paige said. We're not on her side at all."

"I don't want sides," I admitted honestly, looking down at my lap. I scratched at the healing cuts, although they weren't very healed thanks to the fight with my mom yesterday.

Cameron didn't say anything, only nodded before stepping away from the van. They said one last goodbye to us before we pulled away, Carter not waiting until they got inside the house. He seemed to be in a rush, and it made me wonder how mad he was exactly.