Hard Boy ✔️

58

- tear myself apart; Tate McRae -
- because i liked a boy; Sabrina Carpenter -
- Monster; Shawn Mendes ft. Justin Bieber -

Aurora Holland

"I'm glad I was able to convince you to hang out with Lex and me," Logan commented. He glanced over at me from the driver's seat, his brows pushing together as he saw me staring down at my hand.

The scratches had returned, worse than ever. I haven't been able to eat, sleep, or even think barely. My thoughts have been so consuming because of everything happening, especially after Carter had the nerve to try and talk to me after he broke my heart.

Even if he lost whatever 'feelings' he acted like he had, he should've just ended it before things got as intense as they did. Maybe I was looking too much into whatever was going on between us, but he made it seem like he was into me.

After almost a week of hiding out in my room, missing two days of school and constantly stressing myself out to the point where I was throwing up, I decided enough was enough. I've been shutting every single one of my friends out all because I'm butthurt that Carter doesn't like me like I thought. I've begun to almost ruin every single friendship I've made all because of some boy.

All because of a boy I liked that I never had a chance with in the first place.

"Are you still upset about me kissing you last week?" Logan then asked, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"No, no!" I quickly exclaimed, "I'm just- dealing, I guess." I muttered, scratching at my hand again.

Despite having enough of hiding out, being around my friends was much more challenging than expected. The only few I can handle being around without wanting to freak out - out of the ones I'm constantly talking to - are Miles, Quinn, and Guin.

Quinn and Guin are simply because I'm not around them nearly enough, but I'm around them more than I am Z or Naia. Miles is obvious, simply because no matter how much I tried to hide away he just didn't stop trying to comfort me.

Despite how cold I was, and how little I talked compared to normal. He didn't overdo it either, invading my space until I blew up. It was very much appreciated, and he's actually the one that inspired me to begin hanging out with my friends again instead of shutting them out.

After all, they didn't do anything. None of them - not even Elijah - knew about why Carter did what he did. I talked to Katherine and Elijah together, and it was quite unsettling to see Elijah so pissed off when I've barely seen him act any other way instead of goofy and even a little childish.

Although it's nice being around the friend group again, I really don't like that they're all treating me differently. They want to act like they aren't and that they're ignoring everything, but I know they're acting as if they're walking on eggshells around me. I don't want that. I want it to go back to the way it was before where they would treat me like they treat everyone else in the friend group, but instead, they're acting as if I'm some fragile child they need to keep safe.

I'm tired of being the fragile one. I'm tired of being the one everyone has to be careful around. It's not fair and I wish I could just stop and go back in time and change everything.

"I'm sorry," Logan said. "I know it's not my fault or anything, but I am. I guess I should've given you a warning before getting involved with Carter."

"You shouldn't have had to give me a warning, I should've known," I whispered. I didn't maintain any sort of eye contact, knowing the moment my eyes met his I'd get emotional. Well, more emotional than I already am.