Hard Boy ✔️

29

- Just Friends; Why Don't We -
- Bloom; Troye Sivan - 
- Personal; The Vamps ft. Maggie Lindemann - 
- Gotta Be You; One Direction -

Aurora Holland

I made sure everything in my room was organized. I'd gotten ready for the party early, after having texted Paige and saying I didn't want her to come over today. This was the first time she hadn't dolled me up for something like this, leaving me on my own to get ready.

My outfit was simple -- just a pair of blue jeans, a black cropped tank top, and a black high-top Converse. I had a creme-colored over jacket, but I know I'll end up getting hot and ditching it at some point.

My makeup ended up being somewhat simple as well, with just concealer, light eyeshadow, highlighter, and mascara. It was the best I could do, and I knew if I attempted to do anything intricate the way Paige usually does I'll end up looking stupid.

And the last thing I want to do is look stupid in front of Carter.

Maybe I'm stupid, but I'm letting this crush get to me. After last night when I swore I wasn't going to let it happen, I'm not able to help it. I've never been as intimate with anyone as I have him, which says a lot considering we only cuddled.

We only cuddled.

God, just that thought alone was enough to make my cheeks burn with a blush. I covered my hands over my cheeks as if there were other people in the room, embarrassed I'm letting something so simple affect me so greatly.

Now that I've come to the realization that I'm crushing on someone who's completely out of my league, I want nothing more than to do something about it. Despite having thought I was in love with Asher in the way that I was, I never once acted out on it. I was far too afraid due to the fear of rejection, and although I'm still petrified that Carter's going to reject me, I can't help but want to impress him.

The way I felt when I woke up and I felt his hand rubbing my back, I wanted more. I've never felt anything like that before, the extent of affection I'd gotten only been what Elijah's been giving me -- which isn't a lot on top of the fact that it's strictly all friendly.

I know that I'm stupid for thinking the way I do, but it's hard when I haven't experienced much. I've only witnessed things on Television, or what I've seen Paige go through. I can't help it that now that I realize what I do, I've found myself falling harder and faster each and every second I'm around him.

I know I should turn the other way, considering this was Carter Jackson we were talking about. This was someone who has such a mysterious personality and is always off doing his own thing, not caring about what others thought. He's the absolute opposite of me, and I know that should be more than enough to scare me and although it does, I don't want to stop.

After organizing my art desk for the fiftieth time within the last ten minutes, I paced back and forth in my room. Carter was going to be here... tonight. He was going to be staying the night tonight, and I don't know if he wants to sleep in my bedroom or in the living room, but either way, it's still nerve-wracking.

I twirled the ends of my hair at my fingertips. I'd been doing everything I could to keep myself busy today; I showered, got dressed, did my hair and makeup, and even repainted my fingers the royal blue they were usually painted. I'd cleaned up my room, placing and replacing certain items that looked out of place.

I spent time cleaning my bathroom, putting clean towels up on the towel racks, and making sure all of my dirty clothes were put in the laundry basket. I even cleaned the window at the far end of my room and made sure my open-space closet was as organized as could be.