Hard Boy ✔️

57

- Heartbreak Girl; 5 Seconds of Summer -
- Breakaway; Kelly Clarkson -
- Let It Go; James Bay -

Aurora Holland

"Do you think this looks a little lopsided?" Elijah asked me as he pushed his ceramic bowl in my direction.

I know that he doesn't really care. Not once has Elijah ever actually asked me if I think something's off or sideways, as he thinks as long as he does his best that it's perfect. This in a way is true, but it still doesn't change anything.

I glanced at the bowl, shaking my head. It definitely was, but considering he was trying to start a conversation I didn't bother to give my honest opinion.

My opinion doesn't really matter anyway.

Elijah sucked in a sharp breath, tugging the bowl back in front of him. I didn't meet his eyes and instead just stared at my unfinished work, my thoughts too wild to bother with any type of school project.

"What's bothering you, Ror?" He asked softly.

It was different than the Elijah that I was used to. I was used to the goofy, wild, and intense Elijah. The one that kissed my cheeks and the top of my head, the one that didn't care whether I was open to hugging. The one that made our friendship blossom and helped me come out of my shell a little bit.

This Elijah was soft. Softer than usual. He was constantly looking over at me with side glances, seeming to be too afraid to touch or say anything. He definitely knew something was up - everybody did.

But nobody knew what.

What was I supposed to say? That I'm stupid? That I misread that Carter had feelings for me and that even though I'd been thinking there was something between us, there wasn't. There isn't and never will be because just like with Asher - I'm just a girl with a hopeless crush.

Isn't that weird? How someone can want something so bad, but it may just not be meant for them? I think that's how love is with me. I've never known love, but I really thought I did love Carter.

Thought. Keyword.

I don't know anymore. I've begun to overthink every little thing he told me yesterday. He's probably right. We haven't known each other long enough, and despite the fact that I feel feelings with him I never felt with Logan or Asher - it doesn't mean it's love.

I've read a lot online lately. Stuff about how you can confuse lust with love especially when you've never experienced either.

Also, a lot of people who are big about romance and stuff - the way I am - seem to never get it. They don't get their happy ending, and I think that's what I'm most afraid of.

Elijah placed a hand over mine, causing my eyes to snap down to where they sat. My hands had been sitting on the desk - completely still - not even bothering to begin my work on my ceramic pot we're working on in Ceramics.

The simple gesture was enough to get the waterworks going, and before I realized what was happening I felt a tear fall down my cheek.

There was no way I was going to cry in this class. I've already gotten too much attention for my own liking - which I'm still unsure as to where it's come from. But it doesn't matter, the point is I just don't want it. I don't want them to see that I'm completely stupid and I've let Carter Jackson break my heart, just like the rumors predicted.

The bell rang, and I've never felt more relieved. I snapped my hand away from Elijah's and scrambled to get my things together. The quicker I get away from his constant questioning and stare - the better.