The beginning

Chapter 35

TW ahead!

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Amelia's POV:

"Are you sure you don't want us to come? We can cancel our plans?" Madison asks me as she is pacing back and forth. "It's okay go and enjoy your day with Nick and the fam. Last night got pretty late and you don't see them everyday. Lizzie will be with me so I will be okay." I can see that she is still hesitating. I grab my bag and kiss the top of her head. "I will call you if it's otherwise okay? I might stay at Lizzie's or Florence if she still wants me after this.." I mumble the last part. "She will not go anywhere, Lia. Promise you will call if it's too much?" she asks me and I nod. "I will now go and have fun it's already 4pm we slept the whole midday." I chuckle as I walk towards my car. Yes I finally got my car, it's a Mercedes G wagon. I get in and text Lizzie I'm on my way and she replied that she will open the gate. It's a short drive but man I'm loving my baby. I can't wait to do some roadtrips in this car. As said the gate is open and I park my car on their driveway. The gate closes behind me and I walk towards the front door, grabbing the key Lizzie and Robbie gave me. I open the door and walk in and place my bag on the kitchen counter. It seems quite? I bet they're outside since it's a beautiful afternoon. I walk through the patio doors and see the twins, Robbie and Lizzie. "Look who finally decide to wake up." I roll my eyes at MK and she just gives me this playful smile. "Yeah yeah. You guys left early we didn't get home until 6am so shush." I walk back inside to grab a water bottle and check my phone. Florence texted me she will be there shortly. I reply back to her that the walking gate is open. I make my way back outside and sit down next to Ashley making the others huff. Robbie chuckles as he kisses the top of Lizzie's head. "Uhm Lia do you want me to leave once Florence is here?" he asks me carefully. Can I trust him? Will he look differently at me afterwards? Lizzie trusts him and he knows and suffers from anxiety, hence they even wrote books together about it. I should trust him right? 3 taps on my hand snap me back and I look at Ashley who is holding my hand. "There you are we lost you for a second." she gives me a small smile and I hum. "I-I think it's okay. Just please don't look at me differently or treat me different.. Same goes to you guys." I look at the twins and Robbie and they nod. "If you feel uncomfortable at any certain point you let one of us know and I will go okay? Thank you for trusting me enough to tell your story." I give him a small smile. The doorbell rings and Lizzie gets up letting Florence inside. As they walk outside I smile brightly at my girlfriend and make grabby hands. She chuckles and comes over to me and leans down kissing me. "Hi baby." she says against my lips. "Hi babe." I giggle. She sits down next to me but I stand up making her look confused, before she can say anything I peck her lips. "I just need to use the restroom and u-uhm after that we can talk okay?" she nods and I see she's still confused but leaves it for now. I walk to the bathroom and take a few deep breaths. I can do it, Lizzie is here there's no need to be scared. I wash my hands and go back to the others. Lizzie stands up and cups my face. "Are you sure?" I hum not wanting to go into it. "Do you want to sit with me?" I look at her and nod carefully. "please.." I whisper and she nods. She guides us over to the small couch and makes me sit down as she sits next to me. "Can I touch you or no?" I shake my head not really sure if I want anyone touching me right now. She nods and grabs me the water bottle as I take a few sips I can see Florence looking worried. I sigh deeply and start tapping my leg as I feel the nerves and memories spiking. Here goes nothing..

"I-I u-uhm I'm not sure where to start but I-I will try my best okay?" I stutter and mentally curse myself for letting it have such an affect on me. They nod and I look over at Lizzie as I start picking the skin around my fingernails. "I'm scared.." I whisper. "Oh baby.. It's going to be okay" she says softly. I shake my head and start picking my skin harsher. She carefully lays her hand on top of mine and separates them, after that she lets them go. "So u-uhm you know me and Ashley broke up right? Ash overheard a convo of me and Kendall a few weeks earlier about me having to leave to Europe. Her insecurities took a toll on her but she pushed away her feelings and kept it inside a long time, afraid I would call her at any moment to call things off between us. One night I had to work later and came home, as I walked upstairs I saw Cara on top of Ashely making out. I left instantly and went over and stayed the night at Mads. What I didn't know until a few weeks ago is that Cara took advantage of Ashely that night. She broke in, saw a note Ash left for me that she would be upstairs and forced herself on her as soon as she heard me walking in. When I came back the day after I was ready to forgive her and to talk it out. I had a talk with Madison about a permit visa because I didn't wanna leave her all the time or that she'd have to come with me. But Ash broke up with me she couldn't bare the sight of me being so hurt by her. Her insecurity took the best of her and she thought it would be better if she broke up with me. After that I left to Europe pretty soon Mads and V, who's my best friend from Europe were with me the first week but they soon had to go to work again. As they went back I got an opportunity to join MGK his tour which was half done at that time. I took the job and after that one I went on tour with Drake. I didn't take any time for myself anymore. I-I uhm started using to cope. Not on work days but when I was free I took every chance to get high and sometimes use other stuff as well. As Drake his last show got finished w-we" I grab the bottle and take a few sips trying my best not to cry. Lizzie shuffles closer but I back away as I feel their hands touching me. "We went to a club. Mads, Nick and V joined me but they left earlier and I went on with the others. I saw Cara and every single moment just came back and hit me so I decided to go to another club, but little did I know everything was about to change. U-uhm some guys they spiked my drink. They followed me and the rest is a big blur. I-I" I look over at Lizzie as my lip is trembling begging her to help me. I feel my breathing picking up as she stands up walking towards me but at this moment I don't see Lizzie I see one of the guys hovering over me. "p-please stop.." I cry out. A hand on my knee is enough to make me jump up and stumble over as I'm trying my best to get out of this place. Someone grabs me making me beg them not to hurt me any further. I can feel the pain, I can feel their hands, I feel them touching me. The person holds me tighter and I feel numb. I'm back there. They found me and will finish what they want. I go numb in their arms stopping my fight in their hold. I stop kicking and punching as they're too strong for me. A hand cups my face making me flinch but I feel no impact. No sting. Only a soft stroke along my cheekbone. This is new, they never treated me like this. "B-baby come back. You're safe." a soft voice but it is like it's miles away. Another soft stroke, but this time it's warmer. The voice starts becoming more clearer as well. "Princess, you're okay. You're safe. Please come back to us baby, please." It sounds desperate and full of concern. As if someone hits my head I suddenly open my eyes looking straight into the eyes of a beautiful blonde. I blink a few times as my mind is processing where the fuck I'm and who I'm looking at but when I take a deeper look I immediately throw my arms around her neck. Florence. "Do-dont leave me there, please. Please don't leave me." I beg her as I start crying. She lifts me up carefully as I wrap my legs around her and keeping my hold as tight as possible afraid they will pull me away. "Breathe with me darling. In and out. Focus on my breathing can you do that for me?" she whispers in my ear tapping my back in a pattern. I lower one of my hands towards her chest close to her heart. She's real. I start focussing on her heart beat and breathing as she slowly guides me back. After what feels like forever she carefully lifts up my face and looks at me, tears rolling down her cheeks. "C-can I kiss your forehead baby?" I look around me as I see Lizzie crying in Robbie's arms, Robbie has a few tear stains as a red mark on his arm. D-did I do that? I look further and see the twins are muffling their sounds as they cover their mouths but I can still hear them. They look absolutely broken. I look back at Florence as I forgot to respond and slowly nod. "I need verbal consent, darling." she whispers softly. "y-yes" I croak out. Have I been screaming? God how long was I gone for? I feel Florence her lips against my forehead and I lean into the contact humming at the feeling. "I'm going to sit us down right now, okay? You can stay on top of me with this potion or if you want to sit any different that's okay  too." I nod and feel her sitting down I snuggle closer against her, I move my one hand underneath her shirt again close towards her heart. "H-how long?" I ask no one specific. Lizzie carefully sits down next to me as she taps my back 3 times, I nod too tired to remove my hand and look over at her. She hands me my water and I sigh removing my hand under her shirt as I turn around so my back is facing Florence's front. I grab the water bottle and take a few big sips. Man I feel dehydrated. Florence slowly wraps her arms around me and sneaks her hand underneath my shit caressing my stomach. I look at Lizzie and wipe away her tears. "I'm sorry." I whisper. She shakes her head and taps my hand 3 times, this time I tap hers back 3 times. She smiles softly and holds my hand giving it a soft squeeze. "35 minutes stuck. 55 minutes in total." she softly says and I sigh. "D-did I hurt you Robbie?" I look over at him as tears are welling up. "No. Amelia you didn't do anything. This was my own doing. You were going to fall but before Lizzie could say anything I wrapped my arms around you to. pull you towards me so you wouldn't fall. You freaked out and started fighting in my hold. It was not your fault. It was mine and only mine. I held you, we were afraid you passed out as your eyes were closed. Florence cupped your face to check if you fainted but you flinched as soon as she made contact with your face." he says with a lump in his throat clearly upset he triggered me. "I started talking to you shortly after you flinched and kept caressing you cheekbone and you slowly came back to us and now we are here." Florence adds as she kisses my shoulder. "What did they do to you baby.." she mumbles as her voice cracks. It's now or never Lia.