The beginning

Chapter 9

Ashley's POV:

After Scarlett and Elizabeth left I got in the car. Madison is in the back with Lia so I'll drive us back to her place. I'm not sure how I feel at the moment. Lots of emotions are swirling around and my thoughts are going crazy. I feel a soft tap on my shoulder so I look into the rear mirror. "It's not your fault Ash. I heard you, but it's not. It might feel like it but I promise it's not. Her anxiety got a little worse after the break I admit, but it isn't the reason for how it is now. She'll tell you eventually it's just not my place and I really don't want to break her trust. But talk to me" Mads says looking down at the sleeping girl on her lap. "How long" is the only thing I can say. "3 months after the break that's when it happened." she sighs. I hum not knowing how to respond. We arrive at Madison's place and I text Nick to open the door. I get out and help Madison with Lia. Nick looks confused when he opens the door and sees us with a sleeping Lia. Mads doesn't say anything and walks straight up to I assume Lia's room. I give Nick a small smile but he sighs softly after closing the door. "It happened again, didn't it?" he asks carefully. "I'm not sure what you mean with 'again' but she had a pretty bad panic attack and I guess her body couldn't handle it and she passed out. She's been out for 20 minutes now but her breathing is more stable she seems asleep and Mads said she probably will wake up soon." I tell him while we slowly walk upstairs. "No Lia, they don't know a single thing. It's up to you not me. You said a quick bye and stumbled to the car, got in, got your panic attack and after that you passed out. Ash drove us back here and I carried you up to your room. None knows you don't have to worry." Madison assures. "A-are you sure? They didn't see it right? I don't mind if Ash saw it. Sooner or later I've got to tell her anyways. But please promise me Scar nor Lizzie haven't seen anything. Only you, Nick and Vic know" the raspy voice of my girlfriend asks. I raise my eyebrows in confusion about the part Vic and Nick know something. But knowing Madison can't promise her I quickly put on a soft smile and enter the room which makes Nick frown. "Hey baby, you scared me. Are you feeling better?" I kiss the top of Lia's head making her hum. Physical touch is definitely her love language. I smile and stroke her hair while she's leaning against me. "I'm sorry I scared you Ashy. It just got too much for my body, I guess." she shrugs her shoulders and looks up at me. "Next time you make sure to call one of us, okay?" I cup her face looking back at her. She nods and smiles. "Can we watch some movies in the living room?" she asks trying to be excited but I notice something is holding her back. She knows. She knows Madison can't promise. Gosh this is harder than I thought. I nod and hold out my hand for her to take. She holds my hand and stands up. Slightly wobbling she walks with me to the living room making sure to pat Nick his chest while walking past him. "And here I thought I only would've seen you walking like that after you've had sex for hours" he chuckles. Lia laughs and flips him off continuing to walk to the living room. "AfTer YoU'vE hAd SeX fOr HoUrS" she mocks him. I giggle and poke her side softly making her look up at me. She smirks and falls down on the couch pulling me on top of her. "The lovebirds are upstairs making out why don't we do the same huh?" she smirks wiggling her eyebrows. I playfully hit her chest but look deep into her eyes. I know she's in a vulnerable state right now and I really don't want to take advantage of it. I kiss her slowly "How much I love the idea of making out with you I don't want to right now. You just woke up out after being passed out for twenty minutes and I really don't want to take advantage of that." I tell her kissing her one more time. She smiles and her eyes tear up. "Thank you. I love you Ashy" she says kissing my cheek. "I love you too, Lia. Let's snuggle and watch something to kill the time, it will probably take some time for them to come down." I grab the remote and open Netflix to watch some friends. I snuggle close into the comfort of my girlfriend focussing on her heartbeat and trying to calm down my mind. As if she notices I'm tense she slowly rubs my back up and down underneath my shirt. I hum and grib her shirt tight afraid this moment will be ruined. "Close your eyes Taco. I've got you and I ain't going anywhere" she whispers in my ear and kisses my cheek after. I close my eyes and focus on her heart beating stumbling into a nap.