The beginning

Chapter 4

Amelia's POV:

I look up at Ash slowly rubbing her back. She avoids my eyes and is playing with my necklaces. She sighs and looks up. "So you probably wonder why I wanted to break up right? To be honest I don't have an answer on that. Because in reality I didn't want to break up with you.. I only did it to protect you, me and us. I'm sorry that I didn't talk to you about this but when I had the guts it was too late. You were gone and I couldn't reach out to you." She says while looking back down. I wanted to say something but she nodded her head no and looks me in my eyes. "Don't. Not yet. You need to hear all of it." she says while starting to play with my necklace again. I nod at her and lower my hands on her legs to hold her steady. "It was a couple of weeks before we broke up that something had happened. I overheard a conversation of you and Kendall. It was about you leaving LA and staying in Europe for a long time. I panicked and I thought you wanted to break up with me.. So instead of talking I pushed my thoughts away and pretend I didn't hear a single thing. It was almost a daily thought that you'd call me up one day to tell it's done and you're gone. Then the most stupidest ever thing happened.. Cara.. But it wasn't how it looked, please trust me in this one before you push me away.." she looks at me with glossy eyes while saying the last part. I hold my breath trying to get that night out of my head. I didn't wanna think about it but here I'm getting a reminder of my ex with her ex. I feel Ash slowly tapping my cheeks. I look up at her seeing tears strolling down her cheeks. "Breathe, pickle. Breathe. I'm sorry but I have to tell you all of it and not just what you saw." She says softly while wiping my tears with her thumb. I nod not able to form any words. I start tapping her legs in a same pattern while I'm trying to get the images out of my head. "P-please go on." I say trying not to break. Ash kisses my forehead and grabs my hands in hers while softly rubbing small circles over my knuckles. "I'm sorry Lia, I really am but you need the truth not just an image.. So yes Cara happened. 4 days before we broke up she called me asking for another chance, telling me how me and her are better and that I'm better off without you. I denied her immediately and told her to fuck off and leave us alone. But Cara being Cara didn't listen. So the day before we broke up, I wanted to surprise you and tell you about what I overheard. I made us dinner and made sure everything looked so goddamn romantic. You called me telling me you'd to work a little longer and probably miss dinner but told me to eat so I wouldn't starve." She says with a small chuckle. I chuckle with her and look up remembering the moment calling her a crazy grumpy hungry ashy bear if she didn't eat on time. She smiles at me knowing what I'm thinking about. 

"So after we hang up I indeed had dinner. I put the leftovers in the fridge cleaned the kitchen out and thought why not surprise you in bed? So I left you a quick note that I'd be in the bedroom waiting there for you. I might had hoped we would have some intimate time after our vulnerable talk so that's the only reason I wore that when you walked in. I want you to remember that clearly." She says cupping my cheeks. "That set was for you, and you only. Not her, not anyone else but YOU." She tells me holding eye contact making sure I will not doubt that. I nod and kiss the palm of her hand so she'll continue. I can't form words anyways. "After I dressed up I didn't lock the doors. I went straight upstairs and waited in our room while watching some TV. I heard some noise downstairs thinking it would be you. So I got up, grabbed my rope and put it around me so it would be a surprise. I went back to bed and made myself comfortable waiting for you. I heard steps on the stairs slowly getting to our room. I felt so nervous because of what I overheard and that I'd tell you about it that I didn't even notice it wasn't you but Cara. So yes I said Hi Baby, I missed you.. But Lia please I really thought it was you." She says holding my hand tight and with her other hand she wipes her own tear away. I wipe my own tears still remembering this night as yesterday. flashbacks of that night are filling my mind. I just got home after a good talk with Mads about a new tour in Europe but I told her I'm not sure if I want to leave right now since I was working on getting a permit visa to stay in the US. This way I didn't have to leave Ashley all the time and she didn't have to come with me and we wouldn't be separated for months. I was so excited to tell her this. I went inside, taking off my jacket and went to the kitchen. I saw her cute little note "I'm in the bedroom waiting for you. Hope we can talk there. I love you so much Pickle xo your taco." I made my way upstairs and then I heard her say "Hi baby, I missed you" I smiled and went to go inside but gosh I wish I never did.. There they were Cara and Ashley. Cara was on top of Ashley making out taking off her robe leaving Ash in this breathtaking red lace set. I tried not to cry and made my way downstairs after slamming the door. I grabbed my car keys and went to Madison's.