I stroke his back as he groans deeply into my shoulder. I kiss his cheek softly. I feel something warm inside me. I look down.
I smile as his body collapses onto mine. He pants out of breath. "You okay baby?" He asks. "Yes" I smile wider. He kisses my neck softly.
He pulls out of me slowly. I reach down and pull the condom off of him. I toss it into the bin. He lays between my legs with his head on my chest. I run my fingers through his sweaty hair.
"I love you" he says. "I love you" I rub his back gently. "Derek!" Carolyn yells from downstairs. He sighs. "don't go" I say. He sighs, getting up.
"Baby!" I sigh, sitting up. "I'll be right back.. just don't move, okay?" He kisses me. I nod. He puts on his clothes before leaving the room.
He comes back in shortly after. "Babe!" I smile, holding my arms open. "Did you miss me?" He chuckles, climbing back ontop of me. "So much" I kiss his cheek playfully. We both laugh.
He doesn't know that I've seen the scars on his thighs. I think he's tried to cover them up with makeup but I can see them. I know they're new.
I feel like crying so hard right now. He told me he wouldn't do it again. He promised me. I don't understand why. What happened..
"Babe, I wanna hang out with you tomorrow.. actually, can I stay here this week please?" I ask. "Of course you can, my love" he smiles brightly. I smile. I can be here, watching him.
"Baby" I say. "Mhm?" He asks. "How are you?" I ask. "I'm good.. I'm with you" he says. "What about when you're not with me?" I ask. He pulls away and looks at me.
We look into eachothers eyes for a few seconds. "Meredith" his voice softens. "Its okay" I put my hands on his cheeks. "I'm sorry" he says. "Its okay baby" I whisper.
He gets off of me, sitting up. I sit up and wrap the covers around my naked body. "Don't leave me" he says. "I'm not going to leave you" i hold his hand.
"You said you would" he says. "That won't help anything though, will it?" I sigh. "You weren't supposed to see" he sighs. "I know" I say.
"I love you no matter what, baby" I whisper, putting my hands on his cheeks. "Even if I'm broken?" He whispers. "You can heal.. slowly" I look into his eyes. He kisses me.
I hug him tight. "I'm scared" I say quietly. "Don't be.. I'm not going anywhere" he says. "Promise" I whisper. "I promise you, my love" he kisses my cheek.
He lays down. I move down his body and sit between his legs. I slowly pull down his pyjama bottoms.
I grab some wipes and wipe the makeup off of the scars gently. "Is this mine or your mom's?" I ask. "Yours" he grins slightly. I chuckle softly.
I run my fingers over the scars very gently. He just watches me. I lean in and kiss him deeply.
He gently pulls me ontop of him. "You do realise that if you go, then I go, right?" I ask. He chuckles softly. "I'm not kidding.. I care more about you than I do about myself" I giggle softly. He smiles.
"It hurts me that you're hurting" I whisper. "I know it does" he sighs. "Why can't you stop? You can't even stop for me?" I say tear up. "No.. stop, don't get upset" I kiss her cheek where the tears fall.
"I love you.. I love you so much" she hugs my neck. I hug her back tight, pulling her onto my lap. I hold her until she falls asleep.
