I stroke his hair gently. Tears well up in my eyes as I watch him sleep. "Babe" I shake him awake. He opens his eyes.
"Mhm, what's wrong?" He looks at me. "Nothing" I say. I kiss his lips softly.
I stayed at the hospital for the first time last night. "Baby" he says. "I'm scared" I whisper. "Of what?" He asks. "Everytime I close my eyes, I just see you covered in blood and-" I tear up again.
He hugs me tight. I sob quietly into his shoulder. "I'm so sorry that you saw that.. I really didn't even think that you'd be the one to have to find me" he whispers.
I pull away slowly. "It hurt so much.. every single day it literally physically hurt me" I whisper. "I'm sorry" he says tearfully. I sniffle.
"Its my fault.. I yelled at you and broke up with you and- and-" I cry quietly. "No! Its not your fault" he says. The machine bleeps louder as his heart rate increases. "Der, calm down" I whisper.
"I let you down.. I'm sorry.. I'm really sorry" he hugs me tight, pushing his face into my shoulder. The machine bleeps louder. "Shh.. shh, babe its okay" I stroke his hair gently.
I pull away. "I'm fine, see? I promise" I wipe my tears. The machine bleeps quieter. I let out a small breath. I wipe his tears.
"I won't do it again" he says. "I'll never forgive you if you do.. and I mean it" I say. "I won't" he says. I hug him.
"I need you, derek.. lots of people need you" I mumble into his hair as he pushes his face into my chest. "We're gonna get married" I lay down. He rests his head on my chest, lying between my legs.
"And have kids when we're a bit older" I say. "Really? How many?" He asks. "Mhmm.. two?" I say. "Three" he says. "Okay, three" I giggle.
"And we'll live in a big house.. in an amazing neighbourhood that goes all out for Halloween so you can see all the decorations and we can go trick or treating with the kids" I play with his curls. "Mhm" he says.
"And you have to be here for all of that to happen" I say. "I know" he says. "Look" I say. He pulls away, looking into my eyes.
I put my hands on his cheeks. "You are the love of my life.. without you, I'll probably be alone forever" I whisper. "I'd never want that" he says. "I know" I whisper. He kisses me.
"But you deserve so much better than me" he says. "That's not true! I don't understand derek, you're the most confident guy in the world.. why is it suddenly changing?" I ask. "Its a cover" he says. I sigh.
"I think youre perfect" I say. "I'm definitely not" he shows me his bandaged arm. "Baby, you are perfect" I put my hand on his cheek.
"You'll always be perfect to me" I whisper. "I'm so lucky to have you.. thankyou for not giving up on me" he hugs me. "Of course" I squeeze him gently.
"I love you" I say. "I love you more" he says. "That's not possible" I say. "Yes it is" he says. I shake my head. He nods. I smile. He smiles too. "God, I love that smile" I whisper.
"I would pay a million dollars to see you smile" I kiss him softly. "I don't need the million.. just you" he hugs me tighter. I smile wider, closing my eyes, just enjoying being in his embrace.
