Two Months Together

Questions; With Answers Like Titanic

Chapter Four:

Claire's POV

It has been 4 weeks since I had first arrived in Santa Fe. Meeting Taylor and his family had been the best thing that could have ever happened to me. We had spent practically everyday together, Taylor and I, since that one day when we went into town for the first time.

My mom would sometimes ask the question if I liked Taylor in that way. I then would say.. "Mmm... I don't know." She would then look at me with that "motherly interested look" then walk away.

One time during last week, I took a little peek out my window and saw him working out in his room. I tried not to faint or whatever - yes, he was shirtless - but I was also puzzled by the fact of why was he working out on his vacation?

During our time together, girls and other fans would often trample us to the point of death, but we survived to tell all the tales.

I saw the kindness in his eyes as he would write autographs on their foreheads or shirts, or even just talking a bit to them. When it came time for pictures, I moved out of the way not wanting to intrude or anything. Taylor got a glimpse of me, apology in his deep hazel eyes, I smiled telling him that it's really fine and he turned back to look at the camera.

Once all of that was over, Taylor couldn't stop apologizing to me about everything.

I wish he would just stop it and just hear me out. Honestly, I am truly fine with him having to take time to be with his fans. Not like I was his girlfriend... So I didn't need to spend every freaking second with him.

Knowing that that's all we've been doing lately.

I still wasn't sure how he felt about me yet, but I knew I still had those deep feelings about him, though not wanting to tell him. I could tell that we were just going to be friends for a while...

Which... is fine with me. I didn't mind.

It was nice to have a best friend to hang out with...

Friends... Hmmm, how much I love that term. Ahh, I needed to pull myself together.

If he hasn't asked you out yet, then you know he wouldn't have feelings for you in that way. It's been four weeks and still nothing.

Yes, we have gone out. But not gone out. You get what I'm saying? We've only gone out for walks around the town, driven up to Albuquerque, hanging out in each of our houses for hours upon hours -until our parents would just invite whoever over for dinner, and swimming at his house...

It's been amazing. Everything that you could ever dream of has happened to me in less than four weeks..

I've told him almost about everything about myself, as he tells me. We are pretty honest with each other. Which is always a good thing for a friendship.

Today though, Taylor and I stayed behind while everybody else went into town for ice cream. Mom shot me a shocked expression before they left. Knowing that I absolutely love ice cream. But I really wanted to talk to Taylor for a while...

It was 5:30pm, the sun was just descending down the now illuminated orange sky. We sat on Taylors bed, staring out of his large window (which, by the way, had a huge view of my room. Great).

I sighed and looked down at my feet. He noticed. "You okay?"

I nodded slowly, taking a breath in. I knew what I was preparing for. We had never talked about our feelings before, but I thought that it was time. Time to finally find out if he feels the same way or not. I knew that if he didn't feel the same way, I would probably be heartbroken in a way.. though I would try to keep myself together so that it wouldn't ruin the friendship we already had.

"Taylor?" My voice sounded broken and raw.

"Yeah?" I saw him take a small peek at me. His eyes looking almost as nervous as mine. Like if he sensed what I was about to ask..

I cleared my throat and turned more to face him. "Um... You know that we've been spending a lot of time together..." I looked at him. He nodded. "And I think that we've become really close..." I was about to add to that before I saw his eyes widen, capturing my gaze. I swallowed and went on.

"As friends." I said more abruptly than I wanted to. He looked down at his hands, twining them nervously. "And I was just wondering.. if you thought of our relationship... as something else." My tone grew so soft, that I thought he couldn't hear myself at first.

Taylor took a minute before speaking. Thinking of the right words it looked like...

"Claire... From the first time I saw you, I thought you were absolutely beautiful." My heart sped up about two notches. "And I do like you. A lot. But.."

But what?

I crossed my legs, sitting fully on the bed now. What was he questioning?

He took a breath in. "But I don't know if us getting together would be the right thing.." his tone growing more huskier.

My heart sank. Like Titanic. Slowly and more painfully with each passing moment that I didn't take a breath.

I sighed. "Um, okay. If that's what you think, then that's perfectly fine with me..." I was breaking apart inside. I tried not to let it show on the outside, but a small tear escaped my eye running down my cheek.

Taylor's face suddenly turned from sad to sympathetic. He pulled me into his arms instantly, comforting me.

"It's not you, Claire. I promise. It's just that I don't want you to get involved with all of my life.. My hectic life. You're amazing, and you strive for better things in life than just being with me in LA. I can't ruin your life." I shot out of his arms. Shocked by his words.

"Taylor! You wouldn't ruin my life! How could you even say that?" Slightly alarmed by what he had just said.

"I just don't want you to get hurt.. Anything can happen in Hollywood Claire, and I just don't think I want you... to experience that.. I want your life to be full and exciting and everything that you ever hoped for. Your dreams of being on So You Think You Can Dance.." He reminded me of my one and only goal in life. To get into the Top 20 on my favorite dance show..

I shook my head, a few more tears spilling out. "Taylor, to be honest, I've had the best time of my life here. With you. Remember? I don't care about Hollywood or celebrities or any of that. I only care for you. And your lovable personality, your smile, your beautiful laughter. You are my life." I spoke without thinking first. Stupid! I had just told him all my feelings towards him in about three seconds.

Taylor was staring at me, eyes full of almost shock but still keeping a hint of warmth. My mouth tensed as the silence continued, I sighed and stood up. Embarrassed of what I had just said to him. Why was I feeling this way? I had told him everything..

Everything that I wanted to say.

But still, I wasn't feeling that happy butterfly feeling that you get when you find out that your crush likes you back. I was almost feeling let down.

Why would he think that his life would ruin mine? Cause of the paparazzi and tabloids? I would ignore them with passion...

And we could be together.

"I have to go..." More tears were flowing out as my thoughts continued stirring. I stood in the doorway and looked at Taylor one last time. His head was in his hands. I had the urge to just run over to him and hug him till my arms hurt. But I stayed put. Only to feel pain in my chest.

I walked downstairs and out the door. Making my way across the lawn and into my own house. I ran down the hallway and into my room, slamming the door. I leapt onto my bed and cried silently. Turning my head, I looked out the window to see that Taylor wasn't there anymore. I sighed and looked at the clock. It was only 6:30...

Closing my eyes, I began thinking about our conversation again. Replaying his embrace around me over and over. How his arms molded around me protectively... I swallowed roughly, thinking about how it would be like if we were together...