Fight, Boy, Fight

Chapter 54

Sam said" Did you strip enough wire?"
Dean said" Yes, I stripped enough wire."
" All right." Sam did the thing and the lights came on,
" See? Told you." Bobby came in," Well, isn't this cozy?"
" Yeah. Well, Motel 6 just ain't leaving the light on anymore."
Bobby said" Well, I'm taking a page out of Frank Devereaux's bible on this. Everybody's out to get you- Paranoia is just plain common sense."
Dean said" Weeks, guys. Weeks. We've been living with cold showers, cold hot pockets, cold freaking everything. I mean, this is the bottom that we're living in. You guys get that, right?"
" How many big mouths are out there, running card traces, like Chet, or hunting us down god knows what ways? No, now's not the time to be laying our bed rolls out on the grid. Not if we can help it." Then I saw sparks, I hid behind Sam, crouching down.
" That's just great." Sam turned on a lantern," This is stupid. Our quality of life is crap. We got purgatory's least wanted everywhere, and we're on our third The World's Screwed issue in, what, three years?"
" We've steered the bus away from the cliff twice already."
Sam said" Someone's got to do it."
" What if the bus wants to go over the cliff?"
" You think the world wants to end?"
" I think that if we didn't take its belt and all its pens away each year, that, yeah, the whole enchilada would have offed itself already."
Bobby said" Stop trying to wrestle with the big picture, son. You're gonna hurt your head. So, what's the guff?"
Sam said" Well, there's been a rash of sightings all over the southern pine barrens- A strange, fast-moving, human-like creature. Locals even have a name for it."
" The Jersey Devil? I thought that was just local tall-tale crap."
" The area's history of sightings goes back more than two centuries. Some accounts have it bat wings, others horns, a... a tail. And, uh, oh, yeah, a horse's head."
Dean said" The sketch looks more like a Chewbacca head."
Bobby said" Sounds kind of mixed up."
" Yeah, kind of like it should be fighting a Japanese robot."
Sam said" Well, mixed up or not, it sounds like it might just have a body count." I walked to Dean, and laid on top of him, moving my head to lay sideways on his stomach.
Bobby said" Camping high season harshed by human burrito?"
" Yeah. Something hung a camper up in a tree, then ate him alive right through his sleeping bag. His wife hasn't been seen, either. Plus, there have been four other missing persons reported in the last three weeks. State troopers- get this- are saying it's a rogue bear."
Dean said" Yeah, of course, when was the last time you saw a bear string up its own piñata?"
Bobby said" Something's out there in the woods. Hey, we're going honest to goodness wilderness hunting. I haven't used my .30-30 in a while."
" Okay, Davey Crockett, well, safari's gonna have to wait till tomorrow and after our suit-and-tie dance. We'll make sure this is not just some backwoods crackhead who likes to roll glampers."
" What the hell's a glamper?"
" Sam?"
Sam said" High-end camper. TV, AC, Wi-fi. Back to nature, zero inconvenience."
Bobby said" That's idiotic."
" Yeah. Some people just don't know how to live." I pulled Dean's arm over my head, I nuzzled my face under his jacket a little, closing my eyes.
———
I was rubbing my eyes as I followed Bobby into Biggerson's, I was so sleepy, I don't get good sleep, I have nightmares all night.
I heard Dean say" So?"
Bobby said" Well, I took a look at the cadaver- What's left of it. Not a happy camper. Don't have any stats on a Jersey Devil, but the bite radius on the vic's wounds- It's too small for a leviathan. And he's still got a ventricle and some change, so I'm doubt we're talking werewolf. And a wendigo don't leave no scraps."
" Hmm. Lunch?" I zoned out, my head hanging forward, eyes closed.

The waiter said" Sidewinder soup and salad combo goes to Big Bird. TDK slammer to Ken Doll." My eyes glowed, breathing heavier," Grilled cheese to Kidnapped." I started to raise my hand, Dean grabbed my arm." And a little heart-smart for creepy uncle."
Dean said" What is your problem?"
" You are my problem!" He walked away,
Bobby said" Oh, Brandon's got his flare all up in a bunch." My eyes went back to normal,
Sam said" Yeah. There goes his 18%."
Dean said" Anyway, the chief ranger- I don't think he believes in the Jersey Devil."
" Oh, by the way, did he seem a little, uh, stoned to you?"
" Ranger Rick? Yeah. Definitely growing his own on the back 40 and smoking all the profits."
" He did seem to think that there was something-"
" Oh, that is a good sandwich."
Bobby said" What the hell did you get?"
" New pepper-jack turducken slammer- Limited time only."
" Bunch of birds shoved up inside each other. Shouldn't play god like that."
" Hey, don't look at me sideways from that- that Chinese chicken geezer salad there, okay? This is awesome. Like the perfect storm of your top-three edible birds."
Sam said" All right, anyways, um... The Ranger did seem to think there was something out in Wharton forest."
Bobby said" Well, then I'd day it's safari time." My eyes closed, I zoned out again, pushing the plate away.