Fight, Boy, Fight

Chapter 47

S7 E1: Meet the New Boss
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I was screaming into the dark surrounding me, I was levitated then slammed down. I got back up, looking around,
I screamed" Who's doing that?!" Then I saw a figure in the distance, I tilted my head then ran for the figure...

I got there and saw me, but... not me, me from Hell, the me that changed everything.
He said" Hi, River!" My eyes glowed, I breathed heavily," Wouldn't do that here, you know, might hurt us."
I said" Where am I?!"
" In your melon, dodo! Cas drained our energy, our heart is barely pumping. What do we last remember?"
" Uh..." I squeezed my eyes shut then opened them," We were at Bobby's, Sam was down, Bobby and Dean were leaving... Sam woke up, he spoke to us... but I can't... I can't remember the words."
" Good. We remember enough."
" What's that supposed to mean?"
" Means we're probably gonna die again."
" Why can't I wake up?!"
" Because all the energy inside us has been sucked out, taken, we're grasping at straws now just to keep breathing."
" But Sam and Dean! They need me!"
" They need us! They just don't realize how strong we are yet, Cas does and that's bad."
" Cas wouldn't really kill me."
" Are you sure? Because your mind is saying something else."
" No... I'm not sure." I looked down then back up," Well, what can I do? I need to wake up."
" Wait, I guess. Let's cause trouble!" He held out his hands, raising himself in the air, he laughed as black smoke circled him.
" No! Stop it!" I raised my hand and he dropped," I don't wanna cause trouble, I just wanna be with my brothers!"
" They don't care about us, anymore, River! Betcha Dean's been dotting on Sam, this entire time! What do you think you're doing, probably lying in the safe cage in the basement."
" It's not a cage! It's a panic room."
" It's a cage! They locked Sam down there when he was out of control, just like they've done with you."
" No way! They trust me!"
" Dean said he trusted Sam too... but..." I gulped, then sat down, pulling my knees up to my chest, it was getting really cold." See, I'm right, you forgot what it's like to only have yourself to look after! You're weak!"
" I am not!"
" Yes you are! We are stronger as one! But you won't let me out!"
" Because you're a psychopath! All you wanna do is destroy things and cause trouble!"
" So, what's the problem with that?! That's all our brothers ever do! Destroy us! They sent you away, because they were scared of us!"
" No, they didn't! Don't say that!"
" It's the truth!"
" No, it's not!" Then another figure walked up, I saw me when I was 4, before I died... He smiled at me and looked at us,
" See, he's the brother they wanted! Quiet, little River! Well, we're not quiet and we're not little anymore! We're big kids now! We can hurt whoever we wanna!"
" No, we can't! That's not right!"
" So what?! Betcha they did a lot of wrong! We were in Hell for 360 years! We remember it all! Innocent, naive, little River died as soon as we landed in the pit!"
" So what?! We're still River! We still do the right thing!"
" Well, I don't wanna do the right thing, all I wanna do is survive!"
" We just gotta fight! We ran with him-" I pointed to little River, who was now sitting on his knees, watching us." I'm gonna keep fighting! Okay?! I'm never gonna stop fighting! Because that's all I can do to keep myself alive!"
" Well, then fight, boy, fight. Because sooner or later, it's gonna be survive, boy, survive!"
" How do I wake up?"
" I don't know... come on, Run, Boy, Run, let's go." He grabbed little River's hand, pulling him up, and they walked a few steps before disappearing. I gulped then looked around, I screamed as the darkness took hold of all my senses.
I screamed" Sam! Dean! Sam! Deeeean! Ahhhh!"

I screamed, struggling, then I heard running, I was choking on my own puke, gross!
I heard Dean say" River! River?!" I arms were cut free and I was turned over, the puke fell out of my mouth. I slumped against the arms of whoever had me, I breathed heavily." River? Hey, hey, buddy, hey..." I was pulled up, I saw Sam, Bobby and Dean, Dean rubbed my hair back and held my face in his hand.
Sam said" River, hey.. buddy, just take slow breathes."

After a few minutes, I calmed down, then immediately clung to Dean.
Dean said" Whoa, bud, you're alright. You're alright. Huh, hey, hey, tell me what happened? You good?"
I mumbled" Yeah."
" Yeah? That's all we get? No, no, I need more than that, Riv, what's happening to you?"
" He took all of my energy... I couldn't wake up, I'm sorry."
" Hey, no, no, you don't need to apologize, you didn't do anything wrong." He hugged me, kissing my head,
" I'm cold." Sam rubbed my arm,
He said" Dean, he's freezing."
Dean said" Then let's get him warmed up." He stood up, with me in his arms, carrying me, I saw that I was in the panic room.
I said" You don't trust me?" They looked at each other then to the panic room,
" No, no, River, that's not it. That room is warded down, nothing could get to you in there, you were safest in there."
" Why were my wrists tied down?"
" You'd have these... worse than seizures, buddy, you were hurting yourself, okay? So we had to tie down your arms." My head flopped against his shoulder," It doesn't matter anymore, we're gonna get you warmed up, and better, okay?"
" M'kay, De." I nuzzled my face against his shoulder, he sighed then walked up the stairs.

I was trying not to fall asleep, I was on the couch, I had on my sweatshirt, then hoodie, then one of Dean's flannels, then my blanket. But I was still so cold, I just couldn't get warm, my head fell into my arms.
I heard Sam whisper" Think he's okay?"
Dean whispered" Probably not, but you know what, he has a steady, strong heartbeat and I'm just gonna stick with that."
" Yeah, me too. We need to loop him in, and you can't just ship him off this time, okay? He needs looped in."
" I will, I just wanna see him get one good sleep, man. He runs on fumes, barely there fumes. This was the last kick he could take, he needs at least one good sleep before we loop him in to all of this Cas, God and Death crap."
" All right, yeah."
———
I woke up to being lifted up, I whined loudly, squirming. I was shushed,
I heard Dean whisper" Shh, River, just moving you to the car, don't worry. Not leaving you alone right now." My arms were wrapped around his neck, I dug my face against his neck before falling back to sleep.

I laughed as demons chased me, I slid into a crack and crawled through it, they were screaming at me.

I appeared back in the playground, I gulped, then saw Lilith, she snapped her fingers. Flames engulfed me, I screamed in pain, trying to get away but was strapped to the ground with barbed wire, I screamed" Ahhhh! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Ahhhh!"

I snapped away, breathing heavily, I looked around, it was dark and I was alone in the car. I gulped then grabbed Rexxy, holding him tightly, pulling my knees up as I shivered. I closed my eyes, I'm still so tired, I just don't have the energy, and I'm so cold... I drifted off again.
———
Sam said" You want some coffee with that?" It's early and Dean has whiskey, I was hiding behind the wall.
Dean said" It's 6pm. Somewhere."
" We got to hit the road. I mean, how are we supposed to get Cas to that lab by friggin' 3:59am?"
" We don't."
" What do you mean, we don't?"
" I mean, we can't bring the horse to water, and we can't make it drink. Why fool ourselves?"
" Dean, look, I know you think that Cas is gone-"
" It's 'cause he is."
" He's not! He's in there somewhere, Dean. I know it."
" No, you don't."
" No, I don't. But, look, I was pretty far gone sometimes myself, and you never gave up on me."
" Yeah, and it turns out that you're about the same open book as you've always been. Hallucinations? Really? I got to find out from Death?"
" What was I supposed to do?"
" How about not lie? How about tell me that you've got crazy crap climbing those walls?"
" Why? You can't help. You got a lot of pretty severe crap swinging your way lately, and-and I thought- What? I thought why burst the one good bubble you had left? It's under control."
" What? What, exactly, is under control?"
" I know what's real and what's not."
" Sam-"
" Dean, look, we can debate this once we deal with Cas."
" Yeah, you know how I'm gonna deal? I'm gonna stuff my piehole, I'm gonna drink, and I'm gonna watch some asian cartoon porn and act like the world's about to explode because it is. Hey. You gotta be kidding me. Massacre at the campaign office of an incumbent senator by a trench-coated man. There's security footage." They were quiet for a few seconds," Well, I think reaching Cas is, uh... out of the cards."

I was nearly asleep again, then I heard Cas' voice.
He said" I need help."

They left to fix what Cas did, to put the souls back in purgatory before it's too late. They left me at Bobby's because they wanted to keep me safe and Dean said I'm too weak to take a hit right now.