Donald Na X Gravy [And Other Short Stories]

Rapunzel

Once upon a time, there was a couple who desired a child. The wife eventually became pregnant. She would often sit by the window and stare at the neighbor's garden, which was filled with lettuce. Her watching led to her yearning for the lettuce's taste for some weird reason. 

This led the husband to sneak into the neighbor's garden and steal a head of lettuce. Unfortunately, the neighbor was an evil witch and caught him red handed. The husband begged for forgiveness so the witch struck a deal: the husband could take as many heads of lettuce as he wants in exchange for their child.

Since parents didn't really exist in the canon Weak Hero universe, the husband agreed. The wife was not upset by the deal at all because hey, they could just have another child after their firstborn. Plus, she'd be able to eat all the delicious lettuce she wants.

The child was born and the witch immediately took the boy away before the parents could even hold him. The witch decided to name the boy Rapunzel after the lettuce his biological mother craved and raised him. Once he turned seventeen, the witch locked him up in a tower with the only opening being a window.

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair!" The witch called so that she could climb up the boy's long, luscious, black hair. She hadn't cut the boy's hair a single time since he was born, so it was extremely long.

"No,"

The witch was silent for a few moments. "I said to let down your hair, Rapunzel!"

"Fuck off!"

"Rapunzel!" The witch yelled. "Let down your hair this instant or you'll be sorry!"

"I don't want to be called Rapunzel," The boy stared down at the witch from the window. "I decided that my name will be Dongha Baek. Or better yet: call me Ghost! And I'm not letting my hair down because you'd use it to climb up,"

"That's the point," The witch told him. "Now let down your hair!"

"Do you know how painful that'd be on my scalp, head, and neck?" Dongha pointed out. "Just get a rope ladder like a normal person,"

"I am your mother!" The witch shouted. "You will obey me! Now let down your hair so I can get up there!"

"You're a witch," Dongha reminded. "Use your magic or something," He stuck his tongue out. "I'm not letting you touch my beautiful hair with those grubby hands,"

The witch huffed before storming away. 'I won't visit him for a long time so he'll be all alone. He'll learn to respect me since I'll be the only interaction he'll have. He'll never leave that tower so he won't have any social interaction except when I'm around,'

XXX

"I'm bored," Dongha whined. "Ugh, I've read all these books a gazillion times! There's nothing left for me to do here!" 

So, Dongha decided to leave the tower. He cut off his hair to a bit above his waist so it'd be more manageable and wouldn't drag along the ground. He used the hair he cut off as a rope to climb down the tower. 

"Freedom!" Dongha cheered as he ran through the forest.

XXX

After about and hour of running, he bumped into someone. "Yo, I'm Dongha," He greeted.

"..." The person Dongha had bumped into appeared to be a boy around his age with broad shoulders and muscles. 

"Hey, you should introduce yourself," Dongha folded his arms.

"..."

"You don't talk much, do you?" Dongha asked.

"..."

"Of course you won't reply to me..." Dongha mumbled. "Hey, there's a picture of you!" He grabbed a nearby wanted poster that had been pinned to a tree. "WANTED: Seogmok Do. That's your name? Seongmok Do?"

This time, at least the other boy responded with a nod.

"Well, Seongmok, looks like you're a badboy, huh?" Dongha grinned. "I should turn you in for money—"

Seongmok looked Dongha over and raised a brow, as if not expecting someone as slim as him to be able to take him on.

"Hmm...that'd be boring though," Dongha hummed. "How about we become partner in crimes? I never liked the heroes in all the books I've read. I've always admired the villains instead,"

"..." Seongmok held a hand out.

"Then it's settled," Dongha shook Seongmok's hand. "We'll be the Mokha Duo and we'll rule the world!"

"..."

"Okay, maybe that's too idealist," Dongha said. "We'll just be the criminal duo that always successful evades capture,"

Seongmok nodded his head in approval.

"Let's go steal something really expensive!" Dongha had gained his freedom and a new friend that day.

XXX

'It's been a month, so that boy should be feeling lonely,' The witch made her way back to the tower. 'Hmm, he seems to be understanding his situation much better now. He's got his hair already down for me to climb up,' 

But when she reached the top of the tower, Dongha was nowhere in sight. "Where the hell is that boy!?"

A loud explosion erupted at the base of the tower and the whole thing came crumbling down, burying the witch and killing her. 

Dongha and Seongmok had set explosives off and had waited for the witch to climb into the tower so they could kill her.

"Thanks for your help, Seongmok!" Dongha high fived his friend. "Now I'm completely free without worrying about that bitch trying to lock me up again!" 

Dongha is Rapunzel because his hair is long and luscious.