Some Things Never Change

Discussing

When Stevie and Lindsey made their way home, she didn't say one word. She just couldn't. He had tried a few times to start a conversation but she had just shaken her head and told him they could discuss this when they were home again.

The front door shut loudly behind them as Lindsey watched Stevie walking into the kitchen.

“Steph...?”

“Lindsey, I can't believe what you did to her!”

“What?”

“You didn't even call her once to tell her that, whatever it was between the two of you, was over?!”

“Are we back to believing I slept with her?! Cause if we are, no I didn't...”

“Lindsey, that's not the point! I don't care if you had sex with her! I honestly don't! She is young, she is beautiful, we had broken up, I would totally understand if you did. No, it's the way you treated her!”

“I didn't sleep with Kri...!”

“She is heartbroken, Linds!”

“I wanted you back, Steph.”

“And she was in love with you.”

“She.. what?!”

“Lindsey, please don't tell me you didn't know...”

“I didn't.. How..?”
“I saw it in her eyes the minute I saw her. It was the way she looked at you. It's the same way I look at you..”, Stevie said slowly.

“Please, listen to me!”

She sighed, nodded and sat down in front of him at the table.

“You wanna know why I didn't call her? Because I had you back, Steph! The last time I saw Kristen was the same night you took me back! I was happy again. Second, I knew I hurt her, I embarrased her. I thought she would never wanna see me again.”

“Oh, Linds...”

“And third, I didn't sleep with her! Believe me, please! I didn't! Can you please trust me in this. I never cheated on you! There was a kiss, yes – but that's all.”

She looked at him. And she saw it again. The fear of losing her – she saw it written all over his face.

“We won't break up, Linds.”

“You won't leave me?”, he asked anxiously.

“Hell, I don't, Linds! I love you! We talked that through a thousand times! I'm not going to leave you again!”

“Then why are you so...”

“I don't know!”, she jumped up and went into the kitchen.

“Steph, what is it?!”, he followed her. She looked away from him, she couldn't face him, now.

“Look at me!”, he demanded and turned her around. She still kept her eyes to the floor. He lifted up her chin and saw tears in her eyes.

“Talk to me, Steph. What is really going on?”

She bit her lip. Don't cry, don't cry, don't you fucking cry, she thought to herself.

“She is so young..”

He sighed heavily. Not that discussion again!

“I'm old, Linds.”

“Steph, please, just don't start that again! It's bullshit and you know it!”

“No, it's not! Tell me, how old she is!”

“It doesn't matter, Stevie!”

“It does matter!”

“But it doesn't matter to me!”, he said.

“I want to know, Lindsey!”

“She's 29..”, he mumbled.

She gasped. 29! She was 21 years older than her. Kristen could even be their daughter.

“Why did you come back to me, if you could have had her? She is beautiful! She is young, she is...”

“Everything you're not!”, he ended her sentence.

She looked up to him and now the tears fell. Fuck!

“Steph, please, listen! I'm so tired of those endless I-am-too-old-for-you-discussions we are lately having all the time! It's bullshit! I tell you every single day how much I love you. Isn't it enough? Why don't you believe me? You've always been a little over a year older than me! Why should it bother me now?!”

“Because it bothers me..”, she whispered.

“I need you to stop that, Steph! There is no reason for you to be so insecure about yourself! There are millions of men out there who would kill to spend one night with you! And I cannot believe how lucky I am to be the one who does every night. I love you. You are beautiful. Inside and out!”

He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly, placing kisses on her hair.

“Promise me that this is the last time we are talking about this.”

“You mean it?”, she asked quietly.

“I do!”

He held her for a while, stroking her back and listening to her breathing. Sometime, she pulled away and looked into his eyes.

“There is something else, Lindsey.”

“What is it?”

“I have to go on tour again!”

“Whaaaaaat?!”

“I'm sorry..”, she cried again.

“No, Stevie, no! Don't do this to me, now!”

“I have to. They want me to.”

“You can't be serious!”

“They've been calling me for months and I always tried to postpone it.. Until now. They want me to go. They're releasing a greatest hits box set of my work and I have to promote it.”

“I can't believe it..”

“Linds, you know this is how the buisness works. I have to go. I have no option!”

“Why didn't you tell me?”

“I was... I was scared.”

“I don't want you to leave, Steph”, he was tearing up and now she was the one to comfort him.

“I don't wanna go either.”, she whispered into his ear and kissed his hair.

“When will you have to go?”

“At the beginning of the next year.”

“Does Sara know?”

“No, not yet. I told you first.”

They held each other silently, both feeling miserable of how things had turned out.

“What do you want me to do, Steph? Come with you? Stay here and look after Sara..?”

“I don't know.. What do you want to do?”

“I wanna be with you. But we shouldn't leave her behind. She is family to me, you know..”, he said.

She swallowed. This was beautiful. Hearing him say that he cared so much for her daughter that he was worried of leaving her behind for too long, made her love him even more.

“We'll figure it out, Linds. We have a few more months.”